Pierce Falconidae rolled over in the bed, the woman beside him temporarily forgotten as his aggravation at his inability to have sex with her. Since he was mated to Aiden, and thanks to the bitch Fates, he would never be able to have sex with anyone but her as long as she lived, while she would be able to spread her body around to any male she wanted.1
Yes, he could please another female in other ways, but it held no real satisfaction for him, and that was all that mattered. In a couple days that would change, and once Pierce was free of being a mate of Aiden, he could make up for lost time. He sat up on the bed as the woman contently rolled over and slept. Oh, sure, she was satisfied, but he was impotent. 2
The door to the small bedroom swung open, and Pierce casually looked at the tall, blonde, good-looking males that stood there. “Right on time,” he said as he stood and pulled his clothes on. He didn’t care if he showed his body, and really didn’t care if a bunch of essentially dead Spathi Daimons saw it or not.3
He walked through them and out to the main cabin, then out the door and in to the night. He opened the door and stuck his head back in. “If you’re coming, then come. If not, then scurry on back through your bolt-hole,” he told them, then shut the door.4
~~~~~~~~~~~~5
“I have a question.”6
Savitar looked at Aiden as he heard the question in her brain, but waited for her to continue. “Which is?”7
“Why didn’t the Omegrion go after Pierce and his…fellow murders…?”8
“That’s a very good question.”9
“And the answer would be?”10
“One I am not willing to divulge at the moment.”11
Aiden turned with a sigh and flopping on to the couch. The Omegrion was the ruling council of the Were-Hunters that made all the laws that governed her people, and one representative from each branch of the Arcadian and Katagaria was sent to represent them all. Savitar had a position as sort of an overseer of the Omegrion, and Aiden was surprised that they hadn’t stepped in to hunt Pierce and his men down. 12
Then again, it didn’t really surprise her. Who would really care for a group of murdered avians when the rest of her species were too busy killing each other off.13
Savitar watched as she stared at some invisible spot on the floor. He actually cared about the murder of avians, but he could see the bigger picture and knew that stepping in when it first happened would prevent this current event from occurring. 14
Although, had the Omegrion acted at first, it would prevent the possible death of Aiden and the real threat of all that he knew being destroyed for good. Cosmic timelines were already mapped out, and if he did anything to stop this from happening, then it could spin things so completely out of control that even he couldn’t save it.15
“Do you surf?”16
Aiden looked at him like she was surprised he was still there. “Only on air currents.”17
He smiled slightly. He had to admit that she had a quick wit and subtle humor that he liked. “What kind of board would one use for that?”18
She smiled at him and shook her head. “You don’t have to stay with me. I’ll be fine.”19
Savitar sat on the arm of the chair, standing quickly when she gave him a warning glance, and switched to the couch instead. Usually, he would have completely ignored any warning given to him by anyone, but he could respect someone’s property. Besides, she needed to feel in control of something while all this craziness was going on, and he decided to let her have that little victory.20
“It’s all right,” he said. “I have no problem sticking around until Acheron comes back.” He held his hands out, palms up. “Anything in particular you wanted to do.”21
“I just want to go to bed,” she said, then turned red at the smirk he gave her. “I mean alone.”22
“I know,” he said kindly.23
“Not that you’re not good looking or anything,” she said quickly.24
“I know.” There wasn’t a trace of arrogance in his voice. “But since you bought it up,” he paused. “Well, actually you didn’t but I’m asking anyway. Why are you staying faithful to Pierce?”25
