Love

Love, it is weird the way someone can just fall in-love. I don't understand it. I hate it! Love is nothing. It's just something that people believe in. But you believe in it. And that makes me want to believe in it, but I just can't do that.1

Every day at lunch I see you at the table with your friends and I wonder who or what you and your friends are laughing at. Then I think it is me. And I just go back to writing my poems. That night I go to my room and get online and I see that you are online. But I just ignore it. I go to a message board and put the poems I wrote at lunch on it.2

People instant message me and email me to tell me how great of a writer I am. You get off and I am relieved about that, but then I hear some girls talking about someone. You come up and start talking to them right in front of my door. One of the girls opens my door and sees what I had written and she calls you and the other girls in my room. She reads it aloud. When she finishes you and the rest of the kids start to laugh. I get mad, but I don't show it. 3

I think you realize how angry I was the other night and you start to talk about it at lunch that day. The worse thing is that you downloaded the poem i wrote and printed it in the school newspaper. Everybody read it. You don't care who hurt. You don't know what it is like to have people laugh at you. But I do.4

At lunch is when everybody reads it and you read it aloud. You finish and everybody starts looking around to see who wrote it, then you say my name. The entire school looks at me including you and you don't care. I ran out and go to my room. I lock the door. I get online and start to write another poem. I hear voices coming up the stairs and stop in front of my door.5

To your surprise you realize that I locked the door. One of your friends tell me to open the door. But I don't. I just keep writing another poem. After a while you realize that I am not going to open the door so you all go to your rooms. I keep my door locked. The poems I am writing are about LOVE.6

"LOVE"7

What is this thing called Love?8

I have never heard of it before.9

Nobody care to love me. All I want is to be loved.10

PLEASE LOVE ME SOMEONE!11

I put that on the message board and the next day at lunch it too is in the school newspaper. This goes on for 4 months. Andd every day at lunch I run back to my room and write a new poem. On the first day of the fifth month at lunch there was nothing about a poem, but to my horror the president of the school, which happens to be you, makes an announcement.12

You say tell the entire school where to go to get all of my poems. I was the first one out of the cafeteria and i go to my room and lock the door. I get online and delete all of my poems that I have on the internet. i have everything on my computer so no one else can read them. When one of your friends tell you that I deleted them all you come up to my room and scream at me through the door.13

I shut down my computer and come out of my room and lock the door. You and the rest of the school see me coming down the stairs. I go back to the cafeteria and sit downat one of the tables and I have a grin on my face. To my surprise you come up to me and before you say anything I tell you someting.14

I say,"You will never know what is like to be made fun of." You look at me like I am a bug that you want to squaah and then I start to scream.15

I start screaming at you. You start screaming at me. And then I stop screaming and hear something you say. The entire school hears what you say and I go to my room and sign online and write something so depressing that all the girls in the school start to cry. You come to my room and ask why i wrote that but I'm not there. I am in the office. You hear my voice on the PA system.16

I tell the entire school the poem I wrote. And once again I had all the girls in the school crying. You come up to me the next day and ask me loud enough for everyone in the cafeteria to hear what you ask me. You ask me why did I tell the entire school th poem.17

You seem shocked by my answer. I tell you that the only reason I write what I write is because of you. You don't seem to believe it but it is true.18

In the last 2 months of school, I write an email to you and to tell you how you have treated me and to tell you that the next day is the last day you will see me. I tell you you my feelings for you and why I am going to kill myself. The next day comes around and I check my email in the morning.19

I see an email from you. You want to take me to the prom, but I write you back telling you that the only reason you want to take me is so that you and your friends can make fun of me.20

I email you the letter I wrote. Then I kill myself. You come running to my room and I have it locked. You burst it open. You see me hanging and you find something to cut the rope. You rushed me to the hospital and told them what happened. They tell you that you saved my life. You come into my hospital room and sit by my bed. You don't leave my side until I wake up. When I do wake up, I see you sleeping in the chair. You wake up and see me awake. I ask you where am I and you tell me in the hospital. I start to get angry at you and ask you why. The doctor comes in and tells me that I have a disease.21

You are shocked or sad. I couldn't tell. Before he says anything else, I tellhim that I know. You look at me and you leave. A few days later I'm back at school. You email me, but you never come by. I know you are angry with me. I want to tell you face to face. But I can't do that because you won't come to my room.22

On parents day while everybody is downstairs telling their parents what happened to me, you come to my room. You ask me to unlock my door and I do. You come in. When I start to tell you when I found out about my disease, your girlfriend comes looking for you. My door is locked so she can't look in.23

She sounds angry. When she leaves, you leave. I can hear you two talking while ya'll are going down the stairs. I open my door and look down stairs. You look up and see me. I turn around and go to my room.24

I start writing another poem. I put it on the internet. And your girlfriend is trying to find the website. I go to a different message board and post this poem. It to is about love. But this one is different. It is about true love not finding its love. She finds the poem and reads it aloud. I can hear her. She reads my name. Everybody starts laughing. Your parents are here, you leave them to come check on me.25

I don't know why, but I tell you that I love you more than I ever have.26

You tell me the same thing. Your girlfriend comes up and opens my door. She has the biggest surprised face on. She starts screaming at me. I just lay on my bed and fall into a concussion.27

You turn to me and see me. You pick me up and take me to the hospital. Once again I am in a hospital bed with you next to me. You leave and your parents come in. They tell me to stay away from you. I tell them that true love can't be hidden. They just said that my feelings better be hidden from you.28

When you come back to the room you are surprised to see them there and you come over to me. They leave and you ask me what they wanted, so I told you. You asked me something that you never would have asked me if we were the last two people alive.29

You said not to joke like that. You asked me to marry you. I said yes. You broke the news to your parents, they didn't like it very much. But I didn't care. They told me that this should have never happened. We get married and I live for a short amount of time.30

I then wake up from my dream. I write this on my computer and my note. I go to school. I go back to my room and hang myself. This was not the way I wanted to end my life, but I had no choice. I loved you, but I knew in only a dream could we be together. I loved you. But I never told you the way I feel about you until my death.