Facing your fear2
None of us know what we will do3
Until the time is near4
Planning and waiting5
Wondering and preparation6
Can not prime us7
For the unknown8
Deep inside we examine9
What we most despise10
Looking into the mirror11
We see our own guise.12
Soon we will find 13
The greatest enemy14
Resides with in us15
Our own trepidation16
What we can not control
********************************************************************18
Mitch had been wandering around the parameter of the grounds for days. Watching his quarry like a bird dog. No longer was Angie his only target, he wanted that man who always seemed to be around her.19
Watching her swim in the pond had been unbearable. She was there and so exposed, so easily taken. Then he showed up. Mitch could see Jack had some kind of control over Angie, and that only served to piss him off further. He wished he could hear what they were saying, but he was too far away and the fence was in the way of any advance. 20
He sat there brooding in his hotel room, sharpening his knife. He glanced down at the shining blade and smiled. It would cut through her like butter. Mitch was sure he would enjoy doing away with her. Angie had crossed him one to many times.21
*****************************************************************22
Angie’s arms were sore from target practice. She hadn’t really wanted to use a gun but figured knowing a bit about them would help to calm her fear. Realizing that she was a pretty good shot naturally bolstered her esteem a bit. 23
She stretched in bed as Steven turned over still asleep. Looking down at his little face she knew what must be done to ensure his safety. She would not allow that monster to raise him. 24
Monster, yes that is what Mitch was. It is one thing to hit a woman, to beat her, wear her down mentally and emotionally. It is another thing entirely to kill her offspring. The knowledge of what he had done to Anne had hit her like a ton of bricks, and lit a fire she didn’t know existed. She didn’t waste her anger on herself, there would be time for that later, she focused instead on how to solve the problem. The problem was Mitch. It was time she stopped being the hunted, and became the hunter.25
After breakfast Angie took Steven to the school they had there. He was learning quickly, and advancing well. He looked at her and told her he loved her then ran off to be with the other children.26
She looked at him and sighed, smiling at the confidence he had acquired. Turning she started off to her class. 27
Michael waited patiently for her, doing some Tai Chi exercises to warm up. He had written a book used by the Los Angeles police department on rape and how to avoid it. This book had been handed out in women shelters and hospitals all over the nation. 28
When Jack called and requested his assistance Michael had accepted before he heard the situation. Jack had not called on him before, though Michael had offered numerous times to help with Jack’s women before they return to the “real world”.29
Jack explained this was a special case, Angie needed to learn quickly and fiercely. While basic self defense was usually enough for the others, Angie was up against big odds. He didn’t know what she had planned but sensed that it would be final.30
Michael caught the next plane out and joined Jack the next day. He watched Angie from afar, and got to know some of her natural movements, this was important for her training. He made a plan and worked out her lesson. She would have eight hours to grasp all he had to offer.31
Angie walked into the gym and looked around. There were knives, guns, and other weapons. Her heart started to race, wondering if she was up to the challenge. Her mind flashed back to Anne and she steeled herself for what was to come.32
Michael walked over to her, and introduced himself. Then asked her to join him center mat.33
“You I understand have assigned yourself quite a task, while I don’t know what it involved and I do not care to, I am here to help you. I have not done this before, but Jack told me it was important you know the best most effective things I have to offer. Once we start we will not stop. I have to know now that you are 100% committed, and will listen to everything I have to say. If not, leave now and we can both return to our lives.” Michael said sternly.34
“You don’t understand, unless I do this, I can not return to my life. I am tired of running, of looking over my shoulder. I am ready to learn what you have to offer.” Angie said looking Michael straight in the eyes.35
With that Michael began his teaching.36
Usually martial arts training is filled with self defense forms, katas and philosophy. What Angie would get was a crash course in survival. Grappling was the first lesson. 37
Michael threw Angie to the floor with no warning. She lay there stunned, then he was on top of her. She kicked and thrashed until she was worn out. Then lay there limp.38
“Lesson one, use your attacker against themself, save your energy, you prevail. Let me show you how.”39
Angie followed his lead as he showed and explained to her how to fall, then throw an attacker. The practiced the turret, and several different joint locks. Soon she was able to hold Michael off for several seconds before he was on top of her. The turret made Angie glad she had started running. The throw was easy enough, and using the attackers energy left her so many options.40
