Body Snatchers

It was a night like any other, well, no it wasn't, fog clouded the roads and a eerie light seeped through the mist, glowing luminously. But none of that would stop Ariel, the tough, blond haired, green eyed, second-in-command of a gang called the Body Snatchers, why were they called this you ask? Because that's what they did, they snatched bodies and everything on them, jewelry, wallets, the works. Ariel took a long drag from her cigarette and threw the but to the ground, stepping on it.

"Damn this whether", she says with a sigh, coughing, nearly choking on fog. Stepping away from the shadow of the gangs hide out she stares into the sky, or tries to, as the fog is too thick to see through. She shakes her head, goose bumps crawling up her arms, thinking to herself how wrong it feels to be out on a night like this.

Carmen comes out of the building and motions for Ariel to follow, she nods, she knows what to do, same routine as every night, just a different cemetery. They walk slowly down the road, Ariel walks a step behind Carmen, admiring her long dark brown hair and thinking of her pretty blue eyes, Ariel couldn't help but like the new addition to the gang, she had even offered to train her. Carmen looks behind her, smiling at Ariel, when a noise comes from the bushes...

Ariel pulls out her gun and Carmen gets her knife ready awaiting an attack...

And out from the bushes comes a huge black dog with red demonic eyes, glaring at the couple menacingly, as if to warn them of some horrible fate to come. Suddenly it starts to bark madly at Carmen, nipping at her legs.The startled Carmen jumps back, falling into a mess of leaves and branches. Ariel, pissed that anything had the balls to mess with her Carmen, shoots the dog twice, once in each of it's front paws. The dog turns as if unaffected and bounds toward Ariel! Though as soon as it jumps from the ground, disappears.

Carmen looks at Ariel with a questioning look on her face, While Ariel just stares at the air in disbelief.

She shakes her head and looks at Carmen, eyebrows furrowed, lips tight, and Carmen returns her look with a similar one of her own. Goosebumps crawl Ariel's arms again as she motions for Carmen to come on.

"We have to hurry and get this one, Boss says it'll be a good one, rich fat-ass old lady croaked three years ago, so we've gotta do some digging, but it'll be worth it, Boss says she's buried with all her jewelry and money and everything because she was so paranoid her family just wanted her for her money that she refused to let anyone inherit it", Ariel says with a giggle,"Ignorant old fool."

Carmen nods, walking right next to Ariel, the person she consider her protector, afraid the disappearing dog may make a return. Ariel senses Carmen's fear and refuses to let herself be scared, wanting to look good, not wanting to seem weak. She is, after all, a professional. They walk up to the cemetery gates, Carmen shutters the gates towering over her and Ariel, as if staring at them with a piercing gaze. In a flash Ariel is over the gate and unlocking it to let Carmen in. Now they had to go and fetch the shovels Ariel had so cleverly camouflaged earlier. Carmen hesitates, thinks twice and follows Ariel to the shovels hiding spot.

Dragging shovels from the bushes, thorns grabbing her sleeves ripping flesh, clinging as if to warn her, reminding her of the dog's glaring read eyes, they head to the grave, a Mrs. Alexandra Sanchez.

"Well, let's dig the old bitch up, shall we?", this is a question Ariel doesn't want answered, and if answered, she wanted a no.

Ariel hands Carmen a shovel and they dig, the hot fog growing hotter, choking the girls as the dug deeper into a grave of evil. The dirt tasted of rotten meat, and both girls knew it because so much covered their bodies, until finally the hit the casket, the open it to find the bones and still rotting meat of a woman so grotesquely fat that the casket couldn't have possibly contained her whole body when she originally died. Choking on the hot putrid air Ariel grabs the fat lady's hand and starts to pull off her rings, but as she does dirt flies over the side of the hole, covering her.

"Carmen?!" she lets out a yelp, thinking that the girl is just playing a trick but the dirt continues to cascade upon her, and Carmen never answered her call.

"Carmen??!!"

"CARMEN?!!!!!"

