Death Becomes Her

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.

-Carl Jung



Fey sat in her tub. The only sounds were dripping water from the facet into the bath water which she sat in with a kitchen knife in her hand and her pale, vulnerable wrist turned over. She stared blankly ahead as she moved the knife to her wrist and felt the cold metal on her skin and the sharp pain as it began to it cut her tender flesh and blood run down her wrist, in dangerous amounts. She cleaned the blade by swapping it across her breast and then let it drop to the floor. She unplugged the tub and held her arm above the water, so she could watch as the blood streaked water twirled down, down, down. But she knew she had not cut deep enough for death. She yearned for it’s cold touch, but she was too cowardly to end her own life. To end the voices. In her dreams and during the day, the voices that were always present.
-Jump in front of that bus, Fey, come on. Do it, Fey. DO IT!-
But she never did, at first she thought it was because she was a coward but then she realized something was holding her back and telling her to wait, her time would come soon enough. The voices only came if she didn’t cut often enough. Watching the red life ooze from her vulnerable body seems to satisfy them enough. Sometimes, it was enough. At times, they asked her to do more morbid things, like to strangle her neighbor’s dog, which barked all the time at night and early morning when she usually got in. She got up from the tub, lifting her pale naked body from the slightly reddish brown tinted water that was still draining, and grabbed a towel to wipe her body off. Then suddenly the towel dropped to the floor as she had a flashback of the night before.
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Fey had waved her fingers at the last of the band, but the drummer, Tombre lingered.
“Are you sure you don’t want a ride?”
She gave him, one of her signature blank looks, and then a little cold smile that was meant to reassure but just made him shiver.
“I’ll be fine. I usually am.”
And before he could say another word, she was already across the street. The night was cold and the sky was dark expect when the clouds opened to reveal the moon’s peeking face. The little bit of moonlight gave her courage as she walked along the rotting street, the streetlights flickered barely presenting her with any good light as her high heels clicked on the sidewalk and the wind brushed back her long blonde hair. She looked around and carelessly decided to take the shortcut to her apartment by alleyway. The hair on the back her neck stood as she walked down it, the sound of mouse scurrying could be heard and the loud hallow clip of her heels, which quicken as she walked faster.
–You could die tonight-
Said the voices all at once.. A scream up ahead made everything in her freeze, and her heart beated wildly with fear. The voice before was quiet. As if another willed her body, she started forward before stopping again. All she could make out were dark figures up ahead. There was yet another scream before it became just the sounds of a struggle, the moon had decided to come out and play at that moment, lighting the dark secrets the alley held and her eyes focused on a man with his hands clutching the neck of a woman with the darkest hair that seem to echo the man’s hair and his actions. A blonde wig was on the ground as if it had fallen during the attack. The woman’s hands scratching and weakly trying to pull his fingers away from his death grasp on her neck. She was dressed cheaply; with fake leather dress on that barely covered her ass. Then her hands started to shake uncontrollably as her life drained away, Fey was frozen as she turned her eyes to the man and wasn’t able to take them away. He was breathtakely beautiful as if god had taken special attention to him when he created him. A fallen angel. Each features was hand chosen and created. His raven hair was long and shady, and his face seemed to be frozen in the most intoxicated, blissful expression. As if this was what satisfied him, his eyes seem to glow and his lips curved as his hands tightened She felt something low in her tighten. She could only stare on as finally the woman’s hands dropped limply to her sides and he lovely lied down her body and straighten. Fey’s heart was beating so loud and fast, she was afraid he would hear it. Then he casually looked to see around, his glance at first passed over her then slowly as if not truly knowing if he could trust his eyes, he turned his head and his powerful black eyes rested on, calmly on her as if she didn’t matter. Time seemed to stop as he stared at her. Everything in her still frozen and the breath stuck in her lungs. Their eyes locked, then he stepped forward, and then as every alarm in her body went off as she see to woke up, shaking her head as if she was disoriented then quickly took off down the alley as fast as she could.
It wasn’t until she got home did she realized, she had liked it. She had liked every single minute of it, she thought as an almost delirious smile grew on her face. Every single minute.
