The sky was a mosaic of pinks, reds and oranges as the Sun set and night took over. Serena watched as the Moon and stars took over the sky, reveling in their mysterious light. Her silver hair shimmered with the starlight, and her blue eyes sparkled as she walked through the sleepy town. Dressed in a long black skirt, red bodice and black cloak, passersby merely regarded her as a wandering gypsy, but they had no idea. Serena Turner was no random girl, she was Lunari, a daughter of the Moon, one of three, and though she looked lost, she knew exactly where she was going. She walked defiantly, ignoring the other evening travelers, until a young man crossed her path.
"Excuse me, madamoiselle, but you appear lost. May I help you to your destination?" he asked in a suave, conceited voice.
"I beg your pardon? I have no idea what would have given you that impression, but I know exactly where I am going," Serena replied, pushing him away. She could tell right away that he was not the type of person who was used to getting rejected by women. He looked like every girls "prince charming", wavy gold hair, shocking blue eyes, tall and muscular, but she could tell that in the brain department, he was lacking.
"I insist," he said, surprised at her answer.
"And I reject. Thank you, but I know this town well and cannot waste my time talking to someone."
"Madamoiselle..."
"Good evening sir," she replied, turning down an alley before he could respond. She smiled to herself, he had been handsome enough, but that conceited attitude would force her to kill him eventually. If she didn't, she knew her sisters would, those two hated that type more than she did. It still amazed her that they ran the world.
Finally, she reached her destination, a small, unknown inn, 'The Eclipse'. Opening the door, she was immediately met by a familiar face. The dark eyes and hair enhanced the exotic features and contrasted Serena's fair features.
"Good evening, Nirva."
"Serena! Finally, what took you so long?" Nirva asked, throwing her arms around the other girls neck.
"Oh, I met a man. He offered me an escort."
"Any redeeming qualities?"
"Does perfect teeth count? Other than that there was nothing."
"Ah, the "prince charming" type?"
"Exactly. Where is Karina?"
"In the other room. It's good to see you again, sister."
The two women entered the lounge area where they were greeted by a third woman whose red hair and green eyes glittered in the firelight. She rose immediately from her seat as the other entered the room.
"Serena, at last! It has been too long, sister."
"I know, Karina, I know, but at last, we are together again. My best friends, my sisters, we have much to talk about."
"As is always the case, Serena."
"So tell me, Nirva, are you the pirate princess I've been hearing so much about from my gypsy friends on the coast?"
"I am, Serena. Not only is it fun to watch people writhe in fear at my feet, but it keeps me informed as to the movements of the Others on the sea. How is the fortune-telling business, Serena?"
"Well, it is always fun to see people react when I tell them things about their life that is common knowledge, and have them pay me for it."
"That seems inethical, Serena," Karina said.
"It's about as inethical as pricacy, wouldn't you agree Nirva?"
"She has a point, Karina."
"I suppose."
"What about you, Karina, what are you up to?"
"Unlike you two, I've been spending my time making people happy. I run a library in the capital, teaching the children to read and write."
"Really? How do you keep that little operation running then? Don't lie, Karina, we both know."
"Well, I have to say the father's can be very generous at times, ladies."
"Ah, now who is the ethical one?" Serena laughed at her hypocritical friend.
"I guess we aren't the prim little princesses Antonin hoped for," Nirva laughed.
"You're right, Nirva. Honestly, sometimes I think that the next time I hear your names it will be that you were either killed or arrested," a male voice said from the doorway. The three women turned around to face the speaker. He was tall and thin, with light brown hair, grey eyes and thick-rimmed glasses resting on his nose. He looked like the scholar he was.
"Antonin!" the girls said, running over and hugging him.
"Thank you ladies, thank you. Sit, sit, we have some catching up to do. Nirva, my pirate princess, Serena, my fortune-teller, and Karina, my... ahem... librarian. Let me look at the three of you, you've all grown to be such beautiful women."
"Let's get through all the nostalgia, Antonin, I know there's a reason you've called us here," Nirva said.
