See Me Now

So hard to face the facts. The facts are all right there in front of my face yet, I refuse to see them. Refuse to let myself move on. All the emotions so locked inside me. I used want to yank them from my soul. So why now cant I let them go free and punish someone else?

The whole fact is it stopped. Theres no more touching, no more blowing in my ear and no more telling me I have beautiful eyes. All the words you said to keep me from spilling the beans. Yet there was a flaw, I did and look at you now. Than look at me.

Everyone is still there for you yet, Im alone. No one beside me to help me along. The only thing I did was keep it a secret for five and half years. Kept your flaw with my heart. Took everything you through at me. And I was the victim.

But why is everyone around you. Loving you. Hard to understand for me. All I want was to be understood, but I guess for my case that was too much to ask for.

So here I go to make everyones life better. Maybe they will cancel the trail, maybe I will help your case. Its what everyone wants, to see you and not me.

Maybe you will see me now.

_

"We are gathered here today to say goodbye to Nicole Stone. She was only seventeen and loved by many..."

Author notes

It was very short I know but it just came to me. The story is told before the fact that she kills herself. The one she is speaking about is her grandfather raped her, yet the whole family is hating her and still acts as if nothing happened.

A contest entry

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Comments


  • Saej silver member
    June 24, 2007
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    I agree with Token Massacre. It has great potential. You should probably go back and check the grammar when you look at the phrasing. Some of the words you used were wrong. i.e. "through" should be "threw" as you're talking about something being "thrown" versus something going "through" something else. Other than that it was good, and good luck in the contest.


  • Token Massacre silver member
    June 19, 2007

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    I find the story has a lot of potential, but there's some wording issues that take away from what you're trying to say.
    Repetitive phrasing tends to make a reader not be able to get into the story or identify with the characters.
    Your description is well done I think you could have done a little more to make them more personal... more real.
    It's a good start, I hope you continue with it.