Aiden looked in to his violet eyes and handsome face, not really insulted that he asked. “Because I’ve yet to find someone that I want to sleep with.” 26
“Interesting.”27
“No, it’s not.”28
“To me it is,” he said as he leaned towards her, reached over her chest and grabbed the remote control off the end table. He peeked down her top as he returned to his side of the couch, and smiled inwardly. “I’m in the mood for some comedy. How about you?”29
“Anything but the nature channel,” she said with a touch of annoyance. “It’s like watching a home movie.”30
“Thought you wanted to go to bed…alone.”31
Her cheeks blushed pink for a moment. “The Three Stooges beats sleep any day.”32
~~~~~~~~~~~~~33
Aiden was curled up on the couch, sleeping with her feet on Savitar’s lap when Ash materialized in the living room. Savitar looked up from the movie, then motioned with his hand to turn it off. He gently lifted her feet off his legs, then slipped out from under and stood with a stretch. 34
“Thanks,” Ash said in a low voice. “Took a little longer than I thought it would.”35
Savitar waved his apology off with a casual flick of his hand. “It’s all cool. I’ve forgotten what it was like to actually just sit and watch a movie.” He glanced at the couch, then back at Ash, raising an eyebrow at the smirk Ash was giving him.36
“Knock it off, Acheron,” he said mildly. “And stop with the childish ‘sitting in a tree’ singing in your mind. You’re over eleven thousand years old.”37
“Sorry.”38
“Of course you’re not.” He sat on the arm of the chair, then slid down to the cushion.39
“Aiden already gave you the ‘don’t sit on the arm’ look, didn’t she?” His smirk grew as the other immortal ignored him. 40
Savitar shook his head in mock annoyance. In the entire universe, there was only one being who could get away with teasing him like that, and Acheron was it. If anyone else attempted it, Savitar would drop the easy going demeanor, and most likely kill the person on the spot. He sighed.41
“If you don’t need me here anymore, I’m going to head back home. I’ve got a board, a wave and a babe waiting, and I plan on riding all three, in no particular order.” He vanished as Ash gave a brief wave.42
~~~~~~~~43
Aiden stretched as she woke, and realized that she was on the couch. She thought that she might as well move her bed out here, since it was where she seemed to be doing most of her sleeping lately. 44
She realized that the apartment was quiet, and looked toward the patio doors. They were open, and that meant Ash was back. The man seemed to love spending all the time he could standing on her patio, just staring out at the city skyline.45
If Ash was back, then that meant Savitar had gone. She smiled as she thought about him, and how different he seemed to be from the legends she had heard. He was a mythical enigma, and no one, not even Ash, knew anything about him. 46
“Are you all right?” Ash’s voice filtered in through the door.47
“Yeah,” she replied back. Her mind suddenly switched to why Ash was here, and the worry and doubt started to creep its way back in to her mind. She stood and walked to the patio door, leaning against it.48
“Do me a favor?”49
Ash stood from looking out over the city, and came in from the patio. “If I can.”50
“If I die doing this…whatever it is, kill Pierce for me.”51
Ash stared at her. “If I can.”52
“You know what’s going to happen, don’t you?” She sighed when he continued to stare. “You can’t tell me because I’ll screw it up somehow.”53
“It’s not…”54
“No,” she held a hand up. “I understand. If you tell me I’ll live, then I’ll do something stupid, assuming that everything will be fine and I’ll mess up the cosmos.” She walked to the patio and looked over the edge. “If you tell me that I’m going to die, then I’ll do something either really stupid, or I’ll be too careful and I’ll mess up the cosmos.”55
“Something like that.”56
She smiled sadly. “How can you stand it?” she asked. “How can you keep yourself from slipping and trying to stop something?” 57
