The Maestro and Margherita

Come what may I wouldn't forget, I don't want to forget that night of travel on the train on the Partenopean Coast.  To think that my friends and I had been furious for having missed the last train.  If we hadn't I would have never met Amedeo and I would have still been uninterested, a wonder without a purpose, unenlightened without anything to stimulate me.1

In the compartment of the train, sitting in the soft penumbra in a natural disposition, his hands whilst his capricious and rebellious hair he sat veering conversations in many directions, thought pleasant and lucid was the intention of his voice.  He spoke naturally and coherent 2

in the warmest tone voicing his isolated judgements.  His husky and promiscuous Atlante-an body, his attractive  complexion to complement his manner of clothing at any rate free of negligence was perhaps what impressed me from the start but whether it was his appearance, the attention he bestowed on us or the enchantment of the tenebrous coast ,a scenery of endless feast of vitality and colours , or the silver moon 3

slowly penetrating subterfuges of fertile land , glimpses of orbits of gentle hills of the coast like the rounding of amphitheater., I was made breathless.4

He spoke in a vocabulary , conceptual practices as a person of knowledge of the world, a way of speaking that is practiced only among qualified 5

and talented people heeding us to think and command respect. He raped my intellect enunciating on contemporary issues, issues of interest but that in any case he has been one of few people I heard speak so vigorously of social injustice, men's deprivation:6

"No other man saw closely the evils that men inflict on each other " he said of Karl Marx while discussing with my friend Fay, who kept 7

arguing with him:8

He couldn't be more religious, he has embodied Absolute Religion, the Supreme religion, the doctrine of Incarnation, freed religions from limitations..."9

while he calm was contradicting her as if in a soliloquy:10

Our spirit continues to realize itself  in the sphere of history and continual relation to nature.  For Marx and Hegel nature is unpredictable 11

and therefore place limits on nature.  Socialism in any case was intended to free the condition of enslavement, a condition which as a result of the Revolution and capitalism had many enslaved to both money and power. 12

"Why the need to control nature, as nature has her certain laws?'  Fay 13

had wanted to ask.14

"Marx argued about the need to control nature as technology has obviously proved to be the successful apparatus to overcome poverty, but he focus mainly on issue of the few over the mass, people restricted and unable to elevate themselves to the class elite, the mass that had become the tools, the dead organism, the diabolic machine. 15

"Exactly, the mass enslaved... " Fay was insisting 16

"why then not remove the tools, the apparatus,the opulence and possessions17

from the few lucky ones.  Why not place them under social control for the availability of all mankind.  Aren't people better than objects of exploitation?"18

It seems he did not hold much faith in humanity they willingness to choose good , he held men do not learn from lessons of the past, that we tragically repeat the same mistakes times and times again.19

"Certainly" he proceeded20

"It is a wonderful and utopistic vision to imagine then that men degraded humiliated by manual labour enslaved and alienated by class advance to economical apparatus and wealth belonging only to the privileged" alleviating at length that Marx could not embrace religion 21

and that a political philosopher could never Incarnate absolute religion.22

And thus i sat listening learning new ingredients and recipes to human happiness by the same token already experiencing the initial pangs of covetousness for Amedeo's attention of Fay, stupefied of his robust body emerging fitfully illuminated in the dark background.23

he continued to argue that Marx does not allow for the individual to rise himself to attain the fullest of his capacities but rather wishes man to sacrifice their individual happiness for the sake of the mass, therefore removing his free will.  And he continued to stimulate my sense of conscience in much the same way he had scintillated my sense of vision.24

i thought of him often and that night of voyage and what a wonderful reaction he was able to stir.  How often i was lead to gaze out of the window that night at the most dazzling sun still in collision withe the moon always closer.  He had seemed to follow me with his eyes , his voice as if  suspended on passing clouds in the domed sky.25

I remember further comments of men's inability to speak for themselves 26

of deprived human conditions as clouds were ascending to the horizon27

of a red sunset and violet twilight.  Amedeo, as a reflection in flight of clouds continued to be present at the base of those colours, a complete composition of light and sound.28

I remember him thus, our first encounter speaking in graceful morbidezza29

and a awkward way of running his hands through his hair. 30

In spite of treacherous and ferocious hurry to catch his next train in connection to the crowd i could distinguish his majestic and laudable31

his way and walking with aggressive linearity.32

It had saddened me to think that he had not understood that which i had wanted to convey in the postcard i had mailed him, honestly I was very disappointed till one day I received a reply.  Wonderful things began to happen when i received his letter,a river of sweetness anguish assailing me each time the letter came to an end:33

"I wrote earlier that I remember you with much liking, very true. I remember with a motion of pleasure and a smile you and that cordial34

and romantic night of travel.  I will surely remember it as the most beautiful trip of my life, and if you promise not to mistake me for the usual silly pappagalesque Italian, (it would hurt me) I confess that in more than one occasion i have been tempted to hug and kiss you such was the tenderness that you inspired. 35

Don't accuse me of lightness or the usual Italian thing, I simply wanted to refer to you that which the instinct had suggested.  It was a nice sensation because it was wonderful spontaneous and it is something that does not happen to me often and for this reason i remember it well.  If that offends your sensibility or other, i apologize the intention was not to upset you.  It was a beautiful thing , created and caused by the natural attitude you express and I wanted to return it to you>"36

The impatience and dread with which I awaited each letter were a clear symptom that I was experiencing a sensation and completely different sentiment to which i had been accustomed to.  In a brief time he became the man of my life and the certainty of knowing that he felt inside  what I was experiencing and that we were both on the same island filled my heart with so much joy and energy that my life had seemed tedious before he came in the picture. At another time letters he wrote me and from someone's else lips would have sounded absurd and for literature, in another instance i would have given him the brush off and would have probably laughed him as an ass but I was in love and hearing for the first time the poetry and music; words have strange sounds , they are cold and impersonal, exaggerated warm and sweet,weak and powerful but never adherent to reality,  Amedeo's words were the melodious sound I heard and I had a feeling my life surrounded by sounds of bells all around me:37

"Marvellous sweetness you have brought in , i thank you and bow at your gentle and melodious power.  it's a miracle, it's beauty that which has been born within.38

Don't grieve Natalia," he had written39

""Don't grieve I love you, I need you, i need you because i know now that I'm no longer inaccessible strength, fierce and inviolable.  I have you within inside and I know I wouldn't have to hate myself anymore.40

Don't show me fears , I am like you hear me and shall feel me.  I want to have you close to me, your soul, your confidence, your calm maturity, I'm feeling something that I do not recognize and it is wonderful to let myself go and be transported on wings of your poetry.  It's beautiful so much more for the reason that a life such as mine founded on the most pitiless and ruthless rationality, now instead that i have found you , you are the most precious goodness I possess.  I have discovered you and i don't want neither can i ever the same again.  41

You are my universe of infinite sentiments and a thousand times more I thank you because you have removed me from a rigid immobility..."42

.....43

My friends in the townhouse were never to recover from the shock of this opposite attitude of mine. For several years now I shared our townhouse with Gwen.  It was a beautiful home in the Annex.We had fun decorating always adding infinitesimal innovations.  We hadn't tempered with the architecture per se, although we chose to accentuate it's parts by suppressing a couple of door and arranging the living room for instance, a sort of a big and unique model, plain at the same time playing with the colours in different zones.....44