Rain and Smoke [part I]

It was raining. The air was cold and unforgiving in the post-autumn twilight. Cars sped by as I walked across the bridge; the traffic moved steadily forward. Looking up, I watched moon and stars play hide-and-seek among the clouds. As evening grew colder and the rain harder, I drew my hands into my pockets and doubled my pace. Hair soaked, clothes drenched, body saturated in the cold sting, I wished for absolutely nothing but a haven away from the perpetual drizzle.
This wasn’t the way I wanted it to be, but it’s not like I did anything to prevent it. I’ve grown so cynical in the past thirteen years, it’s almost sad. I’m always alone, always cold, and always firmly in reality so I could make snide remarks about it from the sidelines. I suppose I never really wanted to expect the pain that came with it. "It might as well be raining needles," I muttered under my breath with bitter reserve.
As I came upon the middle of Unity Bridge, a figure, a person swam into view. It stood on the edge of the bridge. I supposed it was looking at the freezing waters below and not dwelling on thoughts of suicide. It must have heard me coming over the traffic, because it looked right at me. Its piercing green eyes met with my own blue-gray ones, stopping me in my tracks. It was only standing a few feet away from me, and yet I still couldn't make out its face or whether it was a man or a woman. I walked closer to the figure, only to pass and make my way home.
"It's going to be a cold one tonight," it commented in a deep voice. My eyes widened at the sound.
"Y-yeah, it gets this way this time of year," I shivered. There was something about this man that seemed familiar. I couldn't place the voice or see his face, but there was something telling me that I could trust him. Perhaps the resounding tenor of his voice or the warmth that seemed to resonate from his words? Rain dripped from his long, black jacket and hood as I stood stunned before him.
"A lady like you shouldn't be wandering around alone at night," he said, never breaking eye-contact. It was unnerving at how soothing his voice was.
Those eyes…where have I seen those eyes before?
I shivered again, shaking my head, throwing ten million tiny crystalline beads from my hair. "This is how it's been for a long time…I suppose I've gotten used to the lack of company," I answered. He looked down at the freezing river below us and sighed.
I continued to walk across the bridge when suddenly there was a slow rumble echoing through the cold, rainy night. I brought my hand up to catch something to hold onto, but slipped and found myself hanging off the edge of the bridge. I thought I had fallen off and plunged to my death in the frigid water.
But I didn’t. Holding fast to my hand, he looked down at me with those venom eyes. "Give me your other hand!' he yelled. I raised my other hand toward him, grazing his gloved fingertips. I was shaking so violently that he couldn't grab it. My other hand was slipping out of his grip. I swallowed hard and looked down at the river.
"Don't let me go...please...I don't want to die tonight," I sobbed silently. The plea seemed almost pathetic between sobs.
I looked up into his eyes and closed mine tightly as I felt our hands break apart. "Diana!!" he screamed, arms open, hands trying to grab what was out of reach. I opened my eyes and looked up at him once more, almost catching a glimpse of his face.
It felt like I was falling forever, the same thought kept playing in my mind as if on a loop. How did he know my name? I closed my eyes and braced myself for the inevitable. When I opened them, I was in my bed, face-down in my pillow.
"So it was just a dream..." I picked my head off of the pillow and sighed. "...just a..." I ran a hand through my hair. It was still damp. My mind was racing. "It was…just a dream?" I thought, panting while my mind tried to catch up with my body. "How could that have been a dream?"
I yawned and shook my head, trying to think of something else, but the thought remained nevertheless. Exasperated, I dropped my head back onto my pillow and drifted in the middle-ground of reality and my dreams.
At least I thought it was my pillow. I thought it was my room...right down to the stark white walls and the soft grays and blues that covered the ceiling. It had to have been mine, but there was something in the back of my mind trying to tell me otherwise. Footsteps echoed in the hall beyond my door. But that was absurd. I lived alone for thirteen years and counting. There was no way anyone else could be in the house…who else would have a key?
"Must be my imagination," I mumbled to myself. It seemed strange hearing footsteps.
Maybe I am losing it…
Trying to get comfortable in the bed of feathers and silks, I rolled over and sighed. "I wonder if you're still protecting me like you promised, Aiden. Are you still with me or is this all a cruel joke?" I couldn't hear the rain anymore, but it didn't matter. "You always hated the rain. I hope that wherever you are....it....it doesn't rain," I whispered, feeling hot tears well up. I couldn't help but crawl into myself and cry. I’ve been holding it back for so long that it was bound to resurface eventually.
"Why did you have to leave me, Aiden? Why?" I started to remember everything. His green eyes, his messy, brown hair, everything. His voice haunted me, a constant nightmare that I couldn't escape from, no matter how strong the pill was. Green eyes, his green eyes swam flickered through my mind. For a second, I thought of the man from my hallucination, since that was what I determined it to be. It couldn’t be possible…could it? It didn't matter. None of it mattered. I could remember the day he died.
As I closed my eyes, rivers flowed down my ghastly white skin from blue-grey eyes, stealing the color from them. The waterfall of jet hair fanned around my head and face, laying almost angelically on the white sheets and silver down. Long legs intertwined with the heavy blankets as frail arms froze with the pain that his memory brought. It hit harder than a freight train to the chest.
With fingers trembling, I gripped the sheet and tried to focus on the sounds outside the room. Nothing could take away the pain that I felt when he left. Sleep would never come to me, and it never surprised me that it never would.
"Aiden...I'd give anything to have you back...I’d give anything to know you’re still there."
"Anything?" a disembodied voice whispered in my ear coldly. I opened my eyes and lifted my head off the soft pillow. Frantically, I looked around the room, and saw no one.
"Hello?" I answered. "Hello? Who's there?" A shiver ran through my entire body when all I was greeted with was silence.1