Images of Nick Gautier flashed through his brain. He had slipped up majorally that time, and had altered so many lives that even he couldn’t see the long term ramifications. He wasn’t about to make that same mistake twice, and would do everything in his vast power to make sure that this ended for Aiden the way it was suppose to. “You get used to it,” he finally said.58
Aiden gave a concerned look at the pain that was in Ash’s eyes. She was going to say something about it when he turned away. “Ash? If you ever want to talk, you know I’ll listen.”59
“You’ve got enough to worry about,” he said as he shoved the pain down deep inside him. “Besides, it wouldn’t do anyone any good to hear, and harm too many people to know.” He turned, still not looking at her. “Im tired,” he said as he headed for the spare bedroom. 60
“I’m not angry anymore,” she said as he walked down the hall, causing him to pause outside the door. “Grant it, I’m still pissed at you for not telling me, but I understand why you couldn’t.”61
Ash clenched his jaw at her words. By rights, she should still be curing him out over this. He exhaled lightly. “I didn’t know when they were going to die,” he said without looking at her. He had been stuck with Artemis when it happened, which may have been a good thing since he would have been tempted to step in.62
“Okay,” she whispered. “Just… If I die doing this…whatever it is… please don’t add it to your worries. I want to be remembered with a smile, not tears.”63
He stood still for a few moments, then went in to the bedroom. “Simi.” The demon removed herself from his body and appeared before him. “Stay here with Aiden,” he told her. “I’ll be back in a few hours.”64
Simi blinked as he immediately left, then she walked out of the bedroom. “Simi hungry.”65
Aiden smiled slightly. “Let’s go out for a bite.”66
“Akri said to stay here with you.”67
Crap. “Where did Ash go?”68
Simi shrugged. “He just poffed away.”69
~~~~~~~~~70
Ash paced through his bedroom in Katoteros, as he tried to think. “Tell her, she dies, don’t tell her and she dies….” He stopped with a sigh. His cell phone rang, and he grabbed at it. “What?!” He closed his eyes. “Sorry…” he apologized. 71
“Just letting you know that Simi and I are going to the diner on the corner,” Aiden told him.72
“No.”73
“I wasn’t asking permission,” she said and hung up.74
His eyes flashing red, he teleported to the alley behind Aiden’s building, then hurried around the corner in time to see the two of them walking in to the diner. He sauntered to the door, entered and slid easily into the booth beside her. 75
“I asked you not to leave your apartment,” he said with a smile as he picked up a menu and started to read.76
“You didn’t ask, you told,” Aiden corrected him. “Had you asked, then I would still be there.”77
“Simi’s hungry,” Simi stated. “Aiden and Akri argue after food.” She blew them a raspberry as the waitress showed up. “Everything, please.”78
“Don’t forget the barbecue sauce,” Aiden added as the waitress gave them a wary look. “I’ll just have a coffee and cheesecake.” She looked at Ash. 79
“I’m still full from earlier,” he lied. “Just a beer, whatever you got.” He waited until the waitress left, then looked at Simi. “You were suppose to keep Aiden at her place.”80
Simi blew him a rather long raspberry, then ignored him to stare at the pictures lining the diner walls.81
He sighed in exasperation, then turned his attention back to the woman beside him. “This is too important for you to play around with.”82
“Really?” she asked. “Gee Ash, maybe if I knew why it was important then I might be inclined to sit on my perch and wait to be plucked.”83
“I can’t…”84
“You can’t tell me,” she finished for him. “Fine…” She glanced out the window. “Tell me though…is this suppose to happen tonight?”85
Ash followed her view, his mouth setting in a grim line at the group that was approaching the diner. All blonde, young and good looking, the group of about five was led by Pierce. “We have to go,” he said, then stopped at a NO! that echoed through his brain. 86
“Wait,” he said. Are you sure?
