How can you know? You wouldn’t be able to handle what I’ve been through. I mean all I do is beat the hell out of someone and they sent me straight to you. You want to know so I’ll tell you everything, every single thing I’ve been through in the last two years. Do you know how long that is? That’s seven hundred and twenty days. But no matter how long I dwell on it I can never change what happened that day, the same day where everything hung in the balance. I changed that day. I seriously did. I changed, I thought I’d never change but I did. I can’t even begin to think of how to start but here goes. We decided to have a party you know just the gang. Rodney’s parents said he couldn’t come but Rodney and Melissa-Anne showed up anyway. We decided to play truth or dare and it was Rodney’s turn. We dared him to climb the water tower so he did. He jumped. He thought he could fly. I suppose before that party I was an extrovert, you know the kind of person who would talk to anybody, but ever since then I’ve become an introvert and I also have taken up smoking. I can’t stop thinking that it was all my fault. I stopped talking to anyone even when Donna came over with Melissa to talk to me about what happened. They even tried to invite me to parties to get me to be me again but I declined them every time. People started calling me a freak but I didn’t mind as it just meant that they left me alone. My mum suggested to me to take up walking so one day I decided to try it to see if it would help me. It helped me a little at first. It helped me to forget so every time I started to feel down I went for a walk. One time I started feeling really down and I decided to go for a walk down to the shops to buy myself something nice. I accidentally bumped into a car and set off the alarm and who should come out? None other than Charles Malloy the old school bully. He wasn’t very happy at seeing that I was the one that set off the car alarm. I didn’t mean to set it off, but he didn’t believe that. He just continued on his way toward me shouting out stupid remarks such as “Bert you little maggot, you dare to try to break into my car?” You know I never really understood him. He spent his entire time at school trying to big note himself making all of us feel small and insignificant. He never really liked Rodney and he laughed when he got wind of how Rodney died. He said “pity I wasn’t there, I would’ve pushed him off”. I was getting pretty tired of the way he treated us at school, where if you retaliate you get expelled. Out here on the street there are no rules. I just calmly waited by the car for him. He knew what happened to Rodney, and exactly what I was going through. He did the most stupid thing he could which was to tell me to go and throw myself off the water tower. At that moment I lost control of myself and went insane. I sent poor Frances to the hospital. I mean I couldn’t help myself. The courts decided that I was insane and sent me to you to declare that. So now you know what’s the verdict am I crazy or what?1
Author notes
i did this for a school assignment
A contest entry
- Anything and Everything by Frozen Angel.
225 points, ended November 8, 2007, 36 entries
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Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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odd
well i could give him a verdict. not crazy just need a brake. really good and what class was this for lol. really good though.
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it was for drama it is a play
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Thats one crazy school assignment! gee, i really like your stories. they're not really happy at all, and of course thats the type of stories i like. anyway, this was awsome.
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that's a pretty cool school assignment, if I say so myself. good luck in my contest, and goodjob!
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interesting! i liked this and have a feeling i have read it before but a long time ago.
I can relate to Bert in the "freak" way where everyone leaves you alone because youre different. (not that im "insane" or anything weirdly freakish but you know how people are these days). I think that a lot of people could relate to him in some way which i reckon is good for reader connection and actually understanding the characters more.
yeah, perhaps paragraph it but i know people have said that before so i wont dwell on it.
well done on a really good read!
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I suggest the word "paragraph" to you.
Besides that, it was well written. -
The only this I would suggest is breaking this up into more than one paragraph. When most people see a huge block paragraph like this, they aren't really motivated to actually read it. I love the emotion you put in it. Thanks for entering my contest.
*Frozen Angel* -
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thanks for the comment ill keep that in mind for the future ive read a bit of your work and i realised that i have a long way to go but ill give it my best shot
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Omg, Mad as...It was so sad then-bang!- it was awesome -- So you know, I am Joe, Jeffry's friend - that kid? Remember?
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