Lover's Prelude-Chapter 6

It was Friday. 24  hours til  Girls Night out  and Diana  was  bursting  with excitement. She thought about Jimmy and the best way  to make  a good first impression on him if she  were to meet him. Maybe after No Man's Land had finished their set  she'd work up enough nerve to go up and talk to him. With each thought of Girls  night out she grew more anxious for the  weekend. Friday  was the day in English  where the whole period was devoted to Creative Writing.  Dianna pulled out her   Creative writing notebook and spent 10 mintues writing nature haikus. After those 10 minutes she  flipped to the  section marked Private and wrote yet anoter poem about how she felt about Jimmy. 1

The poem is as follows2

So powerful you look3

struming on your 4

red electric  gutiar5

you are my shining star6

and I admire your prowess7

She closed her creative writing notebook and looked at the clock 'Msybe I work on my precalc  homework a little bit so i don't have so much to do over the weekend, yup sound like a good plan.' She pulled out her precalc binder and her calculator and began to immerse herself in my magical world of precalc equations.   U.S. History and Biology  seemed to drag on for ever and ever. Then finally   the final bell rang and school was out for the weekend.  Dianna joined the flow of her fellow  classmates as they  headed toward the busses.  Dianna  climbed aboard her bus, grabbed her  regular seat and closed her eyes. Her overbearing excitement for tomorrow night's events  combined with all the  stresses of the past week combined to make her  exhausted  she closed her eyes and fell asleep. When she woke up the  bus had pulled up to her stop. She gathered her stuff  and got off and walked the sgort distance from her house.   As soon as she opened the door to her house and greeted her mom who was sitting at  the kitchen table reading the newspaper and then she headed to her room to start her homework.   She put the radio on low and pulled out her biology  binder.  After being totally engrossed in  creatures that inhabit the intertidal zone    for about 10 minutes her focus directed immediaaatey to  Jimmmy  'Gosh, i sure hope he notices me.' 8

She went to bed that night happy and looking more foward to  girls night out than ever.9

What did you think? Please comment!

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have 0. (?) (Line numbers)
    Ratings:

Comments


  • February 28, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    Another good chapter. Not the best so far, but no bad at all. You have written enough to keep me interestested and therefore making me want to continue reading...

  • Samplette
    February 18, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    This chapter didn't read as smooth as the others, but it is still good. A little tweaking could make it better, but that's the choice of the author and just my opinion. The one line,"The poem is as follows" seems to be in the way. I don't think you need it because of the previous line. Still, just my opinion. If you do tweak this chapter, check the spelling typos as well.
    I am off to the next chapter...I think I am hooked.
    S♥m