It has to be the voice replied.87
Ash looked at Aiden. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, then vanished along with Simi.88
Aiden closed her mouth then tried to teleport out, grimacing when she found that she couldn’t. The door opened and Pierce strode in. 89
“Acheron abandon you, did he?”90
Aiden stood slowly, ready to fight if need be. Trust me a voice in her head said, sounding vaguely like Savitar. She held her hand out as Pierce pulled a weapon from his jacket and pointed it at her. 91
She yelled as the electricity hit her, and she immediately reverted to eagle form, then back to human and back to eagle as unbelievable pain ran to every part of her body. She couldn’t use her powers and could feel tears stinging her cheeks as screams and screeching emitted loudly with every change. 92
The waitress who had witnessed the events fell slowly to the ground as the Daimon let her go, then he approached Aiden, and slapped a metriazo collar around her neck. Since the collar prevented her from using her magick, she remained in eagle form, but the pain still shot through her body.93
Pierce laid a hand on her arm, and teleported them both away.94
~~~~~~~~~95
Ash ran a hand over his face as he turned from the rooftop across the street. As soon as he had left the diner, he ordered Simi back to his body, then waited. He had almost interfered when he heard her scream in in pain, but knew anything he did could have far reaching results.96
“Why do they want her?”97
“If I tell you, then it will change too many futures.”98
Ash looked over his shoulder at Savitar. “And I thought I was the vague one.”99
“This is the way it has to be.” Savitar looked at the stars in the sky. “Each small event can echo into larger ones, and there are some things that you need to find out for yourself.”100
“Yeah, I kinda realized that over the past eleven thousand years.”101
Savitar gave him a searching look. “Can you trust yourself to do the right thing?”102
“I trust myself to do what I think is right.”103
“Vague is as vague does.”
Yes, he could please another female in other ways, but it held no real satisfaction for him, and that was all that mattered. In a couple days that would change, and once Pierce was free of being a mate of Aiden, he could make up for lost time. He sat up on the bed as the woman contently rolled over and slept. Oh, sure, she was satisfied, but he was impotent. 2
The door to the small bedroom swung open, and Pierce casually looked at the tall, blonde, good-looking males that stood there. “Right on time,” he said as he stood and pulled his clothes on. He didn’t care if he showed his body, and really didn’t care if a bunch of essentially dead Spathi Daimons saw it or not.3
He walked through them and out to the main cabin, then out the door and in to the night. He opened the door and stuck his head back in. “If you’re coming, then come. If not, then scurry on back through your bolt-hole,” he told them, then shut the door.4
~~~~~~~~~~~~5
“I have a question.”6
Savitar looked at Aiden as he heard the question in her brain, but waited for her to continue. “Which is?”7
“Why didn’t the Omegrion go after Pierce and his…fellow murders…?”8
“That’s a very good question.”9
“And the answer would be?”10
“One I am not willing to divulge at the moment.”11
Aiden turned with a sigh and flopping on to the couch. The Omegrion was the ruling council of the Were-Hunters that made all the laws that governed her people, and one representative from each branch of the Arcadian and Katagaria was sent to represent them all. Savitar had a position as sort of an overseer of the Omegrion, and Aiden was surprised that they hadn’t stepped in to hunt Pierce and his men down. 12
Then again, it didn’t really surprise her. Who would really care for a group of murdered avians when the rest of her species were too busy killing each other off.13
Savitar watched as she stared at some invisible spot on the floor. He actually cared about the murder of avians, but he could see the bigger picture and knew that stepping in when it first happened would prevent this current event from occurring. 14
Although, had the Omegrion acted at first, it would prevent the possible death of Aiden and the real threat of all that he knew being destroyed for good. Cosmic timelines were already mapped out, and if he did anything to stop this from happening, then it could spin things so completely out of control that even he couldn’t save it.15
“Do you surf?”16
Aiden looked at him like she was surprised he was still there. “Only on air currents.”17
