Barefoot, I’ve memorized these floorboards a million times. Without my glasses, I’ve been guided by these walls endlessly. I know all the unpacked boxes, the ironing board (covered with books) that nobody bothered to put away, the newspapers and magazines, and the general clutter that consumes this house like I had created it. Which I partly have. Well, mostly.
I don’t envy people with clean homes. Dirtiness is a buffer between me and the world; and if I don’t want to do something, I always claim to be cleaning. But cleanness feels empty, isolated, inhuman. People say cluttered desks reflects cluttered minds. Cluttered, yes; but what does an empty desk represent? I would rather have failure's dust, the stuck-gum of “useless” magazine articles, and the bursting folders of politics and morality spread (read: spilled) across. I would be more proud of that desk than any neat or organized one.
Author notes
Just my thoughts.
A contest entry
- Short Prose by Bitter Irony.
165 points, ended July 2, 2007, 18 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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this was really nice. I especially loved your rebuttle about 'clutter desks indicate cluttered minds.' I've had that stupid line thrown at me before, and that's a great comeback.
This is a lovely bit of writing. Very nice indeed. -
I like it. :-) Really, you have me speechless: I can't think of anything to say but, hey, I like it! A lot!
My only advice is to get rid of the parantheticals, or work them in without the (). They disrupt the flow, especially the last one.
Congratulations, this story is the first one added to the finalists' list so far. Great job, and thanks for entering the contest!
beginning: 4, language: 5, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 4.
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Gee thanks - this was just what I was thinking at the time, and the parentheses are something I do when I'm writing really casually, without thinking. If I do another piece like this, I'll consider not using them. Thanks for the advice and the applause!
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