Meeting Agony
It was strange to stand in that unfamiliar park and wait for her after all these years of negligence. I knew that she called me just because she had something to benefit from me – probably money again.
When she finally came, we sat on a bench and she put a strange bag between us. I felt as though she was rather disgusted and unpleased by seeing me and sitting by my side.
She took off her ugly, huge sunglasses and put them in her dirty coat. Her dirty and cheap outfit said more than enough about her current condition.
We did not look in each other’s eyes – we kept staring at the crowds in the park. Little children were chasing each other and the parents were busy creating gossip.
A newborn was loudly crying somewhere near and we could hear his mother’s begging, “Please… Stop crying… What is it that you want, dear?...”
I looked at my mother and couldn’t keep my eyes focused on her longer than a moment. I looked away at the ugly, mistreated bag.
I bit my lower lip to keep tears from coming out of my eyes – it was more than sad to admit that I looked exactly like the person I was most ashamed of. I’ve inherited her little lips, her wavy russet hair and even her little, pointed nose. The only thing that distinguished us was the scar on my cheek she gave me when I was just a child.
I closed my eyes tightly to get rid of the image and suddenly heard a loud scream. I was absolutely sure that it was the woman that was begging her newborn to calm down.
I jumped up and was shocked to see my mother aggressively holding the yelling newborn and pointing a gun to its head. The ugly bag, now empty, was lying on the ground beside the knocked out woman.
“Killin’ ya won’t give me the satisfaction!,” my mother yelled. “It won’t give me the pleasure! I wanna kill ya from inside! I wanna make ya suffer by knowin’ that ya were the reason an innocent kid died!” Then I heard the dreaded bang and then another one… Taking an innocent soul and an evil one away from this life… keeping me forever in hell.
Author notes
Okay... this my A word is Agony. This is just something that poped into my mind so there it goes. Hope it fits the contest...
A contest entry
- "A" stands for... by RedTalon.
175 points, ended June 2, 2007, 5 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Intense, powerful piece of writing.
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Wow! That was weird, but good. Nicely done. Interesting ending. Keep on writing. God Bless!
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very powerful and emotional. great job with this. the last line was awesome.
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wow twisted. I like it u r a great writer. Good job
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Gripping and intense. But some questions which pop in my mind remains unanswered. But good writing. The ending was really shocking.
. Rewarded 4
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wow
that was pretty powerful and more than a little frightening. The part at the end, where the mother kills the baby, it scared me but it was exceptionally well writen. You leave quite a bit up to the imagination of the reader but it works with this story. I have no doubt it will be bouncing in and out of my mind all day.
Thank you.
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Popped into your head?
I wish I could get stories to pop into my head that have as much emotion as yours. Well done. I really enjoyed reading this. The last bit was really brutal...but, with the way you wrote "keeping me forever in hell"...I was mesmerized. Well done indeed. Good luck. -
wow...that was a twist that i didn't expect.
i think that my favorite part of this was at the beginning when you first mentioned that it was her mother. i wasn't anticipating that and it was a twisted pleasure indeed!
the ending left me stunned for a moment...it was really good, once i sat and thought about it for a little while. definitely make me want to know what the mother's problem was.
very nicely done!
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