*** 1
Eating a bowl of alphabets cereal for breakfast is the highlight of my day. I confidently plunge the silver spoon into the milk and scoop up a random sample of the alphabet in toasted oat form. When I stare down at the jumbled letters that emerge from the silent waves, I feel completely at ease. There is nobody around to judge me as I attempt to read the word that forms before my eyes. 2
Then I go to public school, where I am thrice repeating the sixth grade. I'm told that I fell through the cracks until this point; that I should be literate by now. Why can nobody understand my written words? Why do my peers smirk to themselves when I struggle to read the alphabets to the class?3
At least at breakfast, my appetite is hearty. The rest of the day, I'm left with an uneasy stomach in all the frustrating challenges. 4
***
Author notes
I realize this is a very short write to enter, but I am one to take risks. I felt 100 words was enough to convey the true struggle of my character, and anything more would have taken away from the quick jab of emotion I am attempting to instill in the reader.
This is loosely based off one of my best friends growing up. He was held back in the sixth grade and was struggling with school big time. It wasn't until he reached high school that he was diagnosed with dyslexia. After receiving a lot of help and working diligently hard to succeed, he eventually received his high school diploma, which was one of the proudest moments of his life.
He was always jealous that school came so easy for me. I guess a lot of us take it for granted that we can read/write/spell/retain short term memories without difficulty. I saw first hand how hard things were for him, and it really made me appreciate my own gifts.
As a side note, whether he liked alphabets cereal or not, I'm not sure
A contest entry
- Short Prose by Bitter Irony.
165 points, ended July 2, 2007, 18 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Amaze Me!!! by tacobell4me08.
275 points, ended June 18, 2007, 20 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Fandi Contest I - Options by Asfand.
225 points, ended July 10, 2007, 42 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - The in betweens by DemApples.
300 points, ended August 29, 2007, 24 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Overcoming Obstacles by Ayesha Raees.
170 points, ended September 29, 2007, 7 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Special Needs Challange by dippedquilpen.
160 points, ended October 27, 2007, 5 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Mini Short Stories by abba12.
700 points, ended March 6, 2008, 36 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 48 of 48
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i get this. i have a friend who is dyslexic and kept getting called stupid, not cool. Good work.
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WEll done! Thanks for entering my contest and Good luck! <3 Princess Peaches
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I feel sorry for the child, my sister has dislexia too and it was the same for her. There was a real feeling of confusion in this peice.
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It is a very great write. It is very simple, but that makes it good. Thanks for entering and good luck!
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This is very interesting. Great write!
Illuminated *KT*
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simplistic, but inviting, which makes it interesting
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oh wow thats cool
it paints a picture of torture not being able to read '_';
great work although it could be stretched out further
*sheep* -
well i was typing a comment until it was erased and dang you have a lot of comments and trophies on this piece. anyways moving.
first off you made me laugh with the first sentence kudos to that! more credit to not finding any punctuation mishaps or misspellings so yay! and like i said earlier the shorter the better
all in all i love this. great job.
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This is very good. It's short, yet you definately portrayed what it feels like to be dyslexic. It was very powerful. Great job!
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awesome job
i like it!
its amazing!
good luck in the contest...
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I like it, very much so. I'd tell you that it was too short, but I kind of like that it leaves me wantign more, and also wanting some Lucky Charms.
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This is short, but I like it. It's sad and straight-forward and very real. It seems more like a fragment of a story, though, like there's more to be told. It has all the inspiration and talent of a wonderful story, but it's too rushed. All and all, great. Good luck.
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this nearly made me cry.
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hm. i think i have read this before. anyways, greatttt job. as u might alrdy know. and i have to agree wit the person below me... Captain Crunch does rule >.> thx for entering.
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Wow! This was sad, yet, hopeful, if that makes any sense at all? It was excellently written (and I see you've got 2 trophies to testify to that) Was a bit short though, guess that is the idea of short prose lol!
P.S. Captain Crunch rules!
Thanks for the great read!