Michael explained, “Not all attacks will be from the front, over 90% are from behind. How will you protect yourself if you are falling forwards? What will you do to protect your head after you are down, and how will you get your attacker off of you?”41
Angie thought for several moments, working through the scenario. She offered Michael an answer.42
“I will want to protect my head, put my arms underneath if possible.”43
Michael smiled then showed her the techniques for this situation. He was impressed with her progress and retention. As they practiced the techniques over and over again.44
Soon they moved onto weapons. Beginning with knives, Michael showed her how to defend against them and disarm the attacker. 45
The hardest part was watching the knife. There were so many different ways for it to go depending upon how it was being held. After a couple of hours Angie was correctly defending against an attack most of the time. 46
Michael made the attacks seem real even though they practiced with a toy knife. His eyes boring into her before every attack, trying to break her concentration. Angie had some determination about her. 47
He had given black belt tests that weren’t this hard, or this long and had seen people fall by the wayside. But this wasn’t a test to Angie, this was her life.48
Finally at the end of the day , when Angie couldn’t hardly move anymore, he brought out a gun. 49
Angie laughed, “How do you defend against that?”50
Michael answered, “How many directions can a bullet travel in?”51
“One?”52
“Was that a question or a statement?”53
“One, only one.”54
“Correct, so if you can control where the bullet goes, you can defend against the gun.”55
This concept was tripping Angie out, though she seemed to know it was true. The things she had learned today were immense and she took this in stride with all the others.56
Ten hours into the training Angie stopped for another water break. Weary to her bones, she wondered how much longer she could go on. Then the lights went out. Though the back up lights remained on, it was quite dark.57
“Michael?” she heard no response, walking away from the fountain, she heard footsteps coming up behind her. Turning quickly she was soon on her back. Disoriented and in pain, she started kicking with everything she had left. Soon he was on top of her, trying to pin her down, his full strength and fury upon her. Calming herself she waited for the right moment then did what she had been taught. Getting up and running away Michael caught up to her again. The blade of the knife caught some light and gleamed. This wasn’t play any longer. He came at her full on, and nicked her arm. Her focus tightened and she was able to knock the knife from his grip.58
Breathing heavily she thought the exercise was over, as she heard a gunshot in the air. She stopped dead stride and turned, knowing that defending against a gun was better done face to face. He backed her to a wall, she had taken more than three steps backwards and cussed herself under her breath. He held the gun to her head and said, “Now what?”59
They hadn’t practiced this, Angie was wild with adrenaline. Her senses on overload she did what she instinctively felt from her training. Turning quickly she got out of the way of the barrel and disarmed him.60
The lights turning back on blinded them both temporarily. Michael looked at her and said “We are through, you have inside of you what you need.” then turned and walked away.61
Angie wanted to call after him, tell him she wasn’t ready, but her voice wouldn’t let her. She stood there for several moments, letting it all sink in, then headed back to her room to get showered, read a book to Steven and go to sleep.62
Michael met up with Jack and told him there was nothing else he could show her that would help her anymore than what she had learned today.63
“Will she be ok?” Jack asked.64
“I truly can’t answer that question, none of us know until we face our fear what we will do. What I can tell you is that woman has a strong will to survive, and that will be her greatest weapon.” Michael replied.65
Weeks had passed since Michael was here, Jack continued to help her with drills until she became sharp, and did not hesitate.66
She felt something growing within in her. A confidence she never knew existed. Not a cocky self assurance, but an ethereal knowledge of what must be done. She had told Jack she was ready , after practice that day. He looked and asked if she was sure.67
“No, no I’m not sure, but if I don’t do this now, I never will. I could stay and practice for years and not be any more ready. I just want to spend the weekend with Steven, incase....incase I don’t make it back. I want him to know how much I love him. I have some things for him, my diary, my poetry, will you give them to him if something happens?”68
“Of course.” Jack replied.69
With that Angie walked away.70
Saying good bye to Steven would be the hardest thing Angie would do. She drank in the sight of him, then gleefully said, “I will see you in a couple of days, Mommy is going on a trip, and you need to be a big boy for Beth and Mr. Jack ok?”71
Steven looked up at her and smiled, then hugging her and kissing her cheek ran off to play.72
“It is how it should be.” Angie said.73
*******************************************************************74
The hotel room Angie was staying in was less than desirable. She had become spoilt at the mansion. But she didn’t know how long she would have to wait. Angie had picked up a waitressing job at a local diner and enjoyed the comradery she had there. Three weeks into this and no sign of Mitch. She was starting to get discouraged.75
