***1
I am the fucking man.
My voice is an orgasm to the human ear.
There really is no word in any language to describe my greatness,
and if I try, the universe would just wither in torturous lust.
All are pitiful compared to my immaculate aura.
Nobody is even worth my autograph.
I refuse to have kids with any woman,
because half of my superior genes will be intertwined with inferior DNA.
Having Hercules with a mortal may have been fine with Zeus,
but Zeus is just a little bitch compared to me.2
Anyone who doubts my greatness shall be grind to shreds on my bulging abs.
But of course, no one would dare question my omniscience,
because they all know I am the fucking man too.3
***
Author notes
Anybody who disagrees with my opinion of myself is wrong and more inferior than those who agree.
- I can't get my mind off myself, but why would I?
- Vanity group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Why are you better than everyone else? by Melli.
230 points, ended January 11, 5 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
-
Haha wow
No wonder you are in vanity. That's like mega-hyper-ultra vain. No wonder you won that contest, its like the definition but more so. Good work capturing pure vanity with this.
-
Some Ego
Thank you for entering and good luck with the contest -
-
a joke based off a cocky character, not real life.
-
-
True,
But you forgot to mention your misshapen head...
Yrs.
Azaradelle. -
-
hahaha
This is really based off a character I write in my novel, otherwise I might have had to mention the misshapen head and *koff* herpes. The rest is probably true though
-
-
This was the funniest contest entry that I came across so far. Thanks for entering. Certainly grabbed my attention! Hilarious! Good luck. PS. A little too full of yourslef for my tastes...
-
-
haha no worries, you are much to young for me anyway
-
-
Lol very interesting hahaha
^_^!! Self praising! coughs* oh well not saying that I don't agree or anything but I will judge it from a storywriter viewpoint now coughs* WELL DONE haha you managed to capture my intrest and the descriptions that you've used is Superb hehe really a Nice piece done! Plus some self praising aura LOl! but all turned out well=D Keep it up!
-
Interesting
Haha. Well you love yourself, so thats good.
Thanks for entering =].
Very interesting though.
-
sheesh! well, we all know who likes themselves
this kinda reminds me of that prince charming from shrek 2 and 3
-
omg
this is so funny! I love that you put it in vanity. yo should put it under humor too. I love it (= "My voice is an orgasm to the human ear" -
-
-
Ohh, wow. It was quite interesting, that for sure. And it is defiantly true, I won't even think about dissagreeing. Is this about yourself? Well, great job! It held my interest, i really like it! haha
Keep writing!
-Melli<33 -
-
hahaha yup, it's about me
-
-
Wow, i would like to meet you someday. you are truely amazing.
-
-
lol, well if you do, watch out for my abs. They will get ya!
-
-
-
-
Wow, that was really odd, but in a good way. It held my interest that's for sure. Good job, and thanks for entering.
-
...Wow.
And yes, I am just now commenting this. Even though I've read it...
-
Haha this is fucking hillarious bro! But we all know I look better (Dont worry ladies theres plenty of me to go around) This work is so funny man !!!!
-Bro -
Funny!
Always gotta love a great sense of humor! lol!
-
Lol,sounds like your God character from MBD.
I like!
-
-
Flexius is the universe and appears everywhere, lol
-
-
woah, and I was called vain!!!! my word! will a goddess be a good vessel seed? you are the fucking man
-
-
A better vessel seed, but still sub par. lol!
-
-
One can do no better then a goddess
-
-
-
you got a big ego bro
-
Haha that seems as if it was easy for you to write
Very nicely written though
Keep writing
Em
-
LOL
I'm not a vanity member but i'm gonna comment anyways...I Like it lol! You can tell by your use of words that your just joking! but its makes you sound totally cocky lol Keep Writing
<3 Princess Peaches
-
wow this has got to be your best piece ever. i love it. wow! and yes you set the bar pretty high but i think i can jump it haha very good job!
Adding your comment:
1 - 29 of 29