He smiled slightly. He had to admit that she had a quick wit and subtle humor that he liked. “What kind of board would one use for that?”18
She smiled at him and shook her head. “You don’t have to stay with me. I’ll be fine.”19
Savitar sat on the arm of the chair, standing quickly when she gave him a warning glance, and switched to the couch instead. Usually, he would have completely ignored any warning given to him by anyone, but he could respect someone’s property. Besides, she needed to feel in control of something while all this craziness was going on, and he decided to let her have that little victory.20
“It’s all right,” he said. “I have no problem sticking around until Acheron comes back.” He held his hands out, palms up. “Anything in particular you wanted to do.”21
“I just want to go to bed,” she said, then turned red at the smirk he gave her. “I mean alone.”22
“I know,” he said kindly.23
“Not that you’re not good looking or anything,” she said quickly.24
“I know.” There wasn’t a trace of arrogance in his voice. “But since you bought it up,” he paused. “Well, actually you didn’t but I’m asking anyway. Why are you staying faithful to Pierce?”25
Aiden looked in to his violet eyes and handsome face, not really insulted that he asked. “Because I’ve yet to find someone that I want to sleep with.” 26
“Interesting.”27
“No, it’s not.”28
“To me it is,” he said as he leaned towards her, reached over her chest and grabbed the remote control off the end table. He peeked down her top as he returned to his side of the couch, and smiled inwardly. “I’m in the mood for some comedy. How about you?”29
“Anything but the nature channel,” she said with a touch of annoyance. “It’s like watching a home movie.”30
“Thought you wanted to go to bed…alone.”31
Her cheeks blushed pink for a moment. “The Three Stooges beats sleep any day.”32
~~~~~~~~~~~~~33
Aiden was curled up on the couch, sleeping with her feet on Savitar’s lap when Ash materialized in the living room. Savitar looked up from the movie, then motioned with his hand to turn it off. He gently lifted her feet off his legs, then slipped out from under and stood with a stretch. 34
“Thanks,” Ash said in a low voice. “Took a little longer than I thought it would.”35
Savitar waved his apology off with a casual flick of his hand. “It’s all cool. I’ve forgotten what it was like to actually just sit and watch a movie.” He glanced at the couch, then back at Ash, raising an eyebrow at the smirk Ash was giving him.36
“Knock it off, Acheron,” he said mildly. “And stop with the childish ‘sitting in a tree’ singing in your mind. You’re over eleven thousand years old.”37
“Sorry.”38
“Of course you’re not.” He sat on the arm of the chair, then slid down to the cushion.39
“Aiden already gave you the ‘don’t sit on the arm’ look, didn’t she?” His smirk grew as the other immortal ignored him. 40
Savitar shook his head in mock annoyance. In the entire universe, there was only one being who could get away with teasing him like that, and Acheron was it. If anyone else attempted it, Savitar would drop the easy going demeanor, and most likely kill the person on the spot. He sighed.41
“If you don’t need me here anymore, I’m going to head back home. I’ve got a board, a wave and a babe waiting, and I plan on riding all three, in no particular order.” He vanished as Ash gave a brief wave.42
~~~~~~~~43
Aiden stretched as she woke, and realized that she was on the couch. She thought that she might as well move her bed out here, since it was where she seemed to be doing most of her sleeping lately. 44
She realized that the apartment was quiet, and looked toward the patio doors. They were open, and that meant Ash was back. The man seemed to love spending all the time he could standing on her patio, just staring out at the city skyline.45
If Ash was back, then that meant Savitar had gone. She smiled as she thought about him, and how different he seemed to be from the legends she had heard. He was a mythical enigma, and no one, not even Ash, knew anything about him. 46
“Are you all right?” Ash’s voice filtered in through the door.47
“Yeah,” she replied back. Her mind suddenly switched to why Ash was here, and the worry and doubt started to creep its way back in to her mind. She stood and walked to the patio door, leaning against it.48
“Do me a favor?”49
Ash stood from looking out over the city, and came in from the patio. “If I can.”50
“If I die doing this…whatever it is, kill Pierce for me.”51
Ash stared at her. “If I can.”52
“You know what’s going to happen, don’t you?” She sighed when he continued to stare. “You can’t tell me because I’ll screw it up somehow.”53