♥NewGuy90
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Wow
This is pretty sad, and very well written. I feel like I know the boy, and that's great when reading a story. Good luck in the contest and thanks for the great story!
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I really liked this sentiment, and I think this will be one to win many awards.
Dyslexia can form a true school-time underdog story. Very well done!
This might not be a good thing to say, but dyselxia has always reminded me of a character from Arthur.
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a little short but short things are always good . i like the story but it seems like a begining to me. maybe you should try continuing and telling your audience of the struggles of this sixth grader. good job and good luck.
♠Punk -
Very short but very good. So the person had to repeat 6th grade
good word choice and good cliffhanger. but very very very short -
its really good...very short and very adorable!! good luck with the contest!!! thanks for entering!!
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People dont take it for granted that they can read and this piece sshows that we all should. This is very poetic work and I really like it. Have you shown it to your friend?
-Bro -
OMG!! i tired to wrtie for Short Prose Contest and this is the most difficult thing in the world!!!!^_^
i Loved this.....this is the first piece of writng in the competition that i find i cannot say anything bad about.......
its soo touching and i love the beginning......its very creative, very imaginative and just.......
*All hail to the king writer!!!
*
this was absolutely fantastic!!!
CHEERS and GUD LUK (u don't need it) -
Oh god... intense. I guess yeah, we really do take stuff for granted. I think your author noted could be a whole seperate story though... that hit me harder than the actual story. Lol, but everything's great. Keep it up!
~Kevan!~
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Wow, amazing! Very well written, a very worthy read, makes me heart ache
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Very nicely done, a sad story.
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i would like to give you a 10000
ooooo i like it alotbeginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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ooooo i like it
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I like this piece because it's short but still it tells you everything you need to understand the bitterness felt by the protagonist. I have a friend with dyslexia, it's nasty to see how classmates make fun of her. There are really too many people who take the ability to read for granted, my mother is one of them, she almost despises people who can't read properly and I hate it. Good job!
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Good start
It could make a good longer story with more description but since it was short prose you did well. -
Very nice and very simple very good job with the silver trophy.i wish you luck this poem should win much more trophies in the future!
-maddie
beginning: 5.
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I like this alot, it's very simple.
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WOW!!! This truley amazing work. Its really short which means your point is but across clearly and without any clutter type writing. I love the idea of the alphabet cereal, its really original.
This has made me realise the smallest things that make the biggest difference, like reading your story for example. I didn't think twwice about reading and commenting, it just came naturally, it never occured to me to realise a number people cant do this.
In a way this is quite ironic, writing about someone who can't. Great Job
beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 5, ending: 5, characters: 4.
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This was very well written. The emotion you used to grab your readers; peace, frustration, trama, works very well in grabbing attention, but also opening up to the actual issue that dyslexia is something that should be looked after.
Your structure is smooth and effective. I like how you tied everything back to the simple moment in the day where your friend just sits peacefully and eats his breakfast, no one judging him because he cannot read. It's very powerful, no matter the length.
I personally like how you used a personal example of what you have experienced or seen in your life to write this. It is so much more powerful that way, and I, as a reader, can feel through your tone and expression how much it means to you to write this.
Your character was real and effective, going through and thinking things that people can understand.
Great Job.
Creativeexplorer
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Good job!
I like this a lot. Was very well thought out.
Kinda reminds me of my sister too... she's incredibly gifted and has a really high IQ, but is chellenged by Dyslexia pretty badly. She can't even read her own writing half the time, still can't hardly type even. Math is out of the question. Thankfully, even though I have similar problems with numbers, (have to REALLY take my time with them or I get them all backwards or out of order, etc)...I eventually did learn to read and write when I NEVER thought I would in 1st grade! I remember to this day how difficult the struggle was for me, and I often stop now to think of how grateful I am that it all finally sunk in! It is an AWESOME GIFT we take forgranted....being able to spell, read and write. It's the most major form of communication and self expression there is, aside from the spoken word. And that's a pretty major thing when you think about it.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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I happen to like this alot! You have a good sense of (dark)humor...write with originality...and well! Clever too. Good job. Keep it coming
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This was great! I love your style of writing in this peice. It kindof reminds me of my stlye of writing. I liked the description, and the words used to describe everything. This was very well written. For such a short story Everything was clearly laid out and well understood. I loved it!
