Do you want to be the murderer?
The sun that dawned before.
Do you want to fight the burning night?
The blood that stains the floor.
Do you want to see the destined dream?
The night of endless grief.
Do you want to hold her in your arms?
The wind that raised the leaf.
Do you want to kiss her sweet, sweet lips?
The knife behind your back.
Do you want to live this fantasy?
The glass, don't let it crack.
Do you want to never leave her?
Quick, poison the wine.
Do you want to stay in her embrace?
Send spastic shivers down her spine.
Do you want to trace her beautiful face?
Let the massacre begin.
Do you want to take her hands in yours?
Tonight you’ll have to win.
Do you want to love her forever more?
Feel the cold of death on her skin.
Do you want to keep her safe from harm?
Let the screaming rise within.
Do you want to say, “I love you,”?
Accidentally cut her wrist.
Do you want to never end this?
Let the pain inside persist.
Do you want to give yourself to her?
Too late you won’t behave.
So you’d better just forget it now,
She’s ready for her grave.
A contest entry
- The Oscars 2009 - Best Poem by The Oscars Team.
700 points, ended July 22, 5 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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This story/poem is hereby officially accepted as a nomination for the SW Oscars. Congratulations on your nomination! You will be notified [via IM] to submit this story in its specific category when the contest opens. Congratulations, once again! Keep up the excellent work!
Admin
SW Oscars -
! O.O A-M-Z-I-N-G-N-E-S-S!!!!!!! I so loved the ryhme shecm and the flow! The poionts and emotions in this just over flow! It's palpable and simply amazingly done ^.^ The words creat a sad but beautiful flow of words. I love how your symbolisom is too! ^.^ Nicely done ^.^
♥ Blackwings
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its really deep... i like that in your poems
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Wow. I love how you take two different ideas and make them flow together. It could be viewed as though they are separate, or also as one. I like this. There's so much feeling. Good job ^^
x Julez -
Wow. Rhymes reaLLY GOOD. YOU SHOULD BE A FAMOUS POET
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o0o0o0o.....!!! you're good...people here are so talented...people rite such great poems...urs was simply marvelous....it was really hard to understand it at first..since im so goofy...but at the end i got it all...its really great!!! great great great!
ending: 5.
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I was actually singing this as I read it =P
This would make a great song! =D
Hehe, I love the content of this one!
Very, very well done!
One of the best poems I've read here for ages, with very well done flow and rhyme! =D
Extremely well done! Going straight into my bookmarks! =)
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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I'd fix the line spacing.
when posting poetry don't click fix line spacing or it'll do this.
breaking it into stanza's will iprove the flow of the piece too. adding emphasis to each section.
The wording in the first 2 lines is awkward. the punctuation is off on this.
you ask questions, then answer them but put the question marks on the answers.
If you read every other line it tells it's own story, well done on this.
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That was great! The idea was cool and the poem was very interesting and written well. Awesome piece.
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