Have you ever noticed how when the world is crumbling around you, and all seems to be lost, in the darkest of the night when all is quiet and only nature can be heard, that the only things seemingly unchanged are the stars? Each one perfectly placed by the hand of God. Unmoved no matter where you are. I often lay here when no lights can be seen elsewhere and think about where my life has led me, where I am going and what things destiny has in store for my future, But most of all, when I look up at the stars...I think of Ryan.1
I woke up early, It was the first day of my summer and grandpa had to get me up so I could get a head start on my chores, I threw on a pair of Mudd flares that fit me snug and have a small hole in the knee from working with wood and such, pulled a hoodie on and tied up my long black curls on top of my head in a messy bun. My skin was dark from working out in the sun all the time and if you didn't know any better you would probably think I was a little Hispanic girl. I put in my contacts to protect my pretty blue eyes, and head on down for a good southern home cooked breakfast, before the morning labor. You see we live on a rather large farm in a small Alabama town and there are lots of things that need tending to. I had to help milk the cows and collect the eggs from the chicken coop but most importantly there was a fence down on the back 30 from a nasty lightning storm a couple nights ago. We are constantly having storms around here and something is always getting messed up. 2
After I finish my chores Grandma and I usually ride into town for the day to run errands. On that particular day I remember needing some film for my camera, see I like to call myself a photographer although I don't make any money and no one has even seen my pictures, it's more of a hobby, I had just found the film I needed stuck all the way up on the top shelf, I put my foot on the bottom shelf so that I could get to it,thats when I lost my ballance and reached out for the rack of disposable cameras. Instead of grabbing the rack I sort of fell into it and they just flew everywhere. This very tall, very handsome boy just happened to be standing close by when a camera whacked him upside the head.He turned around quickly and saw the mess I had made and started to laugh " I don't see anything funny about this" I glared at him and began to pick up the cameras." sorry it's just...you um..kind of hit me..in the head"3
"Oh My God I am so sorry" 4
"it's okay really, let me help you"5
"thanks" I smiled actually realising how good looking he was, He had to be at least 6'2, with broad athletic shoulders and black velvet hair that he wore spiked, he had golden brown eyes and skin the color of caramel"you want to take a picture? I'm sure it will last a lot longer" I snapped out of my daze unaware of my staring and saw that he had a camera held out in front of me." Oh, shut up." I got up and started to walk away but he followed me. " I'm not from around here"6
"obviously"7
"what does that mean?"8
"means you talk like a Yankee, so what do you want?"9
"I was just wondering if you would mind showing me around"10
I looked at him somewhat skeptical,unaccustomed to showing around perfect strangers...And he was perfect.I looked him in the eye, not knowing weather or not to trust someone I hadn't even ever seen before, a bit hesitant I gave him what he wanted "sure, I'll show you around."He looked genuinely surprised "great! I'll just let my parents know." I nodded and watched him walk out the store, I paid for my things and met him outside. He extended his hand, " My names Ryan"11
I smiled, Ryan..how simple, I took his hand, it was surprisingly soft and gentle "I'm Meg" I smiled and let his hand go."so where to first?" 12
"Well, this is just a small town, there isn't much here honestly." I went on to say how everything was pretty much in the area. We have one little grocery store with the necessities in it, a movie theatre that plays one movie every two weeks, the post office was across from the theatre, the library next to that and a tiny diner smack dab in the middle of it all called "Mitzi's." Nothing fancy, just a small simple town. We began to talk about each others lives. I learned that he was from New York and his parents came down here for summer vacation to visit his Aunt. He was a football player, which explained the broad shoulders and was 19, just two years older then me. I found out that he came from pretty good money. His dad is like the owner of some major cruise line and his mom is an attorney. He didn't seem to mind that I was just a farm girl, I think he actually appreciated it. As the evening came to an end I walked him to his Aunts house which wasn't too far from my own. " It was nice meeting you Ryan"13
I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks, not really wanting the evening to be over.14
"I'm glad you did" He smiled and ran a hand through his hair, he looked very unsure of what to do next "well I should go in...It's getting late"15
"I should get back" I began to leave and got about ten feet when he yelled back at me " Hey Meg"16
I turned around to face him, He acted like he had something to say but couldn't quite get it out. I stood there for a moment when he finally uttered "Can I see you again tomarrow?"17
