Luxuria

"Want to make her a little jealous." I said1

"Luxuria, how do you propose we do that?" Ax interjected. 2

"We have a little erotic fun." I replied with a twinkle in my eye. 3

"I'm listening, what will we do?" Ax asked. 4

"God you're so full of questions..." I commented, "We could do it right here in the pool, since I'm already wet and you have easy access considering I'm wearing draw string bikini bottoms." 5

"But that's not answering my question; I know there's a catch here, Luxuria." Ax replied. 6

"What do you mean?" I asked oh so genuinely.7

"You want to make Nisteria jealous... why?" Ax inquired. 8

"Cause she's forever telling me how good you are, and that if it was real instead of on the phone, or the internet she and you would orgasm like never before." I whispered in his ear. He gently pushed me away. 9

"What are you doing?" I asked. 10

"Nisteria and I are only cyber and phone sex, cause she is still a virgin, she doesn't want to experience it right now." Ax defended. 11

"Ax, you're a guy, a guy needs a little loving, and I've known you for a while, the videos you have and the sites you've bookmarked, they aren't cutting it for you." I continued to whisper in his ear. I quickly flicked his ear with my tongue. I heard him sigh heavily. That was my cue. I continued to bite on his lower ear, and gently suck on his neck. He kept sighing; I knew he was holding back. 12

"Come here." he finally said. He passionately kissed my lips and let his hands roam on my svelte body. His hands quickly found its destination, my apple-shaped butt. He gave it a sensual squeeze. I tried uplifting his white t-shirt, but he pushed it down. 13

"Wait till we at least get inside." He whispered in my ear. He walked forward, holding onto my waist as I walked backwards. I turned the doorknob to the exit door and we slipped through the slender opening, leaving the pool area of The Celestial Hotel in beautiful ST. Tropez, France. They kissed more in the hallway. 14

He pinned her to the wall as he removed the form-fitting, white, tank top from her tanned body, revealing her super sexy black and pink skull print bikini top. She looked at him lovingly in the eye. He glanced back and dove in for another kiss as if reading her mind. She innocently wrapped her left leg around his right leg. He moved his hand from her butt to her leg lifting it higher. He moved his other hand to her right leg lifting her body up to his waist and her legs wrapped around him. She draped her arms around his neck and continued her tango lesson with his tongue inside her mouth. 15

___________________________________________________16

Inside the suite that overlooked the French Riviera, Luxuria was showing Ax exactly what she's made of. He was seated on the couch as she was in between his legs wrapping her tongue around his 'member' and swiftly moving her tongue up, over and down. He groaned in pleasure as he pulsed inside her mouth. She looked up at him in awe as she started to deep-throat him. He had his masculine hand on the back of her head, gently pulling the straight, brown, bouncy ponytail Luxuria had her hair in. Her eyes were closed and her manicured hand was fondling her ever wet pussy and clit. He could hear the squishing of her fingers going in and out of her tight pussy. It was all too much for him, he shot his load of hot semen down her waiting throat and she guzzled all of it, willingly. 17

She wanted to prove he could do so much more, but one who gives must get something in return. He let his dick wiggle out of her mouth's grip and he pulled her to her feet. She tied the strings to her barely-there bikini bottoms when he knelt beside her and untied the strings with his tongue. The cloth fell to the floor. He kissed her silky skin and began fingering her hairless snatch. She oozed in pleasure. He took his fingers out and began licking them then he fed his fingers with her juices to her. She laid back on the couch and spread her legs as he crawled onto the couch and in between her legs. He leaned forward and grazed his lips over her bald pelvic area, before plunging his tongue deep inside her. After teasing her for a while, plunging his tongue inside her is exactly what he did. She orgasmed when he entered. He stayed down there for a good quarter of an hour, pleasing her with his tongue, ice cubes, and various candies he had stored in his suitcase. He was about to get on top of her and continue their sexcapade when the doorknob twisted and turned. 18