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Shaking her head, trying to push the memories back, she walked to her room. In her room, she brushed her fine, long blonde hair, as she got ready for that night’s performance. Lying down her brush, she took her liquid eyeliner and began to apply it, slowly around her blue eyes, drawing more attention to them. She applied dark make up around her eyes to make them bigger and somewhat mysterious. She painted a blood red on her bow mouth, which made them look glossy and kissable. Her skin was a milky pale, and she lightly brushed blush over her high cheekbones. Her wide deep blue eyes stared at her reflection as her small hand went up to brush the breathtakingly beautiful image that she had produced before she pulled it back and stepped over, naked, to the clothes that were lied out on her black satin sheets that were on her canopy bed. She was only pretty without the makeup, but with it she was a goddess. She slipped on the mini red dress over her head and pulled out her hair as the soft material fall and molded on her body. It seemed to hug her every curve and was even shorter then midthigh, but she had knee high black boots that made it not look as bad, sort of. She slipped her small foot in the bed and ran a hand down her thigh as her nimble fingers landed on the zipper and pulled it up slowly over her slender long leg, then put on the other. She pushed her long waves over her shoulder before standing up and grabbing her purse being heading out the door to Moonlight Death Wish. She hailed a cab and caught a ride to it.
Moonlight Death Wish was the only nightclub, where she and her band Blood Soaked Innocence, performed. She headed down the street, to the backdoor, where Lance, the bodyguard was standing looking mean as hell, she nodded at him and he opened the door.
She smiled coldly as she walked to the backstage, where her band was waiting for her. The guys looked like hell as usual. But it really didn’t matter, the crowd was here to see and hear her.
“Late, Fey.” Bran, the guitarist growled as she pulled her coat off. She turned her cool blue to him.
“Sorry.” She said softly, not sorry at all as their eyes were on her.
“We already practiced.”
She looked up and gave a hint of a smile.
“Then let’s do it.”
BSI headed for the stage as she took her place in front of the microphone. Their were many voices and she couldn’t see into the crowd because the lights were off, but soon it became eerily quiet and she curled her hand around the microphone and pulled it closer. Her glossy red lips opened as her powerful, airy voice rang out.
“Tell me what you think. Reveal to me, that death follows you around as it does me. Come on baby, whispering in my ear, attempting to control my mind….”
The lights began to come on slowly but only her, the crowd watched fascinated by this unearthly beauty as she sang out lyrics that were wrapped around death and pain but they were too enchanted by her voice, and her the slow swaying of her body as she sang lyrics, she wrote from her heart. Fey was obsessed with death and her lyrics revealed the darkest part of her soul. Her dark eyes caught on to a single figure in the crowd, who stare was different, then the others. Not filled with yearning or lust but just as if she were lying out his soul too as she sang. The lights fell again as she sang her last song. Usually she went straight home after a set, went straight home but tonight was different. She went to the bar and ordered a cola. She felt a presence next to her, unlike all the rest in the room and found herself looking into black eyes. Fear and desire clasped her heart as she looked at him.
–He came back to kill you, bitch.-
Said the voices in her head, all at the same time and she wanted to cover her ears. Not that it help any. But his eyes didn’t seem giving away at any hint of recognizing her from the night before. He was looking at her, almost shyly.
“I heard you singing and felt like you read my soul…”
He bent closer, so his lips were next to her ear, she flinched as if expecting him to attack her but he stopped when he saw her flinch, his beautiful dark eyes looked puzzled.
“Are you alright?”
“Fine.” She managed to get out around her fear, her hand was shaking, and at any moment she expected him to shout. “It was you!” But instead just stood there, nervously and shyly. He glanced at her bandaged arm and she moved it behind her.
“I’m Carl.”
He offered his hand. Stared at it before letting her hand fall into it.
“Fey.”
“Fated to die soon.”
Their eyes locked, and attraction was apparent between them. Her hand was still in his, and he rubbed his thumb on her knuckles. Her hand looked even smaller in his wide hands. A shiver of fright and excitement went through as she remembered those same hands around the prostitute’s neck.
“But not too soon, hopefully.” He added as effortlessly pulled her up and out to the dance floor. Fey followed, besotted with him, her body already moving with the rhythm of the club. The music seemed to pulse from all around. She found her body molded to his as they danced. They grinded, their bodies perfect harmony and they both knew their bodies were made for each other.

