[ Why do i do this to myself? ]

Why do i do this to myself?

I take on so much

work, school, family matters, makeing money for others, careing so much about them and not really about myself. I dont get myself. Sometimes i think its becaue i dont deserve to be worried or cared about but everyone tells me otherwise, the MorganLady cares, and the CassiePerson cares too I know they do they say so everyday, without me haveign to ask if they do.. And I know Asa Lana and Sam care. Then i think maybe its because i have no self esteem. I know thats true, i know people care but i dont get why they care.. i look in the mirror and i dont see what they see, i look at a picture and i dont see what they see. They say they see a pretty girl , whos happy. Do you knwo what i see? A fat cow who is hiding behind so much because she dosent care enough about herself to talk to anyone. I wish i could lie tomyself tell myself i dont feel this way and continued hiding but i cant because these people.. My friends.. have broken me down. And i dont know what to do. Then i realize something I care abotu them becasue of who they are, what they are to me. Without them i would not be here, i would have asked long ago to leave, to get away, to go somewhere else. Without them i would not be who i am today. I know that. I just wished that they would see what i see when i look at them. Wonderful Beautiful Amazing people. People that deserve so much in life. PEOPLE WHO DONT DESERVE THE SHIT THEY HAVE BEEN PUT THOUGH! god i swear i would loose myself without each and every one of them

Chris- Please.. please believe me.. you worth so much to me.. I care so much about you

Cassie- I care so much about you, im so sorry i hurt you but im so glad we are friends i am always here for you and i am so PROUD of you so so proud!

Morgan- Thank you so much With out you i would still be the girl with no friends walking around the school talking to no one.. Thank you for saving me and trusting me so much

Lana- Go you are my sister, I would go insane with out you i seriously dont know what i would do

Sam- We have been though shit, rumors fights and just not talking but you serously pushed your way into my life and i thank you for it becasue you are the one who can always make me laugh no matter what

Asa- youre so sweet, and so careing thank you