Luxuria clung to Ax, covering her naked body. Ax positioned his arms at the sides of her breasts trying to cover them. The door swung open and Nisteria walked in. 19

"What is going on here!" She asked, trying not to lose her temper. 20

"I better be going." Luxuria replied. She slid out from underneath her lover's body, grabbed the missing half of her bikini and scampered into the luxurious bathroom. She double-knotted the strings, stole one of Nisteria's Dolce & Gabbanna beach cover-ups, and walked out of the bathroom. 21

Nisteria glared at her (now former) best friend. Luxuria whispered in Nisteria's ear. 22

"You're really missing out on this boy. He's too damn good for you to keep to yourself." 23

Luxuria walked out of the suite with a deviant smile on her face. 24

"WHORE!!!!!!!!!!!" Nisteria called out to her lover's cheater.25

"And proud of it honey!" Luxuria winked and stepped into the elevator. 26

"How could you do this to me!" Nisteria yelled as she opened up her rampage. 27

"How in the fucking hell could you fuck my best friend!" 28

"You always said you wanted her to join in one of our sexual fantasies. IF WE EVER HAVE ONE!" Ax retorted. 29

"Ax, keep in mind who the hell you're dating here, you know that she used to be my best friend, and you knew that she was a slut! And if we ever did have a threesome I would stop because look how you were drooling all over her! Trash like that makes me sick!" Nisteria ranted. Ax didn't say anything. He knew if he just took the mild beating of words, everything would cool down and they'd go back to virginal unmarital bliss.30

"UGH! I can't even stand to look at you!" Nisteria snarled and stormed out of the room. 31

Hours later Nisteria never came back. Ax began to worry, but not too much. After six hours of waiting for his virginal girlfriend to come back he left the spacious hotel room and walked down to Luxuria's suite. 32

*KNOCK KNOCK*33

"Coming!" I yelled. I opened the door and found Ax leaned in my doorway. 34

"Coming back for round two?" I smiled. His expression was emotionless. He didn't catch onto my joke, or if he did he didn't think it was funny. I let him in and he sat down on the couch. 35

"Okay what's wrong?" I asked. 36

" Nisteria has been gone for six hours." Ax spat out. 37

"Oh." I muttered and bit my lip. 38

"Should I go looking for her?" He asked. 39

"Ax um a couple of hours ago there was a knock on my door and this was left." I stuttered. I pulled a black and silver lace bra out of my back pocket. (Don't ask how I scrunched it up so neatly and tight to fit in my jeans) He opened it up and a small, folded up piece of paper fell out of the cup. He picked up the note and read it. 40

'If you want me back, follow the trail of the bras and panties and I'll give you a treasure so far-fetched you won't even believe your eyes.' 41

"Looks like she's putting me on a wild goose chase." Ax sighed. 42

"Come on, I'll go with you." I responded. I grabbed my room key and we left. Up and down the halls of every level and every hotspot in the hotel we collected, black bras, pink bras, red bras, lace bras, and matching thongs to the bras. One bra hung from the doorway with a note attached saying, “Could I be in here?” The matching underwear came with another note giving other clues to another location in the hotel. 43

________________________________________________________44

Ax and Luxuria were starting to get irritated with this wild goose chase. The clues weren’t making sense and becoming scarce. The last lingerie clue led them to the presidential suite of The Celestial Hotel. A black, sparkled garter belt hung in the door way containing the last note. Ax pulled on the garter belt, a note fell the floor. Luxuria picked it up and a room key dropped out. 45

Faint screams came from inside the presidential suite. Luxuria placed her ear upon the door to catch a better sound. 46

“Ya know if this really is Nisteria putting us on this wild goose chase, I doubt she sounds like that.” Luxuria replied, pointing towards the closed French doors. Ax grabbed the key card and immediately shoved it into the security alarm slip. Inside the screams got louder. Ax thought his girlfriend but to his surprise it something much worse! The main room was empty but it was ransacked. The cushions on the couch were placed in every angle possible. The bench to the white piano had been moved. Shot glasses and Martini glasses were scattered over the granite counter tops. The stench of Raspberry Smirnoff lingered in the kitchen. 47