She was pouring coffee for one of the regulars when she spied someone outside and across the street. Not paying attention, she heard the patron say “Hey Angie watch it.”76
“O darn, I’m sorry Tom let me clean that up for you.” Angie said as she looked at the coffee all over the table. Her hands were shaking as she went to put the coffee pot down. She thought it was Mitch across the street, but was it? She took the towel back to Tom’s station and cleaned up her mess.77
“Don’t worry about the bill Tom, it is on me and my clumsiness today.” , Angie smiled down at him, he smiled back.78
“Eh, no worries, not the first time it happened, at least it didn’t land in my crotch” Tom said.79
Angie blushed immediately and moved away from the table. Waiting on her other customers. Glancing out side to see if that person was still there.80
*******************************************************************81
Mitch moved as soon as Angie made eye contact. He hadn’t wanted her to see him. In a week of watching her at the diner all day, she hadn’t spotted him. He was getting to know her pattern pretty well, and had noticed that particular person she was waiting on sat at her station each morning.82
He would put a stop to that. Mitch waited for Tom to come out of the diner and around the side to his car. Tom never saw his fist coming, and by the time Mitch was through with him, he wouldn’t see much of anything for a while.83
Angie panicked when someone rushed in and called for someone to dial the first-aid. She ran outside and about fell down when she saw Tom lying on the ground. She knew for sure now Mitch was there, and had been watching her. Tom had become his victim, and she turned, went inside and quit. She wouldn’t put anyone else in danger.84
The next morning, Angie called the hospital to check on Tom, but nothing had changed, he was still in intensive care. She decided it was time, for the hunted, to become the hunter.85
Guessing that Mitch would be at the same place, Angie went to work like she was still employed, walking through the front door, pouring a few cups of coffee then heading out the back. The cook in the diner looked at her like she had lost her mind, but Angie didn’t care, she had to see what Mitch was up to.86
Walking around the building she changed clothes in the alley. Putting on sneakers, and jeans she walked down the street a bit then doubled back on the opposite side.87
She spied Mitch in the bookstore across the street. The irony of him sitting there in the window pretending to read struck her as funny and she laughed a bit. It was about an hour before Mitch gave up and walked out of the bookstore. 88
Mitch was wondering what had happened to Angie, why she hadn’t been serving today. Maybe she was doing dishes he thought as he walked down the street. He stopped in a convenience store and bought a Playboy and some cigarettes. The magazine should tide him over until he can get Angie to himself for a few hours. The thoughts of what he would do to her made him hard, and he adjusted himself.89
Angie stayed just out of sight should he decide to turn around. As she had thought his hotel was within walking distance of where she had been working. She followed him there, got his room number then went back to her own motel.90
Sitting on the bed she contemplated her next move. He would never expect her to come after him. He was too sure of himself, too bold. She gathered her thoughts. She would do it tonight, before she had time to talk herself out of it. Angie laid down to rest, and fitfully she did.91
Waking about 1 am she gathered her things. Tucking the Smith and Wesson in her belt, she set off. Getting there took less time than she thought and she was shaking as she approached the front desk of the dive.92
Walking in she introduced herself to the night clerk. 93
“Hi, I’m Angie Monroe, my husband Mitch is in room 229, I am surprising him early, I was going to meet him tomorrow, but I left today, and well, can I have the key so I don’t disturb him?”94
The night clerk asked for i.d. and Angie showed it to him. He handed over the key with out anymore questions. He didn’t get paid enough to care.95
Angie walked on shaky legs to Mitch’s room. She stood there, wondering if she was ready, then slowly slipped the key into the lock. Turning the knob slowly a little click was all she heard as the door opened. 96
Stepping inside she waited for her eyes to adjust. Then felt cold steel across her throat.97
“Hello bitch, did you think you could sneak up on me? That I wouldn’t see this coming? I’ve been waiting for you since the night clerk called. I will admit that I underestimated you, I thought it would be that man you are always with. The one who seems in charge up there. Is Jack his name? Well ole Jackie boy will get a great surprise when I send him a tape of what I did to you.” Mitch said seethingly.98
Angie held her breath, afraid to move. This hadn’t been her plan.99
He removed the knife from her neck and pushed her down to the floor. Putting the knife on the bed he moved over to her. Angie had gotten up on her hands, and was facing him. A look of fear over took her face and Mitch smiled. He had her right were he wanted her.100
