Rain, rain,
Let it rain on me,
Cleanse away the teardrops that be,
Bury them where they'll never be found,
Never to be thought of beneath the ground.
River, oh beautiful River,
Tell me
Where you are going
Bring me with you,
If you can spare a passenger.
Mr Wind,
Tell me your secrets,
Whisper them quietly in my ear,
I promise I won't tell nobody,
No one, not a soul.
Colourful flowers,
Brighten up my day,
Bring me to your own
Peaceful world,
Where the bees and butterflies may play.
The beauty of nature,
Simply take me where you may.
A contest entry
- Nature Poetry by Eternal Twilight.
170 points, ended June 16, 2007, 11 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Amaze Me!!! by tacobell4me08.
275 points, ended June 18, 2007, 20 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think!
Comments
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Oh and by the way, if I were you I would enter it in my contest Amaze Me. It would have a good chance.
beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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I loved this peice! The only problem that I had with it was the line where it said "I promise I won't tell nobody" I think "nobody" should be changed to anybody or anyone. Nobody just kind of sticks out and disrupts the great flow that you had going. Great imedgery! This was a very smooth flowinf peice, and it was very calming and almost rhythmic.
Great write!
beginning: 5, language: 4, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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That was really pretty! I loved the idea and it was written well. Good luck in the contest and thanks for entering!
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Wow detty that is beautiful!
I really like the bit about asking if the river can spare a passenger, that is lovely.
Good luck with the competition, I think you have a really good chance.
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