Her1
I had been watching her for years. I was sure she had a secret I would never know. I2
was incredibly jealous of her when I was younger. People seemed to flock around.3
her. All the kids liked her, and she wore all the right clothes. Her taste was impeccable and I admired her for that. She was bright, outgoing, pretty, funny, and all the boys liked her. She was real tough in a crisis too. No one would pick on her cause they knew she would not take their crap.4
Sadly I always had to admire her from afar. I was too afraid to approach her, too afraid she would make fun of me like the other kids did. She was my idol, my mentor, someone I pictured as the perfect friend and I didn't want to spoil that image by getting to know her. As she grew, so did I, she always knew the right things to say, she was funny, delightful, charming, pretty. I began to become aware that I wasn't really jealous of her anymore. I was full of admiration for her, every time I saw her I would think to myself, "I wish I could be more like her." She just seemed to have it all. I am not talking about the outside things like a nice house or a nice car, that stuff never really meant much to me anyway. I am talking about her charm, her smile, her choice of friends, her family, her values, the way she looked like she had it together. She always seemed calm in a storm, always seemed to be awaiting people with a warm word of encouragement. Yes, I had let myself get a little closer to her. I was not so afraid I would damage my feelings about her as the years rolled on, as I let myself be a little more human, I let her become a little more human too.5
She always knew what to say, what was important, had a sense of style I loved, a sense of humor I appreciated, and could not help myself, I had to get to know her. She was beautiful, yet humble, and her smile.. irresistable, when she smiled everyone around her smiled. She knew how to have fun too, she was adventurous, yet not dangerous, real wholesome in her outlook of life, seemed to have a dedication to balance, and I really admired her.6
Then one day I looked in the mirror. I saw her, I was turning into her. I was always her and did not know it. Then finally I reconized it. You see she was not one person, she was many women, all the women in my life I had admired. All the women I had wanted to emulate. There was a reason for this, I was her, I was everything I found charming in others. I just never looked in the mirror, I never realized she was me. Even after I started seeing her in the mirror it was a long time before I reconized her on a daily basis. I had to practice to see her, I had to validate her, I had to tell her it was o.k., and that I loved her just the way she was. That she had nothing to prove to me, that I would not shame her if she was not perfect, that she could make mistakes, and I would admire her essence just the same. That I was there for her to trust and I wanted to become her friend. A real friend, a close friend, someone that was always there for her no matter what her troubles were or what she was going through. I wanted us to celebrate life together. The more I validated her the more she became my best friend, and the less she became other women in my life. They became the shadows of what she now was..me. Her strengths, her weaknesses, her joy, her sorrow, her love, her7
hate, her grief, her everything became my everything until I could look in the mirror, and no longer had to distiguish her from me we were one in the same. 8
Then she told me her secret..We always were.9
Author notes
This is the story of me. Can your relate?
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Awesome I loved it really keep up the good work now to the next poem
-------------XOXOKelseaOXOX -
I'm so glad you entered this Paps! Wonderfully told. I know, how you can stand outside yourself and see only what others see. Sometimes it takes a while to catch up to our better selves. thought provoking and so nice to read ya
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Thanks for reading it
I was surprised to see your title with such a simular topic, I guess Great minds think alike!
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this is such a great story!!! i never knew other people wrote about this topic!!!
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Like, Amica, this very nearly brought me to tears. I think part of her comment might have been aimed at me.
I'm still confused about who I see in the mirror.
Your writing comes from your heart and soul and is so human and moving.......I'm so happy to see you here.
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We all find ourselves, the beauty, the smiles, the comfy fit that is us. Reflecting the thoughts wash us with life. And yet, in moments we lsoe ourselves again, and the joy of rediscovery is a wonderous thing. This is a great story of You. x
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Preachy? Hopefully Jennylee won't read any of my stuff--now that is preachy! Is wasn't the least bit didactic. It is merely life affirming. I could benefit from these words myself. Why from the review I figured maybe you were telling people how they should live (don't do that because that is my job!) Maybe you should write about moose and cows and the such (like me)--then people go, "Oh" and "awe" and never realize that what I am telling them is "You are lousy human beings--wake up!" Wait until you read that cucumber and potato story, you'll scream, "Why that potato is hilarious" and all along I'm saying, "Humanity is doomed to perdition." Ummm, was I going some place with this? Oh yeah, this wasn't the least bit moralistic--but mine is
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This story is both real and good.
I believe your message is real and generally honest. I personally might have used a few less adjectives and superlatives in describing your perfect woman. Stringing too many together reduced the impact of each one individually. -
Thank you for your comment. I am a forty year old woman that suffered from low self esteem for many years of my life, and this piece is a self expression about how I grew out of that, preachy lol. I am happy people are finally waking up and seeing the truth about what we really are. I wrote this piece about five years ago..or longer. Sorry about the mislabeling, I am new to this site and not familiar with all the navigations.
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Hmm, humor?? Excuse me if my critique is a bit harsh since I was expecting something funny which is what I wanted to read. I thought the beginning was rather repetitious. It could be cut in half and still have made the point. Basically, I felt this piece was a bit abstract and preachy. Self-esteem psychological mumbo jumbo I am hearing everywhere these days. I would have loved to see you illustrate the point with more of a plotted story.
Excuse my cantankerousness, I can see everyone loved it, so I'm the odd ball
Jennifer -
BeautifullyWrittenMustReadPiece!
How I so Love this piece, I nearly cried, Oh, Paps, yes, this ...she was/is you and then some...There is such a beautiful message to others who look from afar and do not know, yet, that 'Her' is who They Are.
I have read this, before, this time, Oh, God...it meant so, so much.
And You Know...Oh She/You...well, You are all of the essence of
Her, you are also one gifted and amazing Giver, this piece...to me, is a Gift.
and so are YOU!!!!
Oh, ((((Paps!))))))
I love this and I am so thrilled to see you, here, Oh, yes!
you, you are sooooo special, and y'know, That Cow was of course right...You, this, Love it...Love You!
I hope many will read this, especially those with low self/esteem and hope they 'see' that they may find hope, you know...
Oh, I ramble, but this is a favorite of mine and I so much love this story!!!
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Great job.Keep up the good work.
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Of course you knew it was me! That's cause your soo smart! My dearest friend ((((((((((((hugs)))))))))
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Hooves applauds with all 4 Hooves!
I love this. I knew it was you all along, Ms. Paps.
(((you)))
Hoovsie
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