Spilt Milk

Jim chatted politely over the top of the constant rattle of worn out voices and clinking cutlery as they waited for the milkshake to be brought over. His order arrived in a hurried fashion as the tray was lowered and the slightly awkward looking waiter, whose name badge read "David TRAINEE", placed the tall white cup in the centre of the table whilst offering a rather forced looking smile. Instantly Jim noticed a problem and looked at Tiffany,

"What on earth is that?" he exclaimed, rather surprised and confused by the state of his milkshake.

"Its a smilie face." said Tiffany brightly.

"But what's it doing there?" he replied as his milkshake slowly poured out the side of his cup through a series of small but rather deliberately placed holes.

"Well you can’t put them in the bottom, that’s ludicrous, and there's no lid so I guess they didn't have a choice"

"What do you mean they didn't have a choice? HEY! WAITER!"

David TRAINEE hustled over, almost tripping on the legs of a table and asked what he could do.

"What have you done to my cup?" Jim demanded.

"I put it on the table sir."

"I know you put it on the table but why are there holes in it?"

"Well it’s a smilie face sir"

The mess in the centre of the table grew steadily bigger as the puddle drifted threateningly towards the edge and Jim's face turned a slight shade of red.

"I can see that it's a smilie face but the problem is that the milkshake is coming out the side!"

"Do go on"

"What do you mean "Do go on", clearly, I don't want my milkshake to pour out of the holes."

"Aah…, I’m not sure if I can fix that, I think it’s just the way that liquids work."

Jim's face had by this point turned a rather dark shade of red while Tiffany sat quite still with her pumpkin scone, watching proceedings with the utmost attention, eager to find out which of the young men would resolve the problem of the leaking drink first.

"I know that's the way liquids work!

I just want a different cup!"

"Oh I see.

Yes, but I don't think that would fix the problem either."

"And why not?"

"Well surely the milkshake would do exactly the same thing, unless...

Maybe if we could change gravity somehow then I spose, oooh, no, I'm not. That’s even harder than the liquid thing."

Tiffany let out a little impressed nose at the mention of changing gravity.

"Are you telling me that ALL the cups have smilie faces in them?"

"Ooh yes, its part of this new initiative. You know, 'We'll put a smile on your dial!'"

"Oooh! That's a good slogan." Said Tiffany as she discreately slid her napkin under the side of the table to catch the drips.

"How about you bring me the manager sunny?" Said Jim rather rudely.

"Yes sir, rright away." he replied with a nervous stutter as the thought of being told off for displeasing the customer flashed across his mind.

"Now try to be nice to the manager please Jim, you were awfully rude to that poor chap." Suggested Tiffany very sweetly.

A tall man with a gaunt looking face and thinly rimmed spectacles came striding over, followed quickly by David TRAINEE.

"What can I help you with sir?" He asked in a deep but very sincere sounding voice.

"Well I ordered a milkshake, and as you can see all the milkshake has poured out onto the table so now I cant have it can I"

"No sir you are most certainly correct, you cannot drink the milkshake at all. David. Could you bring this customer a new milkshake quick smart, and make sure that it comes sitting in a bowl this time to catch all the milk in case it comes out again."

"Wait,

No!

Ok.

I've changed my mind.

I don't want the milkshake any more.

I think, I might just have a glass of water instead, if that’s not any trouble thank you."

"Oh no trouble sir, that’s quite alright." He said most discerningly as David TRAINEE quickly rushed off to the kitchen, returning almost immediately clutching a large glass of water with some vigor. No sooner had the water been placed in front of Jim than it completely rushed out onto the table to mix with the milkshake. Puzzled, and furious, Jim Stared down at the glass which was missing one entire half.

"Ooh ooh, i'v got it.

I know this one!" said Tiffany excitedly.

"The glass is half full!"

"Quite right miss" Said the manager calmly, "We always like to believe so."

Jim said nothing as the vein on his neck throbbed and the blood in is cheeks turned them even darker. Picking up his bag he stormed out of the restaurant amongst a barrage of dirty stares from disrupted patrons.

"A bowl" remarked Tiffany admiringly as she stared up goggle eyed at the manager.

"How ingenious of you to think of catching the milkshake in a bowl!" She said and sighed deeply, rested her chin on the palm of her hand and blinked joyfully.