I didn't mean to kill her. Or maybe I did. I don't know... It's just so confusing. I'm lost now, as she probably is. Hell, I haven't gone out of the house in days. I must look like shit. Too bad I have no mirror. Damn! Oh, well... I'm going to look like shit either way. Something tells me, though, that I shouldn't leave the house. It's not going to help; the cops'll come after me for killing her.
No windows in the house. A result of inheriting the house of your paranoid parents who home-schooled their children their whole lives. Maybe that's why I don't want to leave. Maybe it'll go back to the days where school was just every day life, and playing dolls with my sister was normal - no outside activity, just innocent, happy life. She wouldn't be dead. Neither would my parents, but they were never much of a help in the first place.
Damn... I really need a mirror. Badly. I don't really know why I need one - I just do. I don't know a lot of things, but... I have all these feelings. What I should do, what I shouldn't. It's all too confusing. But I need a mirror.
Finally, I venture up into the forgotten attic. Maybe there's a mirror up here... I tear through the dusty boxes in anger, searching for a mirror, or something of the sort. I finally find one, almost scared to look in it, afraid of the hellish reflection I know I'm going to see.
I look.
Something about the face... It's not me. It's her... It's me. Hell... I don't know who it is. Who did I kill in the first place? Who am I?
That's what comes of suicide I guess.
I walk outside into a barren, dark, empty world, dropping the mirror on the way and not caring that the shards of glass are digging into my feet because I don't feel it.
I'm already dead.
Author notes
option 9 I personally think it happens too fast, and it's kinda REALLY ddumb, but hey.... maybe others think otherwise.
A contest entry
- Story starters by Jinxgirl.
200 points, ended July 6, 2007, 11 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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oooo I loveeee stories like this!! bravoooo!! It really springs out all kind of emotions when reading something like this! I loveeee it
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Oh, wow. Pretty unique idea. At first I was thinking: "great way to get into an insane persons head"...I mean the consistent nagging of seeing themselves in the mirror. I thought that was interesting. It happened at a brisk pace, but not too brisk as to leave out most of the plot. Maybe it could use a bit more description, but what you have now is awesome!!! Keep on writing, as I said.
Everyone on here is so brilliant with their talent...you're no different.
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Oh, my....
This is good. True, everything happens pretty fast. Like BOOM! Kazaam! But it's good. Interesting? Yes...
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its a lil fast.......it just goes like boom and slam in ur face.......other then that....i think its kewl.........
i like how it gets the sudden twist in the end.......
loose the bunnies.....they disrupt the flow and really don't look natural at all.....ur telling a story here......
uh other then this.......i think its gud...
CHEERS!!! -
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bunnies? oh you mean the swear words XD a lot of stories have swearing. And I think it fits the mood because she's really angry and all... but thanks for the critiquing, of course I'll consider XD
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wow that is so...good!! really! i love it a lot!!! keep up the good work!!!
beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 4, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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I thought it was very well written. =) You definately have a lot of very creative ideas, and I think if you build on these ideas just a little bit more, you would have an even better piece of work. Congrats =)
beginning: 4, language: 4, plot: 3, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 4.
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actually this was a surprising ending for me... yes i did feel it came fast but it is not dumb at all. if if was longer it could be very clever.
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how'd you die?
i liked it. i liked the part where you bluntly said "thats what comes of suicide i guess". it was sudden, indeed, but thats not a bad thing. and also, how did you die? ... im not saying you should put it in ther story, im just asking out of curiousity. lol
Frankie
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