“Oh, Oh. GOD, YES! YES!” loud girlish screams accentuated from the master bedroom. Luxuria and Ax rushed to the master bedroom. Luxuria fiddled with the handle but it wouldn’t budge. 48

“It’s locked.” She panicked. Ax charged at the door, only to bruise his shoulder. He hit the wooden door several times and again it wouldn’t budge. 49

“KICK IT!” Luxuria demanded. Ax charged at the door and kicked the door down. The scene was definitely different than how he pictured it. There were no blood stains, no knives, and no bandanna covering his beloved’s mouth. Nisteria sat on top of a guy clad in only a leopard print g-string. Nisteria was dressed in a black leather corset and crotch-less, black, lace panties. You could see the erection the seduced had. And you could see his erection poking Nisteria’s vulva. 50

Ax stood there with his jaw hitting the ground and Luxuria standing next to him with her hand covering her mouth. 51

“HOW IN THE HELL CAN YOU BE SCREWING MY TWIN BROTHER SUPERBIA?” Luxuria Shouted. Nisteria got off of her sexual prisoner, pushed Ax out of the way and stood face to face with Luxuria.52

“I’m not the only one with Greed in my blood, LUXURIA!” 53

A contest entry

Completed Edition of Luxuria. I think I did better than expected. What do you think? 7 deadly sins option. lust, greed, and envy are big attributes in here

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
    Ratings:

Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • DogsLookUp silver member
    August 27
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    Very unique idea and characters! A breath of fresh air when it comes to the erotic genre.
    I'm impressed, hun.

    Sin


  • hllykat
    December 29, 2007

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    love it! greed, envy, lust, AND revenge! what a combination! it flowed well and was easy to read, even with so much going on. nice work. thanks for entering, and good luck!


  • RxxSpiritWolfxxJ
    December 20, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Quite good, but you should pay attention to third-person/first-person stuff. Story's good, though.


  • UnicornGargoyle
    December 17, 2007

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    Okay

    I don't like how it starts. It doesn't seem like there's any really interesting story going on. It just seems like it starts but there's nothing behind it or anything.

    Also, some of it is in first person and some in third. You might want to go through and check where you switched so you can make it all consistent.

    There wasn't much of a back story, like why Luxuria would betray her friend like that.

    I liked how the names weren't typical names you'd find everywhere and were somewhat rare.


  • ShezUnique
    November 23, 2007

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    In the beginning I took it that Luxuria was a bit jealous of her friend Nisteria...hummm but as things began to unfold...Nisteria was the one who had been hiding in the closet so to speak...she had Ax fooled ...but I guess as one would say...Never judge a book by it's cover...I found this reading very interesting...twisted but heated with passion..which was good...
    ShezUnique

    beginning: 4.


  • whichcraft Greeters member
    November 2, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    I thought the story was good but it had too much dialogue that was distracting. It had an even amount of storyline and sensuality. Good luck in the Turn Me On contest.


  • Rini
    October 21, 2007

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    Okay, I have to agree with xxxWhisper-Sorrowxxx. This would sound a lot better if you would just change so that the perspective remains the same. It's just distracting. Overall I liked the plotline.


  • xxxWhisper-Sorrowxxx
    October 20, 2007

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    I really really liked this. The only thing I had a problem with is how it changed from third to first person. If you had separate paragraphs when you did this maybe it would not have looked accidental. You did it in some cases but not in the beginning.
    I liked the plot and descriptions, though.


  • Noominimeg
    September 3, 2007

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    Good story

    I really enjoyed this story. The pace was very good as well as the flow, kinda. I found the switching between first and third person a bit confusing. There wasn't any transition and it didn't seen right the first time I came across the switch, which made me read it again to make sure I'd read it correctly. And I didn't get the ending references to Avaritia and Invidia...? Who are they and why are they significant to the ending? Or, did I miss something along the way. Sorry, I was confused.

