“You realise this might be the last time we ever do this?” Her soft voice teases me out of my star-filled euphoria. ‘This’ means sanctuary. ‘This’ means letting our souls loose under the stars, free to swim away. ‘This’ means forgetting time, and lying in the grass of my garden for as long as we need to, until all these things happen.
“Jen, we’ll still see each other, and…” I pause for a minute, marvelling at my words as they soar up, up, up and away, littering themselves between the pale flashes of silver and white stars. “And University can’t ruin what we’ve spent years building. We’ve been best friends since we were six. Things like that don’t just fall apart.”
“But think about it, Kieran. Aren’t you scared of the future? I’m going to Newcastle. You’re going to London. I’ll hide away in Geordie-stained science labs while you disperse into Soho Bohemia.”
I smile into the darkness. “You talk like such an artist, Jen. Remind me why you’re wasting four years on Biology?”
“Because this world needs thinkers, explainers, not more people to blur the lines between reality and fiction.” I can hear the smile in her own voice.
“What, so you’re saying my fabulous aspiration to become the new, even more incredible Oscar Wilde isn’t going to work?”
“That depends. What alcohol are you going to use?”
“Oi,” I mutter, “I can do it. Just you wait.”
“Sure you can, Kiery.” She turns on her side next to me, and I glimpse the moon sing in her eyes. “I didn’t say you couldn’t. I think you’ll do just fine, Mr Kieran Alexander Green. Just think how good your name will look picked out in type-written letters on your latest best-seller.”
“And you, Miss Jennifer Susan Jones. Imagine how wonderful that’ll look under a ground-breaking science journal headline.” She laughs, and it’s a beautiful sound that echoes between the clouds, filling up my ears, even as it leaves her chest.
“I bet it won’t happen though, Kiery. I’ll probably end up as a creepy science teacher who doesn’t let a single child breathe out of turn without a detention wedged upon them.”
“And I’ll be the weird English teacher who spends all the lesson ranting about politics and how our country is a vicious, consumer-driven machine with no compassion or common sense.”
“And then one day, at the high school social, we both get blindingly drunk…”
“And we end up doing it in the supply closet?”
“Ew, no way. I’d never get that drunk, Kiery.”
“Oh, charming. I’m hurt, Jennifer,” I cry with mock anguish. “Aren’t I good enough for you now?”
And there’s her soft laugh again, soaking up into the quiet air. “Shut up, Kieran,” she murmurs, punching me on the arm, ever so delicately.
“The pain!” I shriek. “Oh my word, the horrible, agonizing, atrocious, pain!” I roll from side to side, clutching my arm, caught up in the melodrama. This is the Masquerade Game, same as we’ve always played. It’s easy enough to hide the real pains if you can exaggerate the fake ones.
“Shut up,” she says again, poking my side with her thin fingers.
“Oh, but Jennifer, the pain!” She squeals as my fingers find her sides, tickling mercilessly as she begs at me through pants of laughter to ‘stop, stop!’ I tickle, and tickle, and suddenly she’s the same squirming ball of energy and happiness that she’s always been, the same Jenny who cried when East 17 broke up, the Jenny who no consoling could help. The same Jenny who broke her arm falling out of an impossibly high tree when she was eleven, having being challenged with the immortal ‘well, boys are better than girls anyway’. The same Jenny who’s room I had witnessed change from boy bands to rock ‘n’ roll, from simple mess to youth’s culminating euphoria, all in a single decade.
The same Jenny who looked so beautiful with the moon shining off her auburn hair that I can’t help but lean over and press my lips against hers.
It should probably feel odd to kiss the girl who I’ve grown up with, the girl who’s almost been my sister for the last twelve years. But somehow, it’s much more natural than anything else I’ve ever felt.
“I’m not worried about the future, Jen,” I whisper as we break apart, “because I know I’ll never, ever, lose you to it.”
Author notes
I don't know any haikus, I can't even remember how they work.
So. Um.
Are they 7-5-5?
I really don't know. Sorry.
A contest entry
- Publishable Prose? by Bitter Irony.