“It’s not…”54
“No,” she held a hand up. “I understand. If you tell me I’ll live, then I’ll do something stupid, assuming that everything will be fine and I’ll mess up the cosmos.” She walked to the patio and looked over the edge. “If you tell me that I’m going to die, then I’ll do something either really stupid, or I’ll be too careful and I’ll mess up the cosmos.”55
“Something like that.”56
She smiled sadly. “How can you stand it?” she asked. “How can you keep yourself from slipping and trying to stop something?” 57
Images of Nick Gautier flashed through his brain. He had slipped up majorally that time, and had altered so many lives that even he couldn’t see the long term ramifications. He wasn’t about to make that same mistake twice, and would do everything in his vast power to make sure that this ended for Aiden the way it was suppose to. “You get used to it,” he finally said.58
Aiden gave a concerned look at the pain that was in Ash’s eyes. She was going to say something about it when he turned away. “Ash? If you ever want to talk, you know I’ll listen.”59
“You’ve got enough to worry about,” he said as he shoved the pain down deep inside him. “Besides, it wouldn’t do anyone any good to hear, and harm too many people to know.” He turned, still not looking at her. “Im tired,” he said as he headed for the spare bedroom. 60
“I’m not angry anymore,” she said as he walked down the hall, causing him to pause outside the door. “Grant it, I’m still pissed at you for not telling me, but I understand why you couldn’t.”61
Ash clenched his jaw at her words. By rights, she should still be curing him out over this. He exhaled lightly. “I didn’t know when they were going to die,” he said without looking at her. He had been stuck with Artemis when it happened, which may have been a good thing since he would have been tempted to step in.62
“Okay,” she whispered. “Just… If I die doing this…whatever it is… please don’t add it to your worries. I want to be remembered with a smile, not tears.”63
He stood still for a few moments, then went in to the bedroom. “Simi.” The demon removed herself from his body and appeared before him. “Stay here with Aiden,” he told her. “I’ll be back in a few hours.”64
Simi blinked as he immediately left, then she walked out of the bedroom. “Simi hungry.”65
Aiden smiled slightly. “Let’s go out for a bite.”66
“Akri said to stay here with you.”67
Crap. “Where did Ash go?”68
Simi shrugged. “He just poffed away.”69
~~~~~~~~~70
Ash paced through his bedroom in Katoteros, as he tried to think. “Tell her, she dies, don’t tell her and she dies….” He stopped with a sigh. His cell phone rang, and he grabbed at it. “What?!” He closed his eyes. “Sorry…” he apologized. 71
“Just letting you know that Simi and I are going to the diner on the corner,” Aiden told him.72
“No.”73
“I wasn’t asking permission,” she said and hung up.74
His eyes flashing red, he teleported to the alley behind Aiden’s building, then hurried around the corner in time to see the two of them walking in to the diner. He sauntered to the door, entered and slid easily into the booth beside her. 75
“I asked you not to leave your apartment,” he said with a smile as he picked up a menu and started to read.76
“You didn’t ask, you told,” Aiden corrected him. “Had you asked, then I would still be there.”77
“Simi’s hungry,” Simi stated. “Aiden and Akri argue after food.” She blew them a raspberry as the waitress showed up. “Everything, please.”78
“Don’t forget the barbecue sauce,” Aiden added as the waitress gave them a wary look. “I’ll just have a coffee and cheesecake.” She looked at Ash. 79
“I’m still full from earlier,” he lied. “Just a beer, whatever you got.” He waited until the waitress left, then looked at Simi. “You were suppose to keep Aiden at her place.”80
Simi blew him a rather long raspberry, then ignored him to stare at the pictures lining the diner walls.81
He sighed in exasperation, then turned his attention back to the woman beside him. “This is too important for you to play around with.”82
“Really?” she asked. “Gee Ash, maybe if I knew why it was important then I might be inclined to sit on my perch and wait to be plucked.”83
“I can’t…”84
“You can’t tell me,” she finished for him. “Fine…” She glanced out the window. “Tell me though…is this suppose to happen tonight?”85
Ash followed her view, his mouth setting in a grim line at the group that was approaching the diner. All blonde, young and good looking, the group of about five was led by Pierce. “We have to go,” he said, then stopped at a NO! that echoed through his brain. 86
“Wait,” he said. Are you sure?
