dear diary,1
why? yeah I said why, cause I wonder everyday why I have to be different. Why I cant talk about all the cute guys in our school, why I cant accept a date when someone asks me out. Can you answer me that, of course not your a book and what would a book know except everything I tell it. Maybe god just decided it would be funny, you know sort of a prank on me. Cause ever since I was 5 I saw the princesses in stories who always got their prince charming. Unfortunally my knight in shining armor has boobs and is frowned upon society as the one I have feelings for. I mean I want to change my feelings but in a way I dont. its envigorating to know you are an individual, you stand up alone in a crowd. but it is love, dont mistake my feelings for anger or sadness, for I do love her its just harder to accept then it is for those who are straight. Yeah we plan on getting married some day and trust me my parents arent sure what to think, while Im not sure If my brother ever really knows whats going on. You know what was a big mistake? ever telling my friends. I know right now its spreading through the entire school and you know what, I dont care. Let them stare,turn their heads,and whisper behind my back frankly I couldn't care less. I just hope diary that the world will finally accept me someday.2
jessica3
Author notes
ummmmmmmmmm have fun reading, please comment, not a true story
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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dont worry, Im a guy
bisexual sure, but I thought this would be an interesting project -
"of course not your a book" 'your' should be 'you're'
"you stand up alone in a crowd" the 'up' is a bit redundant, i think it would sound better without
"for I do love her its just harder to accept then it is for those who are straight" 'then' should be 'than'
I'd go back and fix the comma and appostrophe errors in this. It's very angsty yet it's still hopeful. How you feel down about it but you don't care, you're going to be happy despite everyone else. Way to stay positive. -
Wonderful!
I totally loved this!!!! Excellent, short and to the point. Sweet too. However, I must disagree with pozo on this one, I think the grammar is fine because people don't always us proper grammar when writing in diaries. Some people do, but others don't, and clearly, this is a girl who does not.
Great job and keep up the good work.
Dominik -
I like the diary form, although I would sort out the grammar
This was a good piece- I liked how you got into her head, it was very good 
You described her mixed emotions well
Keep writing and thanks for your entry
All the best,
Pozo
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hmmmm.... i kinda like this... i mean i have a lesbian cousin... and i read thsi letter she wrote my parents telling them that she was gay and stuff and i found how she has some shame and afraid that her family wouldnt except her. well im not supposed to know that shes gay. but i sometimes get confuzed about her sexuality. but i like the structure of this. =awesome job!
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I loved this. The way that the character seemed so... i donno, real. She seemed so strong, and secure in who she is. The way she is ready to stand up for the love she has, even if others will criticize her for it.
I wish there was more to read, because gay rights is something I feel so strong about ^^ -
It just sort of flops out there as a one time diary entry, heard to get into. Maybe several enteries showing some movement in the character, and story would help make a difference. You have a good voice/tone in this which has me think you could do more with the idea. thanks for entering the contest, good luck. Dave
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The structure of the story needs some serious work. First of all, correct all the grammar mistakes. Then think of a more appropriate format for this idea. Or maybe just add some dialog. I really like the idea and I like the fact that you tried to get into a girl's shoes and live a little as a lesbian, but this piece seems to be lacking in smoothness and sense. Re-think this idea and try to re-write it maybe. I dunno, it's up to you.
Awesome idea and great attemp, Spence. Keep up the good work!
^_^
~Michelle~ -
i think this is a great angle to write a story tho apparently everyone goes thro a stage like this boys and girls, the imagery in this is great and it really feels like a true story cus im sure it is to somebody
great write
laura
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