"She's right. The Lunari aren't called up for reunions, Antonin. What's going on?" Serena said, staring at him.
"Ah, you're sharp. Yes, you were called back for a reason. It seems the Prince has disappeared. The King and Queen are afraid that he has been kidnapped by spies from a neighboring country, apparently a fabric only found there was discovered in his room."
"No. It's too simple," Karina said.
"Which is why they need the Lunari. There is more to this than meets the eye, ladies. You must solve this, and you only have a month to do it, until the next full Moon. That is your time frame. A carriage will be by tomorrow to bring the three of you to the palace. You do not have names, you do not have identities, you are merely the Lunari, nothing more, nothing less. Good luck, my girls, you'll need it for this one."
"Antonin, we know the process."
"This is your first real mission, ladies. Your predecessors never had anything of this caliber, even at their final breaths. May the Moon bless you." With that he was gone, leaving the trio alone to catch up and plan a course of action.
"Well ladies, I believe this is the first time I have ever heard of a pretty Prince in distress," Serena whispered.
"At last it isn't a Damsel in Distress. I love my job," Nirva laughed.
"So, what's the plan? How do we save our Knight in Shining Armor?" Karina laughed. The other two laughed along with her, not knowing that a pair of eyes was watching their every move.
"Excuse me, madamoiselle, but you appear lost. May I help you to your destination?" he asked in a suave, conceited voice.
"I beg your pardon? I have no idea what would have given you that impression, but I know exactly where I am going," Serena replied, pushing him away. She could tell right away that he was not the type of person who was used to getting rejected by women. He looked like every girls "prince charming", wavy gold hair, shocking blue eyes, tall and muscular, but she could tell that in the brain department, he was lacking.
"I insist," he said, surprised at her answer.
"And I reject. Thank you, but I know this town well and cannot waste my time talking to someone."
"Madamoiselle..."
"Good evening sir," she replied, turning down an alley before he could respond. She smiled to herself, he had been handsome enough, but that conceited attitude would force her to kill him eventually. If she didn't, she knew her sisters would, those two hated that type more than she did. It still amazed her that they ran the world.
Finally, she reached her destination, a small, unknown inn, 'The Eclipse'. Opening the door, she was immediately met by a familiar face. The dark eyes and hair enhanced the exotic features and contrasted Serena's fair features.
"Good evening, Nirva."
"Serena! Finally, what took you so long?" Nirva asked, throwing her arms around the other girls neck.
"Oh, I met a man. He offered me an escort."
"Any redeeming qualities?"
"Does perfect teeth count? Other than that there was nothing."
"Ah, the "prince charming" type?"
"Exactly. Where is Karina?"
"In the other room. It's good to see you again, sister."
The two women entered the lounge area where they were greeted by a third woman whose red hair and green eyes glittered in the firelight. She rose immediately from her seat as the other entered the room.
"Serena, at last! It has been too long, sister."
"I know, Karina, I know, but at last, we are together again. My best friends, my sisters, we have much to talk about."
"As is always the case, Serena."
"So tell me, Nirva, are you the pirate princess I've been hearing so much about from my gypsy friends on the coast?"
"I am, Serena. Not only is it fun to watch people writhe in fear at my feet, but it keeps me informed as to the movements of the Others on the sea. How is the fortune-telling business, Serena?"
"Well, it is always fun to see people react when I tell them things about their life that is common knowledge, and have them pay me for it."
"That seems inethical, Serena," Karina said.
"It's about as inethical as pricacy, wouldn't you agree Nirva?"
"She has a point, Karina."
"I suppose."
"What about you, Karina, what are you up to?"
"Unlike you two, I've been spending my time making people happy. I run a library in the capital, teaching the children to read and write."
"Really? How do you keep that little operation running then? Don't lie, Karina, we both know."
"Well, I have to say the father's can be very generous at times, ladies."
"Ah, now who is the ethical one?" Serena laughed at her hypocritical friend.
"I guess we aren't the prim little princesses Antonin hoped for," Nirva laughed.