Everything happen so fast, they ended up in her apartment. Clothes seem to melt off their bodies and he pushed her to the bed with a growl. His eyes were totally black with passion Her legs went around his waist. As his fingers curled in her hair pulling it tight back, so her head jerked and a low scream erupted from her, so he had access to her neck, he licked it in strokes, then kissed and nibbled on it. His hands went over her arms to her wrist, which he clasped to hold them down, which made her wrench as kissed her deeply as if sucking her in. Her lower body was pushed hard against the bed as he grinded his erection against her opening and she moaned in his mouth. She gasped deeply as he lowered this mouth to her breast and he opened his mouth as to take it all his mouth but instead bit her, his teeth sinking into her skin deeply as she screamed from the pain, then he licked the marks he had made on her delicate skin. His tongue flicked her over her nipples, playing with them, before sucking on them. His hands rubbed and stroked over the curves of her pale body, squeezing her round behind. Then their lips met again and she felt as she would burst with all the teasing. She pushed herself against him. He took the hand from her hair to guide himself into her tightness and they both moaned as he entered her slickness, he positioned her legs over his shoulders, as he began to thrust smoothly into her and fingers played with her clit causing her to shake under him as her organism built. She moaned and withered under him, then as if she weighed little, then took himself out her wetness and flipped her over.
“Knees.”
Quickly, she moved so she bent over and on her knees on the bed. He smoothly entered her from the back, ramming into her, ripping a scream from her throat. He gripped her hips with bruising fingers. She moaned as she felt him thrust harder and go deeper. She knew she was near, when he grabbed her hair and pulled roughly, tearing a scream from her throat. He slammed against her ass and his action became faster and she knew he was about cum. She screamed as she organism. Her pussy walls tighten around him as he came. He released her and she fell exhausted on the bed. And he joined her slowly, beside her and gently smoothed back her loose hair. Her eyes were on him, looking at him with wonder, her hand slowly to stroke his face.
“Did I hurt you?” He asked softly, the expression on his face shocked as if he surprised himself asking the question. And she shook her head, she had guys rougher then him and none of them asked that question. She buried her head in his chest as she felt the bruises forming on her body but she didn’t care, also she was afraid her cut on her arm may be bleeding again, but she pushed the thoughts away and fell asleep in his arms.
Fey awoke with the feel of hands tighten around her neck, her eyes flew open to look into Carl’s eyes which were darken with pleasure, the same look he had the night he was struggling the prostitute. Her hands went up to pull his off, and his hands tighten. -DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE- screamed the voices in her head.
“Do….It.” She managed to choke out. And she let her hands fall to her side, then as if snapping out of a trance, he released her neck. And she started coughing gasping for breath. She turned to him, and he was staring at his hands with disgust. He started to jump from the bed, but weakly she reached for him and croaked out his name.
“Carl.”
He turned back to her, their eyes staring into one another.
“Don’t leave. Please”
His stare turned to confusion but Fey kept her arms open and slowly he turned and climbed into them, bringing her mouth gently to his, he kissed her with a soft passion and she broke away shocked. No one had ever kissed her ever so tender, and she felt herself giving herself, as it was her first time again. Shyly, she kissed him back the same way. He was running his hands over her hair, as he laid kisses over her face. Her hands went down over his, rubbing up and down the sides of his firm body. He nibbled gently at her lips as his hands touched her as if he had never touched her body before. He kissed down her body, his hands running over the places he kissed, then his head dipped between her legs, which Fey closed but he rubbed her legs, until she opened them again. His tongue ran over her smooth slit, and she threw her head back, as intense emotions built low in her. His tongue licked her wet folds before he found her clit and began to tease it. Her hips moved against his mouth.
“Carl.”
She whimpered and he moved back up and kissed her, she could taste herself on his lips. This time, he flipped them over so she would saddle him. She slowly lowered herself on him and he moaned and pushed his hips up, causing her to moan also. She moved slowly on him, prolong it both for them, unlike their first coupling, this was slow and both their eyes on each other. She came first as she rode him, whimper his name as the after shivers came over her body and she couldn’t help but smile. He held her in his arms, his face buried in her golden length of hair and then she felt his body shaking, when she turned her head up, he was sobbing.
“I’m so sorry-“
“Shhhh it’s okay.”
She held him until they both fell into a deep sleep. That night she had no dreams and the voices never came.

