To see him and love him,
For which he will never know,
Because i'm the girl in the corner,
Just like the lonley crow,
I know he loves her but it doesnt change the fact,
That in some years i'l say,
I wish he loved me back.
A contest entry
- Short Poetry by Bitter Irony.
165 points, ended June 15, 2007, 26 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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That's sad...I like the emotion you put in so little words. It's hard to do that. There are some spelling mistakes, though. "i'm" should be "I'm". In the 5th line "doesnt" should be changed to "doesn't". In the 6th line, "i'l" should be changed to "I'll", just some suggestions. It's a great poem!
*Frozen Angel* -
Awww, so sad. It's so beautiful though... oh such a lovely poem. I'm glad you wrote this, and got your feelings out. I did really like this though... very effective and to the point.
~Kevan!~
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Yeah... That's sad. Unreturned love can hurt a lot.. and there's little you can do when you have the object of your loves best interest at heart.
Good work -
This was sad...x.x
I can...picture this happening to someone. It's even happened to myself. ^_^
Very lovely poem.
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I remember the feeling very well. :-( Nice poem--however, you'll have to fix the grammar errors (im, il, et cetera) for the contest, otherwise this poem will be removed. Sorry about the harshness, I'm just looking for any excuse to narrow down my list of possible winners. :-) Good job, and good luck!
beginning: 1, language: 2, plot: 1, ending: 2, dialog: 1, characters: 2.
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heehee
done X)
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