I think my face lit up like a christmas tree, I almost thought I had emagined it " I would like that"18
"great I'll meet you at the diner then, around noon." I saw him smile and run a hand through his hair,Obviously something he did when he was nervouse... I gave him a nod and went to walking home, That smile did not leave my face all night, and when I woke up the next morning, it was still plastered there. Ryan...Had etched himself in my memory, and only the angels knew how much he would eventually etch himself, into my heart.19
I woke up early, It was the first day of my summer and grandpa had to get me up so I could get a head start on my chores, I threw on a pair of Mudd flares that fit me snug and have a small hole in the knee from working with wood and such, pulled a hoodie on and tied up my long black curls on top of my head in a messy bun. My skin was dark from working out in the sun all the time and if you didn't know any better you would probably think I was a little Hispanic girl. I put in my contacts to protect my pretty blue eyes, and head on down for a good southern home cooked breakfast, before the morning labor. You see we live on a rather large farm in a small Alabama town and there are lots of things that need tending to. I had to help milk the cows and collect the eggs from the chicken coop but most importantly there was a fence down on the back 30 from a nasty lightning storm a couple nights ago. We are constantly having storms around here and something is always getting messed up. 2
After I finish my chores Grandma and I usually ride into town for the day to run errands. On that particular day I remember needing some film for my camera, see I like to call myself a photographer although I don't make any money and no one has even seen my pictures, it's more of a hobby, I had just found the film I needed stuck all the way up on the top shelf, I put my foot on the bottom shelf so that I could get to it,thats when I lost my ballance and reached out for the rack of disposable cameras. Instead of grabbing the rack I sort of fell into it and they just flew everywhere. This very tall, very handsome boy just happened to be standing close by when a camera whacked him upside the head.He turned around quickly and saw the mess I had made and started to laugh " I don't see anything funny about this" I glared at him and began to pick up the cameras." sorry it's just...you um..kind of hit me..in the head"3
"Oh My God I am so sorry" 4
"it's okay really, let me help you"5
"thanks" I smiled actually realising how good looking he was, He had to be at least 6'2, with broad athletic shoulders and black velvet hair that he wore spiked, he had golden brown eyes and skin the color of caramel"you want to take a picture? I'm sure it will last a lot longer" I snapped out of my daze unaware of my staring and saw that he had a camera held out in front of me." Oh, shut up." I got up and started to walk away but he followed me. " I'm not from around here"6
"obviously"7
"what does that mean?"8
"means you talk like a Yankee, so what do you want?"9
"I was just wondering if you would mind showing me around"10
I looked at him somewhat skeptical,unaccustomed to showing around perfect strangers...And he was perfect.I looked him in the eye, not knowing weather or not to trust someone I hadn't even ever seen before, a bit hesitant I gave him what he wanted "sure, I'll show you around."He looked genuinely surprised "great! I'll just let my parents know." I nodded and watched him walk out the store, I paid for my things and met him outside. He extended his hand, " My names Ryan"11
I smiled, Ryan..how simple, I took his hand, it was surprisingly soft and gentle "I'm Meg" I smiled and let his hand go."so where to first?" 12
"Well, this is just a small town, there isn't much here honestly." I went on to say how everything was pretty much in the area. We have one little grocery store with the necessities in it, a movie theatre that plays one movie every two weeks, the post office was across from the theatre, the library next to that and a tiny diner smack dab in the middle of it all called "Mitzi's." Nothing fancy, just a small simple town. We began to talk about each others lives. I learned that he was from New York and his parents came down here for summer vacation to visit his Aunt. He was a football player, which explained the broad shoulders and was 19, just two years older then me. I found out that he came from pretty good money. His dad is like the owner of some major cruise line and his mom is an attorney. He didn't seem to mind that I was just a farm girl, I think he actually appreciated it. As the evening came to an end I walked him to his Aunts house which wasn't too far from my own. " It was nice meeting you Ryan"13
I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks, not really wanting the evening to be over.14
"I'm glad you did" He smiled and ran a hand through his hair, he looked very unsure of what to do next "well I should go in...It's getting late"15
"I should get back" I began to leave and got about ten feet when he yelled back at me " Hey Meg"16
I turned around to face him, He acted like he had something to say but couldn't quite get it out. I stood there for a moment when he finally uttered "Can I see you again tomarrow?"17
I think my face lit up like a christmas tree, I almost thought I had emagined it " I would like that"18