335 points, ended August 7, 2007, 25 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
honest feedback, s'il vous plait.
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Very well written flash piece! This is an excellent relationship study. My one criticism is that the characters repeat eachother's names a little too often: try to limit them to once or twice.
As far as the contest goes, my verdict is "publishable". Thanks for entering, and good luck!beginning: 2, language: 4, plot: 3, ending: 4, dialog: 3, characters: 4.
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Beautiful
I thought this was really well written and what a beautiful piece of work it was, you should be really proud of yourself. Good job and good luck. -
*sigh* That was so beautifully written. *smiles* I really don't know what else to say ^^
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This was simply beautiful. Wonderfully amazing. I couldn't stop reading it even though I pressed it with the thought that I wasn't going to read it... you just kept me hooked throughout it with your words and the characters and the... the imagery. This is talent! I read one of these comments that said you were 13? More power to you! The last line is enough to send chills. And it was funny, too. Have a good day!
MoonNight
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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This is a fantastically written piece! I thought it was brilliant! The language was simple but emotive, you could really feel the emotions behind the words.
A real pleasure to read.
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I love it!! It's soo...I don't have words. You dearie...are a brilliant writer and anyone else would think so after reading just a paragraph of anything you've written.
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Aaaaw. How sweet. I thought it was great. It was clear, descriptive and had a good storyline. Keep writing!
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rereads, especially ones as nice as this, rock
you you you... are 13... but you must have neruda's soul or something
*considers calling you meggers the possessed*
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It amazes me that you're so young and able t owrite with such clear consise thought and imagery.
You've an ability to share feeling and delve into the emotion of your characters which pulls the reader in easily.
normally I would like more details but I think to add more to this in that fashion would detract from this piece.
very well done. -
this world needs thinkers, explainers, not more people to blur the lines between reality and fiction
THIS is so true. But I do not agree with how the world functions and what the world needs
(haha, my mind defies all of the people's thoughts and logic). I think that the lines between reality and fiction, or reality and fantasy should always be blurred - fantasy and fiction holds more promise and beauty than reality does, so perhaps, everyone needs a semblance of beauty AND hope in their lives..
*ends babble.. starts a real comment on the story*
I think this is one of the few (or the only?) straight story of yours I've read and I am absolutely delighted... you've perfectly portrayed friednship, how it blossomed and just.. transformed into beautiful love. I lvoe their friendly banter, their conversation... It's something "simple," yet it's the kind of simple that do not leave us empty ^_^
Kieran's last line.. last words, reminded me of the song "Simple and Clean" by Utada Hikaru.. in the song, there is a part where she talks about the future.. and I love that song ^_^
One thing:
You realise this might be the last time we ever do this?” Her soft voice teases me out of my star-filled euphoria. ‘This’ means sanctuary. ‘This’ means letting our souls loose under the stars, free to swim away. ‘This’ means forgetting time, and lying in the grass of my garden for as long as we need to, until all these things happen.
I felt you said 'This' too much.. but that is my personal opinion ^_^
‘This’ means sanctuary. Letting our souls loose under the stars, free to swim away. Forgetting time, and lying in the grass of my garden for as long as we need to, until all these things happen.
*points up* is my suggestion x.x
please don't stab me, meggers x.x
I really did love this
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There are other straight ones, I just happen to like gay pairings better...
But yeah, I think this one called for heterosexuality.
xx
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Awwh!!! How sweet.. i love the idea of best friend's falling in love.. i love your writing style.. good start, planning to write more?
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Nope. This was a one-off, because I had all these ideas swimming around inside of me which were gonna get in the way of Kookaburra if I didn't get them out. This is the result of that.
Thanks for your comment [:
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Oh, I really liked this.
Very sweet, and very innocent. Annnnd....it was as straight piece! Haven't seen you write one of those in awhile...unless...
Anyways.
It was good, and I liked reading it.
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Yes, it was straight.
Is everyone gonna be this weirded-out about my choice of sexuality?
Thanks for your comment sweetie.
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Well, duh.
You're welcoooooooooome
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