Days into Heroes

Sword of glistening glory,

knight my days into heroes.

Change my devil spikes savvy,

piercing my queen's last breath.

For the end is the beginning,

to a larger glittering star.

Please tell me what you think

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Comments


  • Embitter
    June 13, 2007

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    Hmm, It just seems a bit too short to complete a thought, unless you wanted it left open to interpretation.. I really like it, I just wish you'd have said more.. ^_^


  • Bitter Irony
    June 13, 2007

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    What are you trying to say in this poem? It looks like you tried for imagery, but got lost in a paradox somewhere along the way. Sorry, but this poem is certainly not publishable and will be removed from the contest. Thanks for sharing your work, but spend a bit more time editing and getting second opinions before even thinking about whether it's publishable or not.

    beginning: 1, language: 1, plot: 1, ending: 1, dialog: 1, characters: 1.