Bang bang.
I loved him so,
bang bang ,
but he told me no.
Bang bang
it made my mind go red,
bang bang,
that he loved a man instead,
bang bang,
so I shot my baby love dead.
Author notes
something i whipped up on a napkin. i was thinking and i just came up with it..so ya
A contest entry
- Haha by asthray.heart.
170 points, ended June 12, 2007, 16 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Not Dumb by tacobell4me08.
310 points, ended July 2, 2007, 23 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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sorry i forgot to mention this was a story contest only
. its in the rules now. as you can see below though, i like this poem hehe
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hahaha i love this! just the simple bang bang repetition is awesome! *giggles*. great work lol, awesome
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wow
Heh, this is so random. It reminds of that song from the Kill Bill soundtrack - Bang Bang, my Baby Shot Me Down.
Good poem. I liked the repetition and the simplicity. -
I giggled...about the man...but then the baby term made me go Awww....so I don't know XP
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Ya, Its kinda like a humor/horror thingee if you know what I mean.
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Wow, I liked the jealousy and violence you wrote about, lol. Anyway, the effect of "bang bang" was very clever...it made the poem flow with ease. Good job and good luck in the contest, thank you for entering.
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im laughing right now..maybe it was because of something else i dont know
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haha..well i sure hope its because my poem!
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Haha I know that's not exactly suppost to be funny, but I'm laughing right now
Maybe cuz I just read the comments
Anyway, I like this
I think the rhyming was pretty cool, and there's likke a natural flow of the words.
I love the idea of this. Awesome. Love it!
Good job lol
xoxo
Tay -
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lol..thanks...actually I was hoping it'd be kinda funny
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This was weird. I liked it but it was weird. It needs work.... Fix it up and I will re think this one. Good quick write. Thanks for entering, good luck.
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I love that nancy sinatara song. But I love this version even better! Good Job!
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It was pretty good! I think it was quite funny. ;D
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oh this is cool very brief but well done :
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I think it is very brief and its abruptness makes it both scary and funny which is cool.
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Lol shot your baby love dead nice line and needed to tie this off nicely.
Thanks for entering and goodluck
Lady Madeline.
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-laughs- This is adorable! Good job! It's very nice! I like it a lot. ^.^
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