I used to live in a bubble.
It was rainbow oil in a puddle.
It was soft and calm.
It was unreality.
And when you came along it popped.
I don't know whether to thank you for that . . . or to kick you in the shins.
Author notes
Real short
Vicky is a vision (brownie points?)
A contest entry
- Haha by asthray.heart.
170 points, ended June 12, 2007, 16 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Not Dumb by tacobell4me08.
310 points, ended July 2, 2007, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - 150 Words or Less by werner1221.
121 points, ended July 22, 2007, 17 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Humour - Weird - Fun by Asfand.
135 points, ended July 20, 2007, 11 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Give me a good... by Yi Yin.
230 points, ended August 21, 2007, 25 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - LETS LAUGH! (Put your sense of humor on display) by erectmeonit.
145 points, ended August 13, 2007, 9 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
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nice...
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Nice name! You take it from greek/roman or the fowl books?
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I'm sooo sorry you couldn't enter this in my contest!!! It is very funny, I like it a lot! Good job on this ^.^
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Light humor! I loved it . Good luck with it to you . Man! This is the second entry of a poem in my contest . So someone's competing with you
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Give em zee upoercut!!
Good luck -
hahahaha
I have no idea what to think about this poem... it is a poem right??? u still left the poem about sun and moon lol...
This is a poem right??? it did make me laugh... Good Job!
And good luck!
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Hehe, short and sweet, thats what makes it good. If it were any longer, it would be ruined. Great poem.
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Awesome! this was really funny!! thnx alot for entering i really liked it!
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hahaha funny s***. thx for entering.
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I love this. THe last line made me laugh. I'm on the phone with tacobell4me08 now, and we're both talking about it.
<33! This is so true, too. Good job
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Ha ha. I liked this one. It was short, but funny. I am not sure if it is exactally what I was looking for in this contest. I did enjoy reading it a lot though. Great job. Good luck and thanks for entering.
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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Very metaphoric! I share the same opinion as CaptAnnStarr... we all live in these bubbles, but when they burst, it can be good OR bad. I guess you just have to wait it out and see exactly how it all turns out. Great job!!
~Kevan!~
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Awesome!
I love it, it reminds me of the 'sorry to burst your bubble' adage. We all live in our litle bubbles, and then someone comes along to stir up our lives.. sometimes for good, sometimes for bad. -
lol.i liked the metaphor...itsnice great write
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Awesome the ending was funny as Great words and imagery.
Thanks for entering and good luck.
Lady Madeline.
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You know, sometimes we say more with fewer words to lenghten things would just break an essence - well, that's what I think, anyway
I think that before we love or fall in love, or find real friends, we all live in this bubble, surrounded by monotony ^_^ youv'e said it perfectly, really.. and it's amazing how something so simple could be so deep the simplicity in your piece does not leave me feeling empty ^_^
I wish you luck with the contest!
Thanks for sharing this (And for commenting ^_^)
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Like Bitter Irony said, it was a combination of a deep and humorous write!
The last line made me laugh!
Good job!
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An interesting combination of deep and humerous--I must admit, the last part of the last line made me scratch my head and smile. Thanks for entering the contest!
beginning: 2, language: 2, plot: 1, ending: 3, dialog: 1, characters: 1.
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This seemed like a cool poem. Did it represent hiding in this world and having somebody shake life into the main character? Because that's what I got out of it.
Let me know, cause I'm curious to what you were striving for. I'd like to know if I am way off so I can evaluate it again
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Thanks for the comment. You got it pretty much right, it is about maybe not necessarily hidding but just not realising what the real world is, and really not being sure I wanted to know when I found out.
To tell you the truth its based on the feeling I got when I first started going to law school, I used to think that everyone was generally good and that while you could talk rings around people justice would normally prevail, turns out I was wrong. Stink poos!
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