I can hear you. I'm not deaf. I just don't respond. My vocals work just fine. I just choose not to use them. My parents still aren't exactly sure why.
My mother says, "Oh, it's just a phase. Natasha will grow out of it." But that's only reassurance for herself. She thinks it's her fault. She thinks it's her fault for not stopping my father. She thinks he beat me too hard and my larynx gave out. She thinks he was too hard on me, too hard on us.
But no. He was always really careful with me. And I deserved what he gave me. He never hit me too hard because I'm a girl. But Isaac...
My twin brother wasn't much worse than me. But because he was a boy and because he was older, he was beat harder. Too hard. My mother knew it. But she was too afraid to for her own safety to speak a word of it. She always told me when we were alone that she wished Isaac had been a girl.
One day, my brother and I were playing outside. I decided to go pick blackberries. He told me that he would be over in a little while; he had to check something out first.
So I went about the bushes, humming and gathering berries into my little basket. Soon I heard Isaac's voice. "Hey, Natasha! Come look what I found!" The next thing I heard was yell and the crack of my father's belt against flesh. Isaac was screaming.
My father buried him in the yard that night.
My brother, in his last word, screamed my name. And I never spoke again.
A contest entry
- my first contest!(lots of options!!) by Blu3Rose.
310 points, ended August 19, 2007, 23 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Options Inside by Taylor Renee.
500 points, ended September 16, 2007, 59 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Big Brothers by Mel-the-Believer.
225 points, ended August 13, 2007, 9 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Every Character has a Story... by Kevan.
200 points, ended September 8, 2007, 15 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Wise beyond your years? by Bitter Irony.
100 points, ended October 21, 2007, 26 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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!!! Great stuff! Very sad and touching. Good work.
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This is interesting, but I feel like the beginning is incongruant with the rest of the story - it has a rather flippant tone that doesn't really fit, which really takes away from the piece, as it's so short. Good job, though - keep on truckin'!
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awwwws thats so sad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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This was really sad. I don't get why the dad killed him though.
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He had obviously found something that he wasn't supposed to. I left it up to the reader to determine what that is. It could be a bottle of alcohol, it could be a severed head or a dead body. Let your imagination run wild.
x Julez
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Oh
My
Gawd.
That was horrible. Not the story, but what happened. Oh god, what an amazing piece. Keep up the excellent work and best of luck in my contest.
-Kevan
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He's my God too
I'm glad you liked it ^^
x Julez
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Awesome!!!! O.O...poor girl.
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Oh my God..........
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Wow! This was so sad. It was so good though, even if it was short. You got the story across loud and clear. I loved it. Thank you so much for entering. Good luck. God Bless!
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oh my gosh! this is probably one of the saddest stories I've ever read :'(!
I didnt see any mistakes! yayness.
I realllllllllly love this!! I seriously almost cried at the end! that son of a b**** dad should go to jail for the rest of his life.
You did a great job writing this, good luck in both the contests!
~blu3rose -
Omg. Omg. Omg. Omg. Omg. Omg.
This is so sad. Oh my gosh. This is so sad. I really am crying.
This is such a great short story...
Its definately a finalist. It was just...wow. Incredible. Great job writing it...It was so sad and good and I can't believe it...
Maybe I'll be able to comment better later.
Thanks so much for entering awesome job and good luck...
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Asshole dad!
That's so sad, but so well written. You managed to convey a great deal of emotion in a short story. Props!
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The ending is great! Well, i mean the whole thing is great but the ending just pops out!!!!!!!!!!!
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WOW
oh... my... god. that ending made me shudder. i REALLY liked it =] it kept me wondering though... as if there wasn't enough there to say how he died except for his dad... i don't know. there was just something missing. thats not necessarily a bad thing though... i still really really loved it.
nice work =]
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