The next three days, they stayed in bed all day, just making love and laughing. One night after he thought she was asleep, he kissed her protectively on the forehead.
“If you ever need me, Fey. Visit me at Old Creek Grave Memorial under a giant oak tree on a hill.”
Fey felt something, clean and beautiful come over her, and the voices had not returned since the night they had made love. Fey returned her shower and heard the television going in the other room, drying off her body, she walked in there naked, her wet hair still slick from her shower was lying down her back.
“Carl.”
He turned to her and smiled shyly at her, as he put the TV on mute and came to her. He kissed her softly and she wrapped arms around his neck. He laid a hand on her hips.
“I got a gig tonight. You wanna come?”
”Of course.”
She ran a playful hand through his hair. And she kissed him before she went back to her room and he watched her as turned and winked at her.

That night, she got dressed and both of them walked to the club. When they passed the alley, his hand turned cold and his eyes blank. Fey just glanced worryingly at him but didn’t say a word.
They reached the club and she kissed him before she went back stage. Her band members glanced at her unhappily.
“Bloody, sodden hell! Where you’ve been the last three days? Dead! We couldn’t get a hold of ya worth our lives!” shouted Marco, their bass player.
“I’ve been busy.” She removed her coat to reveal blue satin dress that was fall gracefully down with a small train and strapless. It was molded to every curve of her body, and it made them hush and stare. “Come on, we play in five.” Marco whispered, awed by her beauty and the unusually glow that lit her face from within.

When the light was on her, she sensed Carl was in the front, and her eyes found him and focused on him as she sang.
“Voices fade with your touch. Death becomes me, but it feels so right, that’s almost too much.”

Then suddenly he got up and left. She wanted to follow but she had to finish with the gig or they wouldn’t get paid.
After the gig, she ran to her apartment, and found everything broken and thrown; she went to her room where she found him sobbing on the bed. She went to hold him and he let her for a while but then he pushed her away.
“There’s blood on my hands. I’ve killed. There is something wrong in me-”
He looked up at her with tears in his eyes. His voice was desperation as he was begging her to understand.
“And I’ll do it again. Stay away from me, Fey.”
He started toward the door, his back to her, she moved off the bed to go to him but what he said next stopped her in her tracks.
“I know it was you in the alley, when I killed that whore and I was going to kill you that night but I couldn’t. You look so innocent, so pure under me, all that white skin of yours. But listen to this, Fey. You tempt me, there has been nights when I just stared at you, the need to kill so bad on me I could taste it. But I never did, because by then your laugh, the flowery smell of your hair would always come back to me, remind me that you weren’t some god forsaken whore, that god would punish me if I killed you. And if I killed you, I doubt that I would be able to feel the pleasure, I do when I kill. Don’t come near me or I swear, I won’t want to but I’ll kill you. I’ll kill you.”

Then with that he was gone and Fey sat defeated on the bed.

-Go to him, Fey.-
Said the voices in her head and they repeated it louder and louder, they were like pounding fist on the inside of her head, making her scream and cover her ears but they wouldn’t stop.

