He smiles at me, the world becomes brighter
LIfe's heavy burdens seem lighter.
Those giggles when he sleeps
keeps a smile on our faces.
Now he is five, cuddle days are done.
I am happy to be alive with my son.
Oh the happiness my son brings to me.
______________________________________
His love wraps around my heart,
we are never apart for long.
He comforts me when I am weak
consoles me when I weep.
He has never left me,
nor forsaken me.
He is my joy in my sorrow.
Author notes
The first one is obviously about my son. The second one is about 3 men in my life: a) my Heavenly Father, Jesus; b) my dad; c) my husband.
I have a difficult time doing poetry like this because I get so caught up in my feelings and trying to convey them that I usually end up with a looong poem. kinda like I am doing with these notes. LOL :D ;)
A contest entry
- Short Poetry by Bitter Irony.
165 points, ended June 15, 2007, 26 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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No, why do you say your poems would be long at least this is not, I feel you have done this very beautifully describing the men in your life, all of them, marvellous!! I specially loved the first one written about your son, very tender and full of love, the purest form of love, as is also with God and fathers. A completely amazing write. Thanks for sharing this and I am glad this caught my eye. I have written something about love today, do read if you feel inclined. It's about a love of a child...
http://allpoetry.com/poem/5572836
Love and light,
Lencio -
Beautiful
Now I can tell this was written from your heart,
It was so lovely and a delight to read. Take care, Sandy 
(
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Your poems are awesome! I like your word choice and how you had a rhyme scheme. Great job!
*Frozen Angel* -
Awesome. I like the first one more, only because it's easier to imagine. Your second one seems more personal, maybe because not everyone knows those three particular men, but I'm sure a lot of people can relate. Great job!
~Kevan!~
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lol...this was really beautiful. i personally loved it. especially how the second part describes three men. great job
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I read this...x.x But I didn't comment...x.x
I REALLY like how you based these about the three men in your life.
And the first of your son.
Very, very, good poems.
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The emotion in your first poem is just amazing. Your second could be improved by narrowing the focus just a little onto one specific feeling. Good luck in the contest, and thanks for entering!
beginning: 2, language: 1, plot: 2, ending: 2, dialog: 1, characters: 3.
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