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Dude there are so many people at my uni who have dyslexia, even some of my lecturers, I have always really admired them (except the one who dislikes me, dyslexic or not I'm still tar and feathering)
I like your tying of the problem to such a simple thing as eating breakfast, by relating it to such an everyday thing you really bring the reader into the frustration.
Cool story.
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wow. A lot of people are held back. This is a nice little description of something sad. Great job.
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This is a very touching piece, and demonstrates very well how we all take such simple things for granted, and forget that so many people have a big struggle every day. Well written.
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wow this is shorter than I expected, but it's very, very wonderful! I really enjoyed this! It's absolutely great! Keep it up!
~*~goth&sweet - Bo~*~
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Hmm. Very interesting indeed .. = D
I think I have sorta a mild dyslexia. I can't spell outloud.. I always say the wrong letters, and I sometimes write them backwards.. >_>
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You and cereal...
Hmm... ^_^ when we write about people (and things
) we care about, the "passion" flows more (even with very few words), doesn't it? It's always nice that we could draw inspiration from those around us
I could relate with this a lot, maybe it's because I think I know a bit about learning differently. (during gradeschool, we were required to have notebooks AND write notes in them... these are then checked by the teachers, and as weird as it sounds, what we wrote there got graded. ^_^ mine would always be filled with doodles and random words, written in pencil when it should have been in ink. Teachers reprimanded me for not listening in class, yaddah yaddah, but I did take down notes - I just erased them after each lesson, since I remember things better that way.)
Someone said this piece made him/her sad - I don't know why I felt more hope than I did sadness here... but yeah, I wasn't saddened... it's more like you wrote this with the intention of wrapping up that sadness with hope. Rather, that's what I think anyway ^_^ Has your friend read this?
Thanks for this, Blu! *ends rant*
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Awww. That's so sad >_<
Good job on this! And what you said about your friend in the Author's Notes, I'm glad your he/she received a High School Diploma! He's a strong person, to be able to go through all of this. And I also agree that that lots of peopl take it for granted that they can read/write/spell/and hold short term memories without difficulty. I haven't exactly thought about all of those that can't, but I'm glad that they are helped.
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Excellent
I can relate to your friend in a way, as I have a similar learning disability, which affects visual processing, and it wasn't until I was almost 20 that it was diagnosed properly. I never did well in art growing up, because the angles were too much for me, and I sucked at math because I was constantly switching signs around. Even reading French, which I have spoken for more than 2/3 of my life, was difficult because all the words just swam together in a jumbled mess, and I would either have a panic attack and start crying or get a headache and have to look away because trying to make sense of it all visually was just too difficult. I'm glad your friend still made it through in the end, and I am proud of him for sticking it out. Great piece, my friend!
Love and light always,
Laura
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That would be so hard to live with. I feel so bad for the person who has that. Great story
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Very nicely done. I have dyslexia but got the training that was needed when i was in primary school. Its hard and your friend did well to go on. Its sad it was diagnosed so late in schooling though.
Nicely written loved the line "jumbled existance" as its sort of true
Keep up the great work
Em
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I know how your friend feels. I'm not dislexic, but I was not literate until the fourth grade. Anyway, this was pretty good and I really enjoyed it. Kudos.
beginning: 3, language: 4, plot: 1, ending: 3, dialog: 1, characters: 3.
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Very nice job: I love the way you focused on one particular moment from which to examine the main character's struggle with dyslexia.
I suggest changing the "jumbled existance" in the last line to something that sounds a little more in step with the tone of the rest of the poem: "impossible challenges" comes to mind, but of course it's your story, you know what effect you're aiming for.
This story was both enjoyable and insightful. Thanks for entering the contest, and good luck!beginning: 4, language: 3, plot: 4, ending: 3, dialog: 3, characters: 4.
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