Bring him back, bring him back
I come down on my knees
Bring him back, please
Oh, cruel life bring him back
You cant take him away this way
You cant just suddenly rob a life
Detach a soul from a heart like a knife
You cant just suddenly put an end to the day
Hey, yet did came to earth
Yet opened eyes to see, ears to hear
And now you watered them with my tear
Making his face drown in dirt
Bring him back, right from where you took
Return what was mine
And you and I shall be fine
Cruel life youre such crook
My only beloved son
How could you do this to me?
How could you take him away from me?
Leaving my motherhood undone
Bring him back, bring him back
I give my life in return
You can see how much I love I yearn
Just return what was once mine back!
He doesnt deserve to sleep in a grave
I have made a bed of linen and wool for him
A lovely warm tub in dreams he can swim
But not worms to dig and stave
Bring him back, bring him back
I give my life in return
You can see how much I love I yearn
Just return what was once mine back!
What do you classify a murder like this?
A crime or simply a plan
That you claim the life of a yet born man?
At least you could have allowed me a parting kiss
And still you call yourself so bliss
Bring him back, bring him back
Back from your deep abyss
Why he had to be dismissed
Bring him back; oh please bring my son back
A contest entry
- Make me cry by Beneath The Mask.
102 points, ended July 22, 2007, 11 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
Hmm...
This sounded like it was slightly forced; as if you were trying to make it from your heart, a plea, a wounded cry of the soul. It should have been shattering, and instead it felt forced. It's a well thought out concept, and it has great potential, but this sounds more like a preliminary piece than a final work of art. There was some awkward phrasing and things you tried to make rhyme that didn't flow too well. If you go back and read it with a fresh mind, perhaps you could edit it into the masterpiece it deserves to be. Don't stop writing.

