I watch you play this masquerade
with your own groundless fears.
A feathered mask can't hide what years
and sorrow now invade,
and stolen youth can't help but fade,
white powder streaked by tears.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
You're on a stage without an end,
no truth beneath this lie--
there's nothing more than meets the eye,
no meanings left to bend,
just melding with the modern trend
of poetic last goodbye.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
A shallow stage, a hollow show
of actors scared to speak.
Their lines are lost in voices meak,
said far too fast or slow,
while mask-veiled faces, white as snow
speak chains to bind the weak.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
And those are chains you cannot break,
for one day soon you'll find
that more you fight, the more you bind
yourself to this mistake.
Your life's an easy one to fake,
and masks aren't hard to find.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Now find an exit, take a bow
and vanish from the stage.
Your act is growing cold with age
and yet you wonder how
this role that is your freedom now
will one day be a cage.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Hang your mask upon a shelf,
it smiles while you grieve.
Its comedy cannot decieve
the hours, first or twelfth.
Of all the lies you tell yourself
there's one you can't believe.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
For here's an act you need to see,
Tomorrow played by Never!
Timeless bond are soon to sever
and leave you weak but free.
The only hope this gives to me
is nothing lasts forever.
Author notes
Entry for option 2, a poem.
A contest entry
- Yeh Brudda!!! by asthray.heart.
350 points, ended May 29, 2007, 12 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Poets Challenge (prewrites aloud) by Forgotten Anomaly.
300 points, ended November 1, 2007, 36 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Any comments would be appreciated!
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I love the message that this poem has. While the meaning is very obvious it still manages to retain that mysticism that is essential to good poetry. An inspiring write.
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Wow, that was awsome. It rhymed so smoothly that it was as though it was being sang as someone crossed the stage. The meaning is somehow deep, yet mistearuse. I think i get it, i'm sure i get it. But with poetry i can never tell.
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Returning the favour
Wow! I really enjoyed this, I am not normally a reader of poetry but this was brilliant, the emotion is so strong.
Deserves to win the contest. Good luck
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Very sonorous...musical. This has all the elements a POEM should have. The sound, the music, the assonance, the alliteration, the wonderful, original meter... the consistent metaphors...and the meaning. All the allusions to masks,stages, hiding, acting and poor players are consistent and add to the show, a sad one, but a true one...(I love your use of the line: "nothing more than meets the eye!" The one possible error I stumbled on was in the fourth stanza...you have: "that more you fight..." I heard "THE more you fight." Anyway, good luck there...I know this deserves to win! You are a wonderful writer.
Gary Alexander
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Thought I'd return the favor and read one of yours...
All in all, very pretty. I really like the rhyme scheme. Couple typos (I know you hate those). In the 2nd to last verse, deceive is spelled ei (because it's after C) not ie. Also, in the last verse, do you mean timeless bondS are soon to sever or timeless bond are soon to sever?
Other than that, some cliches are there that I wouldn't use (but then, I probably use some ones you wouldn't use). But, I think the rhyme scheme is unique enough to outweigh the cliche. Good job, I like it! -
This was amazing, truly briliant so much effort and works seems to be put into this. The imaging and flow and all the wording was really well done.
Thanks for entering and good luck.
Lady Madeline.
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I really like this poem and I like the weird curvy things! Do that again! It feels like a wave that goes up and down! I was amazed.
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I decided to return the favor and comment back... and omg.. AM I EVER thankful to have done that
As I was reading.. I thought to myself that this poem seemed like something that would be beautiful even while read out.. so I reread it and this time, said it out loud. There's something magical with your words, your piece.. the sadness stained my mind
but your poem's beauty lingered, and I am amazed.
You write with the magic of Lady of Shallot.. and you've also put wise words, real things, that makes this world and your poem painfully beautiful
Thanks for sharing this with us I greatly enjoyed reading good lcuk with the contest!
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