"great I'll meet you at the diner then, around noon." I saw him smile and run a hand through his hair,Obviously something he did when he was nervouse... I gave him a nod and went to walking home, That smile did not leave my face all night, and when I woke up the next morning, it was still plastered there. Ryan...Had etched himself in my memory, and only the angels knew how much he would eventually etch himself, into my heart.19
Author notes
I like this so far..I know it needs some work but I had fun writting it just because stuff like that would only happen to me ( The camera rack) Please give me any suggestions you wish and I hope you like it :0)
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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:0) thanks Chris. I have the hardest time trying to come up with ch 2. I cant seem to get it right in my head like, I dont want to give anything away too fast. But I dont know. I dont have time now..Im actually getting ready for school at the moment. hehe. But thanks for your comment..and this time I mean it lol I really appreciate it..Even though..ya know...I still think your great :0) Have a great day.
love candy -
I finally got to read this. What can I say? Um... it's certainly not my preferred style. It's very much keyed towards a female audience, most likely a young one longing to find something perfect. You know what I mean? Has all of the hallmarks of the genre, with your own unique twists.
The only part that really stood out, for me, was your introduction. I liked the little tribute to the stars. It's well written, no doubt, but nothing particularly new or vivid. Would have to read more to be sure though. -
You do more telling than showing, but the end picks up, and I like the symbolism.
I formed a new group for story writers if you are interested, it is called Novel Aspirations. It is a place where you can find writing support and helpful critique. -
excellent
i think it was pretty good write and laughed at talk like yankee lmao when i told that i say you talk like rebel lmao !
-hadesword- -
awesome
i really liked this!!!! my names ryan too lol. and it is simple lol, but its great! lol and such an awesome story, definately a good intro for what could turn into an awesome story! -
what parts? I dont want anyone to be thrown off so if I can make something clearer please let me know..Thanks bunches :0)
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you need to add another chapter to this story! long tho but very interesting. I kinda got thrown off a little bit in some parts but other than that i think that you did a great job...love lonelyfairy
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yeah, sorry the stars thing got me off on a tangent and i forgot everything else! =*P but yeah, i'm a hopeless romantic so to meet a chick that way would be hilarious and convenient...but anyway...the only thing i didn't really like about this was some sentances i felt were on the brink of being run on but other than that i really liked it
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Did you read more then the first paragraph by chance? I not implying you didnt I just would like more feedback on the story. Thanks :0)
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.....wow....i loved this....stars are the most beautiful things ever....i love going to my friends house in the country and just chillin on his roof watching them and talking....citys life pollution sucks!!!! but i like it, sorry i ranted!
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in the first paragraph "where my life has lead me" lead is misspelled... it should be "led". "chicken coup" should be "chicken coop" in the second paragraph. i hope you don't mind the corrections. it means i read the whole story
you said in your author's comments that you were still editing the story. for a first draft i'd say it's pretty good. so by the time you've worked on it for a while it should sizzle. i always start stories and get stuck on how to end them.
i wish you luck... you've got a great start!!
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nice start on a story,i cant ever seem to get started on one.keep using the personal bits and i beleive you will do well.
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Well i had this experience of the stars when i was growing up, but living in LA the smog and pollution hides the stars, and you unfortunately do not get to see their beauty- unless you go to the observatory, which I actually do quite often. But it's not the same feeling as just looking up.
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I wanna read the rest!!!!! I hope you make another chapter in this story! It was soo good, I never read these long stories or anything, but this was soo good, and the yankee part LOL i hated that, they always called me a yankee in texas and it sucked! Great write though, you know your stuff!
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Oops he's Ryan..I was talking to a bryan when I was writting this..must have thrown me off lol.
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not bad, but is his name Bryan or Ryan? you have both....it kept my interest tho...
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