-Go to him, Fey. Go to him, Fey. Go to him, Fey. GO TO HIM YOU STUPID-

“SHUT UP!!!”

She started to sob, the voices were even worse then before she met Carl.

The next night, she had to prepare for a gig, she had brushed out her golden hair, so it shone as if it was a light all it’s own. She stared in the mirror and her hand went to touch the cold surface.
–You are so UGLY-
Whispered the voices at her.
“Shut the FUCK UP.”
She slammed her fist into the mirror, and it broke in pieces, shattered, the blood dripped from her bloodied fist and quickly she went and held it under cold water. After the bleeding slowed, she wrapped it. The dress she wore was of white and flowed to the ground. Tying her black hooded cloak around her neck she called a cab. Under the dress she even had on a white slippers.

At the club, she didn’t even say a word to the band but headed to the stage, because she knew they were on in just a couple minutes.
“I held the knife in my hand, to end all of my pain. Cause it just hasn’t been the same since the last I called out your name. “
Fey’s eyes were closed as she sang, her bandaged hand wrapping around the mike. She slowly opened her eyes.
“The voices have come back and I’m tired of waiting….Death becomes her…….hands wrapped around her throat….Death becomes her. Soon she’ll be where she belongs. With the one she loves.”

She spotted a familiar figure in the crowd and when it moved toward the door, this time she didn’t hesitate. She jumped off the stage and followed him.
She caught him a block away, pulling him to face her, and he turned crazy eyes on her and pulled her close to kiss her and she fell into his kiss, feeling the way she always did in his arms: Free. He pushed her against cold brick that she could feel through her dress and cloak, as his hands run up and down her body under her cloak. Then he screamed and pushed her away. His eyes still full of that craziness and then he ran.
“Carl!!”
-You can find him, Fey.-
“How?”
-Remember Old Creek, when he told you where to find him?-
“Oh yes! I remember, but why are you helping me?”
The voices laughed, making the inside of her head vibrated with the cruel sound.
-Why to end this foolish infatuation of course. He doesn’t want you. His mother thinks you’re a whore.-
“Yes he does! What in the fuck do you mean by that!?”
The voices laughed again.
-His mother thanks you a whore. Go and find you murdering lover boy and followed your namesake just as you were meant to.-
Ignoring that last comment, she ran back to the club and called a cab.

“If you ever need me, Fey. Visit me at Old Creek Grave Memorial under a giant oak tree on a hill.”
She ran up to the closed gate and wrapped pale defeated hands around the bars. And leaned her head against it.
-Look over there, there are bars messing.-

She turned and saw, lifting her skirt by the sides, she managed to squeeze her skinny body through. The wind roared loudly and whipped her hair back, making it wave like a flag of surrender. Her slippers and the hem of her dress were being dragged as she treaded up the hill and spotted a lone figure and a tombstone. She knew it was him. He turned and she stopped as they just stood feet away. She ran to him and he caught her in his arms, and held her without words. She brought his head down and whispered in his ear and then they just stood there as his hands moved up her back to her shoulders before they pushed her back and their eyes met. She made a squeak as hands curled around her neck and squeezed but unlike the others, she didn’t fight. And unlike the other times, he didn’t smile, in fact he looked as he was struggling with himself. When her hands went up this wrist, it wasn’t her trying to fight him off, but as if she was comforting him as he squeezed her throat and closed of her air supply. Then suddenly, something in her fragile neck cracked and her hands fell away. He felt tears well up in his eyes as he lied down, her still body on his mother’s grave, then he fell beside her sobbing like a child.
He pulled a revolver out of his pocket.
“I won’t let you control me anymore Mother.”
Fey’s words repeating in his head.
“Love you, no matter what happens. I was meant to die by the hands of the one I loved.”
He placed it in his mouth and pulled the trigger. His dead body fell over Fey’s as if they were sleeping in a lover’s embrace.