    Other than that, I enjoyed the story. Good job.

  • cayuck
    August 14, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    Sexy story. Really intriguing characters and a nice fast flow. I enjoy pieces like this one.


  • Blood13Rayne
    June 11, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    lol
    awesome!
    naughty and sweet!
    i loved this story
    how u continued it on the same page. it was real ballin!!


  • sodancewithsoda silver member
    June 10, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Hahaha, naughty is this about the friend you told me and blu about? (kidding! )

    Naughty, naughty, naughty I honestly have a lot of opinions about the deeds done, but then, haha, I'm a very opinionated person and.. I value friends I have very few real AND trusted ones so I won't do what Luxuria did to Nisteria (is blu trying to kill me with the names? x.x I can't memorize all these x.x) but yeah.. some people don't and it's fun that people are so different - monotony sucks big time

    I don't get the deal why people and society in general repress humans when we are naturally sexual creatures. I'm not promoting promiscousness but yeah, relationships would need a bit of OOMPH (haha ) so I guess I understand why Ax did that (plus the fact that men DO feel the constant need to spread their seed)

    lol the bikinis here sound like the ones you bought!
    I'd love for this to be revamped and proofread the litle errors shall be kicked off and the piece perfect-ized! Gluck with the contest


  • bedovich
    June 10, 2007

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    rip rip hooraywonderfull just wonderful its good how you made it into parts and the flow just adds the finishing touches the names as well LUXURIA just great

  • sheluvzyou
    June 9, 2007
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    i love this !


  • Blurith
    June 9, 2007

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    Woo, lol

    Good things:

    That was certainly a great use of the sin lust, and the revenge at the end was a great twist (although I honestly expected something like to happen, lol). Still, she got Ax back good, AND with Luxuria's twin bro, oh my.

    Your descriptions most of the time were really excellent, the bra/panty trail was very creative (although I wonder what other patrons thought with underwear hiding around) and the sex scene was quite the head turner (submitting this to playboy? haha)

    'Back to virginal unmarital bliss' was a funny line, made me laugh.

    Random thoughts (take what you want from it):

    I thought Luxuria initially was a great character, but she kind of faded a bit into the backdrop by the ending. Nisteria was rather immature at times, but I guess her 'bf' cheated on her, so she was clearly upset. Still like a teenage drama though, lol. And Ax... oh boy, he was a little strange, wasn't he? Cheats on his gf, then has a jealous rage trying to kick down doors hours later. I guess thats realistic in a way, as guys can be that way sometimes.

    The last line, although I know what you were trying to accomplish with it, confused me a bit. Made everyone seem like some big drama family (because you used character names instead of just saying greed and envy). If Luxuria is related to Superbia and Superbia is having sex with Nisteria... yet Nisteria and Luxuria both have Avaritia and Invidia in their blood. See the incest connection here?

    - Also, why are they all in this hotel? Why is Superbia, Luxuria, Nisteria and AX there? This isn't essential to the story, and I am by no means saying you should include why, I just can't help wondering these types of things sometime


    Bad things:


    "She wanted to prove he could do so much more, but one who gives must get something in return."

    (she wanted to prove SHE could do much more...)

    "Ax thought his girlfriend but to his surprise it something much worse!"

    ('thought' doesn't make sense there)

    Overall I didn't catch many mistakes in grammar/spelling, at least nothing that threw off the flow anyway.

    ---

    Overall, it was an entertaining read and a good write. You followed the rules of the contest by using character names, and you incorporated some of the sins quite well into your piece.







  • LostShadow silver member
    June 9, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Very nicely written. Its good to read it all together and be allowed to comment at last.
    I liked the whole flow of it all even though it was quite fast paced.

    It was a good story, and you did well.

    Keep up the great work

    Em

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