Her voice panicked Ariel claws herself out of the hole, Alexandra's rings still in hand, only to find no one at the top. Ariel picks up her shovel and searches desperately for Carmen.Searching every grave, every dark bush and each one without Carmen struck fear into her heart. Unable to find the girl, she heads back to the hide-out, in hopes she just got spooked and went back there.

She heads back, pocketing the rings and locking the gate behind her, firmly tugging on the chain, making sure it was tight, and flees down the wining road as though something was chasing her, but almost halfway back to hide-out Carmen's mangled body falls out of the dark full moon sky and on top of a frantic Ariel! She let's out a shrill scream of terror as Carmen's head turns a 360 and smiles mischievously at the shocked Ariel and falls off at the neck. Again Ariel lets out a scream, crawls from under the body and takes off running for her life. The huge black dog shows up, running beside her, red eyes wide with fear as it turns into a man and grabs Ariel's hands.

"SSSSHHHHHHHHH"

He motions for her to be quiet and pulls her into the bushes, causing her to scrap her knees and hands on the hard ground, a shocked and terrified Ariel gasps for breath, the leaves and rotten air still chocking her. The man-dog shakes his head, points at Ariel's ring filled pockets with a sad face, and as he did when he was a dog, disappears.

Ariel leaps from the branches, and by now our professional body snatcher is losing her mind, questioning her own sanity. She races down the road once more and dashed into the hide-out, hoping Boss will be there with an explanation, or a laugh and a practical joke, but when she walks in the yellow tile of the floor is stained red with blood, not a good sign for Ariel's theory. She walks to the bathroom, following bloody footsteps smeared into the tiles, and stares in horror, unable to scream, Boss dangling from the ceiling, and written all over the walls is

"she's your problem now."

Ariel stares, unable to comprehend the message until the door flies open, and dragging itself in is the body of Alexandra Sanchez, a mass of rotting putrid flesh, crawling towards Ariel. Ariel backs into the wall, closing her eyes, knowing that she is doomed...

The fat body grabs Ariel and drags her to the floor, the girl lets out a shrill yelp of pain as her head hits the ground, Alexandra pulls herself to Ariel's face, breathing deeply. The smell is horrid, nearly causing her to pass out...

"i-i-i-in.....", stutters the corpse,"in-n-nh-h-her-r-r-ri-i-t....."

Ariel's eyes snap open, her face cover in blood as the body coughs . Alexandra sticks her stubby, maggoty fingers into Ariel's eye sockets, pulling out her pretty green eyes as Ariel screams fighting the body, blood gushing, nearly unconscious.

"i-i-in-n-hhhhherrrrrri-i-it", Alexandra moans.

Pulling her rings from the limp unconscious Ariel's pockets, she give the room a big maggot filled smile, using the biggest of the rings she hits Ariel, over and over and over, killing her, bludgeoning her to death.

The next mourning the police show up at the former hide-out of the Body Snatchers, investigating, the whole place is a big gory mess, but one piece of wall is clean, and on it written in blood is

"Inherit."

Author notes

well i dont know how scary it is, sorry if it's not what you are looking for, i really tried on it, i like the way it turned out i think, it's really surprising at the least. gives me goosebumps YAY.

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Comments


  • AngelOfTheDawn
    June 21, 2007
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    Sweet...

  • Vampstress
    June 21, 2007
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    Now your getting the idea very nice updates

  • Vampstress
    June 21, 2007

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    Nice story line though I couldn't help but notice that this story could have done with some more show rather than tell. Suck your readers in with not only great story lines but descriptions that place the at the scene rather than having them visualaize what is happening. It's hard to describe so if I may give you an example, instead of "Ariel jumps from the bushes, and by now our tough second-in-command is a jumpy paranoid mess." you might write "Arial thrustes herself through the tangle of leaves and braches only to land unsteadly on shakey feet, the cofident professional lay rotting in alexadra's grave and has left her only with fear and paranoia that currently oozes from her in the form of clammy sweat." Kinda get what I mean? I'm just learning it myself but such a brilliant storyline can really get to people if you word it well. I did enjoy your write. well done.

    beginning: 4, language: 2, plot: 5, ending: 4, characters: 3.