It has to be the voice replied.87
Ash looked at Aiden. “I’m sorry,” he whispered, then vanished along with Simi.88
Aiden closed her mouth then tried to teleport out, grimacing when she found that she couldn’t. The door opened and Pierce strode in. 89
“Acheron abandon you, did he?”90
Aiden stood slowly, ready to fight if need be. Trust me a voice in her head said, sounding vaguely like Savitar. She held her hand out as Pierce pulled a weapon from his jacket and pointed it at her. 91
She yelled as the electricity hit her, and she immediately reverted to eagle form, then back to human and back to eagle as unbelievable pain ran to every part of her body. She couldn’t use her powers and could feel tears stinging her cheeks as screams and screeching emitted loudly with every change. 92
The waitress who had witnessed the events fell slowly to the ground as the Daimon let her go, then he approached Aiden, and slapped a metriazo collar around her neck. Since the collar prevented her from using her magick, she remained in eagle form, but the pain still shot through her body.93
Pierce laid a hand on her arm, and teleported them both away.94
~~~~~~~~~95
Ash ran a hand over his face as he turned from the rooftop across the street. As soon as he had left the diner, he ordered Simi back to his body, then waited. He had almost interfered when he heard her scream in in pain, but knew anything he did could have far reaching results.96
“Why do they want her?”97
“If I tell you, then it will change too many futures.”98
Ash looked over his shoulder at Savitar. “And I thought I was the vague one.”99
“This is the way it has to be.” Savitar looked at the stars in the sky. “Each small event can echo into larger ones, and there are some things that you need to find out for yourself.”100
“Yeah, I kinda realized that over the past eleven thousand years.”101
Savitar gave him a searching look. “Can you trust yourself to do the right thing?”102
“I trust myself to do what I think is right.”103
“Vague is as vague does.”
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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...*frowns* i have always thought that what Aceron and the other think about that destiny is already plan is wrong. Yopu make your own destiny no matter what, the things around you are place and is you who decided to make your destiny a good onw or a living hell


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I've never understood it, either. The characters are always on about 'free will', but then go on about how things are planned, and if a person does soemthing wrong, it changes that future.... and other things that would have been effected by that future get changed to match the new timeline.
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Ya know, I wonder what it would be like to never be able to have sex with anyone. Just that thought really does scare me!!


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ash says "i 'though' i was supposed to be the vague one" at the end instead of 'thought'
but goodness no! what the hell is going on! shes kiddnapped and he cant do anything? why was he even suppossed to stay with her if he cant protect her! arg! -
Savitar's lookin' down this chicklets top!
Aww.. but I think he likes her, so that's okay. (but he's still a perv for the wave/board/babe remark)
‘don’t sit on the arm’ look. HAHA! You got that from your mother, didn't you?!
what? what?! they took her? and the two did nothing about it?beginning: 4, plot: 5, ending: 4, characters: 5.
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Yes, yes, my mother does give a great "don't sit on the arm!" look that I borrowed for this.
And Savitar's no perv... he just doesn't give a
what others think.
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Since you wanted the typos pointed out...
In the first paragraph, in the first sentence you mixed up "him" with "his"... The whole sentence is kind of confusing, though I get it.
That's all I saw... I'm no English major or anything...
This was another great segment- one of my favorite parts being when Savitar told Ash to stop singing that melody in his head. It was a laugh out loud moment. I seem to be laughing alot these days... Any how, I'm very intrigued to see what happens to Aiden. I really hope she doesn't die. That kind of scared me, as I'm sure Ash doesn't feel good about it either. Have a good day!
MoonNight

beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Thanks! I tend to miss the simpliest grammatical errors, and have no problem with people pointing them out.
I'm glad you're enjoying the story, and hope to keep you intrigued right through to the end.
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If you find any typos, pleas point them out! My spellcheck is messed up n my computer, and the one onsite is crap. (plus, I'm too tried to proof read tonight)
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