"You're right, Nirva. Honestly, sometimes I think that the next time I hear your names it will be that you were either killed or arrested," a male voice said from the doorway. The three women turned around to face the speaker. He was tall and thin, with light brown hair, grey eyes and thick-rimmed glasses resting on his nose. He looked like the scholar he was.
"Antonin!" the girls said, running over and hugging him.
"Thank you ladies, thank you. Sit, sit, we have some catching up to do. Nirva, my pirate princess, Serena, my fortune-teller, and Karina, my... ahem... librarian. Let me look at the three of you, you've all grown to be such beautiful women."
"Let's get through all the nostalgia, Antonin, I know there's a reason you've called us here," Nirva said.
"She's right. The Lunari aren't called up for reunions, Antonin. What's going on?" Serena said, staring at him.
"Ah, you're sharp. Yes, you were called back for a reason. It seems the Prince has disappeared. The King and Queen are afraid that he has been kidnapped by spies from a neighboring country, apparently a fabric only found there was discovered in his room."
"No. It's too simple," Karina said.
"Which is why they need the Lunari. There is more to this than meets the eye, ladies. You must solve this, and you only have a month to do it, until the next full Moon. That is your time frame. A carriage will be by tomorrow to bring the three of you to the palace. You do not have names, you do not have identities, you are merely the Lunari, nothing more, nothing less. Good luck, my girls, you'll need it for this one."
"Antonin, we know the process."
"This is your first real mission, ladies. Your predecessors never had anything of this caliber, even at their final breaths. May the Moon bless you." With that he was gone, leaving the trio alone to catch up and plan a course of action.
"Well ladies, I believe this is the first time I have ever heard of a pretty Prince in distress," Serena whispered.
"At last it isn't a Damsel in Distress. I love my job," Nirva laughed.
"So, what's the plan? How do we save our Knight in Shining Armor?" Karina laughed. The other two laughed along with her, not knowing that a pair of eyes was watching their every move.
Author notes
STRONGHOLD
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is just the first part if a story I began writing a little while ago, but haven't looked at until this contest reminded me. I'm going to be expanding it later, maybe even adding a prologue to explain a history I haven't created yet. I hope you like it =)
A contest entry
- Not your average princess (A contest for anti-heroes) by Unpredictable Lover.
210 points, ended August 1, 2007, 11 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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wow I was entranced by the beginning. the description of the sun is breath taking. I have never heard it been described as a mosaic before. very original.
I agree that you may have rushed the beginning and have included too many characters at one time.
just a little advice draw out her long walk home
tap in to serina's thoughts
set the scene and her destination before she eneters
and try to introduce the characters before serina actually meets them if you see what i mean than it wont feel too jam packed.
I think it is a fantastic beginning and cant wairt to read more.
i want to know who the pair of eyes belong to!! however if they are a shocking blue I can guess who the eyes might belong to XD
an excellent start please keep it up.

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yeah, i see your point... i wrote it a while ago... well, started it a while ago, and posted it to get just this kind of feedback.
I will definately look more into all of that and change it all. Thanks for your advice, I will definately remember it when I rewrite it.
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You have a great story going on here
for a while, I thought it was a Sailor Moon fanfic (Serena and moon, lol
sorry about that *points my current name* x.x). I'm glad to see you've made a deeper story and something that sort of links fantasy and realism 
One gripe though - I felt that you introduced too many characters here x.x But it's okay, not really a big deal since I still was able to follow the story
Good luck with the contest ^_^ -
"I am Serena." That should have a comma between "am" and "Serena"...I think...otherwise it looks as though she is introducing herself as Serena.
I really like this a lot. I am a big fan of the Moon and her children. I found a name I rather like that means "Child of the moon". It is Amaris. Isn't it pretty? -giggles- Anyway, good job on this my friend, very nice ^.^ -
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ooops. thanks, I'll change that. Thanks.
Ohhhh, that is a nice name... hmmm... I may steal that for another character I have for the next chapter, I hope you don't mind. =) Thanks for the comment. =)
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