Satanic Droppings

Satanic poop?  Maybe so.. Have you ever noticed that anything involving the devil is negative.  One of the few things that I've noticed is the fact that he is supposed to smell like sulfur and ca~ca.  Well, I've pondered this thought for quite awhile and I've thought of two explanations.. And here they are1

God (whom we shall call Billy Bob Joe) was sitting on his little pedestal looking for things to do.. for he was getting bored at the vast existence of his nothingness. (Angles were created before the Earth ) Billy Bob Joe decided to make little flying creatures..  So he snapped his fingers and POOF!  He had millions of the supplies he needed.   They were: bodies, gowns, halos, random musical instruments and wings.  (And of course a soul but seeing as those were added later they don't count in the four special items)  So he would dress the bodies, add the wings, give it a halo, put an instrument in hand, snap his fingers and it would fly away.  (Keep in mind that there's an angel choir.. so not all the angles got musical instruments)  2

Well as Billy Bob Joe was progressing, his magical juice for that day was running low, but he had enough to make his angles and rest for a day or two then start working on his planet that he knew would be dominated and destroyed by man.  But, after awhile Billy Bob Joe was out of bodies and all he had left was one pair of wings, one gown, one halo, and one little trumpet.  So god pondered on this for awhile.  3

He could just snap his fingers and get another body but that would take up his magical juice (remember, he was running low) and he wouldn't be able to give it a soul for awhile.  And just then Billy Bob Joe noticed he had a stomach ache.  For he hadn't taken a poo all day!  And this gave god an idea.  He would have a special angel..  Made for his own waste and bodily fluids.  So Billy Bob Joe went to his lavatory and pushed for about an hour and finally found a usable size of poo.  Reached in his Holy Water, pulled it out, gave it a gown halo, wings, and stuck the trumpet in one of the lumps ( it has no arms ) snaps his fingers and the little piece of flying poo was on it's way free through the air.  4

But the story doesn't end there.  Lucifer was angry at Billy Bob Joe for making him out of poo.  So he decided to wage a war upon god.  With him and his little minions against the most powerful being every to exist it's obvious who won.  So during the creation of the Earth.  Billy Bob Joe threw Lucifer's little angry self, and his little minions into a crack in the ground and sealed it for he was to live there and punish all of those who deserved to be punished.5

That is one explanation....  The other is just that.. when he was kicked out of heaven he fell in some poop from one of the creatures that Billy Bob Joe made in the creation and he can't get it out of his hair.  And that's why he smells.  6

I'm glad I cleared up that confusion for ever one.  OH!  and before I forget..  The reason why he smells anything like sulfur is because Billy Bob Joe's bodily fluids are special and when his ca~ca reacts with the Holy Water it gives it gains a sulfuric protective layer.7