My heart didn't break today.
From the beginning, I knew it was different. I never felt this way before--about anyone. The first time I thought that, I felt stupid about how cliche it sounded. But it made me happy. All of it--the stupidity, the feeling, him.
He didn't know. I didn't want him to. It probably would have ruined it. Nothing would come out of it--too many things were skewed. But I didn't truly believe that for a long time.
When I started to believe it, it wasn't because I wanted too. It's like the truth was infiltrating my brain, without permission. I fought it for a while and hung on--but eventually I lost. I think from the beginning I knew I would lose.
I was slowly figuring all of this out the whole time. I don't know if I'm done figuring it out but I'm ready to be.
My heart didn't break today. But today I realized it had been broken.
A contest entry
- : Make me cry. by Taylor Renee.
375 points, ended November 20, 2007, 31 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Something deep.... by LilPoopyPoops.
130 points, ended December 22, 2007, 5 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites (again) by potaytee.
150 points, ended December 27, 2007, 92 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - To My Valentine (Winner Takes All) by incondite.
100 points, ended January 31, 2008, 15 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - My Year by Houjin Xayd.
165 points, ended April 11, 2008, 6 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - MAKE ME DEPRESSED by Points Of View.
235 points, ended June 4, 2008, 52 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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i just reead this for the second time, and i dont remember reading it for a first time. good job :]
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I don't know what to say. I don't just want to leave a message like it was good. But i really have no idea what to say!
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i can relate to this a lot. i love how it ends, keeps you thinking. nice job
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Ahhh. . . . It's sort of sad, but she knew it was coming. Maybe it softened the blow, or maybe it made it just that much harder. I dont know, but what I do know is that I really loved this piece. Great job, I'm really starting to like your stories! Good luck with everything.
keep writing!!! -
Oh wow. I love that last line! So beautiful, and the title's great for it. This was such a sad story, but you carried it out beautifully
Weak points: It was a little confusing, on what you were talking about
Strong points: I think your vocabulary here was awesome, and you carried the emotion beautiful, and the last line was beautiful.
Nice work!
Thank you so much for entering, and good luck!!!
xoxo
Tay
PS: THIS IS BEE'S!?!?!?!?!?!??!?
I LOVE YOU BEE!!!
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Oh I like the title, and the last line, very nice.
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Lovely. Very perfect. You've got the gift of a poignant ending. This reads like a prose poem.
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WOW!
O WOW! You've got the skills, girl! This was so amazingly great and the descriptions were absolutely brilliant! (I keep on using 'brilliant' a lot these days..lol)..You had good flow and the feelings were all there!
I haven't read your stories for a while but all of them are great too. Btw..what's up? I haven't talked to you like forever!
Excellent work, Bee!
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great job bee. is your style changing? my best friend is getting so deep!
is this about who i think it is? he's so small (in EVERY way) i have to conciously NOT step on him.
"oh, oops, sorry little guy, ur so immature that i didn't even see ya there! well, maybe you will eventually scrape off my friend bee's shoes too, so she can forget about you!"
~your ever-helpful friend (who ALWAYS has good advice)
belowit
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awwww, this has emotion and, will it be a story? I really liked how you ended it!
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bee... who did this to you? I'll kick that person and... aww
I could relate, in a way - I was "broken" as well, and I did go through some tough heartaches
but hey, I bounced back up!
Great poem-story you have here - short but still deep (just watch out for the typos)
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