Angie let him believe what he wanted. She was afraid, no doubt, but that was a good thing. Fear was a powerful motivator. He came down upon her like a beast. Ripping open her shirt.101
He let out a stream of obscenities and raised his hand to hit her. Sensing her chance she pinned his leg and flipped him over. Hitting his head on the dresser he was disoriented long enough for Angie to get up. 102
“Why you little cunt, who do you think you are? You belong to me, don’t you know that, I OWN YOU.”103
“No, Mitch, you don’t, Im not that same, pathetic woman you used to know. I am Steven’s mother, I am Anne’s mother and I know what you did. I know you killed her Mitch, I know you held her under the water until she couldn’t breathe. How was it Mitch, watching her little body gasp for air?” Angie said all this while advancing towards Mitch. All the hate, and hurt and rage coursing through her body. All the saved up energy from the fights she never fought.104
She stood in front of him now, unafraid of dying, unafraid of what he may do to her.105
His first hit was like a mack truck, slamming into the side of her head. She shook it off and ducked the second one. The third blow came quickly and she threw him over into the tv.106
The crash it made was loud and the neighbors knocked on the wall. He stood up, dazed and confused.107
“Seems someone has gotten some lessons.” he said.108
“No, someone is tired of your shit, I’m not your victim anymore.”109
She stepped to the side as he charged her, plunging him into the door. His rage was now working against him. He came at her again and she miscalculated. He pushed her onto the bed then stood between her legs. His hands pinned her arms. She reached desperately trying to dislodge them, soon realizing he was too strong to fight against. 110
He held her there, blood dripping off his head, and licked her face.111
“Sweet as ever.” he said and she began to wretch.112
“Not my victim eh, I will show you whose victim you are. You always were a sweet fuck, lets see what ole Jackie has taught you.”113
She felt the tip of the knife with her right index finger. He let go of her hand long enough to start unbuttoning her pants, grabbing the knife she didn’t think but plunged it deep into his chest.114
The look on his face couldn’t be described. He looked down at her, then at the knife. Backing away he pulled it out of his chest. That was the best thing for Angie that he could have done.115
Blood spurted out of him like a fountain, and she stood there watching. Watching the life drain out of his amazed face. When it was done, she sat down and called the police. About that time she heard a knock on the door.116
Walking over, she opened it. A man in uniform was there, a gun in her face.117
“I am Angie Monroe, and I just killed my husband Mitch.” was all she said.118
The officer took one look at the place and called for paramedics. The paramedics arrived and started looking at Mitch. The officer looked at them and said “No, he is hopeless, make sure she is ok.”119
*********************************************************************120
Angie spent hours at the police station retelling the incidents of the past year. From when she had left until tonight. She was exhausted when they finished and locked her into her cell.121
Angie closed her eyes and slept.122
A few hours later she heard her name being called. She awoke to find Jack standing there, beside an officer.123
They discharged her, after realizing who Mitch was and what he had done. His fingerprints matched those they found at the crime scene from the hooker, and on Tom’s car. Looking at Angie told them she had been defending her life. Jack had filled them in on the rest.124
Angie left, sitting in Jack’s car. 125
“Can I see Steven now?” was all she said.126
She watched out the window the entire ride home. Tears streaming down her face. It was over, it was hard to get used to. Were it not for the bruises and cuts on her body, she would think it was a dream.127
The mansion was quiet when they arrived. Steven was asleep in their room, Beth was watching him. Angie walked over and kissed him on the forehead. She nodded to Beth, as she rose to leave. There would be a lot to talk about in the coming days. For now, Angie wanted to sleep.128
*******************************************************************129
When silence abounds131
The world is still132
She listens to the cry of her heart133
Afraid to see134
The dreams hidden135
By sheer curtains 136
Of a foggy existence137
Veiled in necessity138
Opaque by nature139
Riddles in her mind 140
She puts the pieces together141
Slowly a picture emerges142
Of beauty and worth143
Of pleasure and pain144
Of strength and flexibility145
And she realizes146
The picture staring back147
With blue eyes leading to her soul148
Is herself.
**********************************************************************150
Standing with the sunset fading on the waves, Angie holds Stevens hand tight. Their toes wriggle in the cold ocean water, and they shiver. December isn’t the best time of year to visit the ocean, but she was here with a mission.151
Taking the ring into her right hand, she flings it as far as it will go. Watching as one last glimmer catches the gold before it sinks into the sand below.152
Turning to Steven she smiles and says, “It is over.”153
Tousling his hair she turns and chases him up the beach. His laughter echoing through the air, freedoms final toll.154
Adding your comment: