[ “I quilt dreams my through the mirror” ]

“I quilt dreams my through the mirror”
“By: Bedig Hindoyian”
• When night falls
The owls hoot and wolves howl
And the black crows crow and growl
As shadows began creeping on the walls

• I stand by my mirror
When outside is night
Under the fair moonlight
The images got clearer and nearer

• I quilt by the pane my dreams
My heart tells and tales
As my imaginations sales
The glass chimes and gleams

• It’s not me that I see
It’s not the reflection of a miserable beholder
Burning inside in a smolder
It’s not the image of the wrecked me

• I see you on a stallion galloping
I quilt my knight on a horse
Armed and dashing in his course
Ramming the ground hard and walloping

• I frame my castle
Far over the oceans away from my hands
Away in a castle in distant lands
Where there is no way for a vessel

• My love darts like an arrow
Paved the land in a whiz
A knight so fair and wiz
Darting fast like a sparrow

• He reached home
Few steps away from my arms
I try to hold him in charms
But the frame become a dome

• I glide my cheeks on the glass
To kiss and caress tight
My sobs shatter all night
They have parted us alas

• I hit and slam and batter
Attempting to set him free
The mirror breaks and I fail to see
For my dream shattered right in front of me

A contest entry

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Comments


  • tacobell4me08
    June 18, 2007

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    this was a little hard to follow. I liked the lay out. how the stanzas rhymed ABBA it was interesting. This was a great poem. Thanks for entering the contest and good luck.

    beginning: 4, language: 3, plot: 4, ending: 5, characters: 4.


  • Peaceloveandbeatles
    May 27, 2007

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    This poem was beautiful. I liked the rhyming pattern you chose...its not one that many people use often. My favorite part was when you said. "My love darts like an arrow" that simile was my favorite. Beautiful


  • Frozen Fire Poet
    May 25, 2007

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    This is great and I liked it like all your works. Thanks for sharing and you make one of the best poems on the site. Thanks for sharing pete.


  • HeartBreakR
    May 23, 2007

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    This is a good poem. The one bad thing about the rhyme scheme is that to rhyme sometimes you say things that don't matter or don't really make since to stick with the rhyme. "hold him in charms" and "burning in a smolder" they rhyme, but they don't mean anything to the reader.

    Flow is a little rough. I think that if there was more of a consistent rhythm all the way through then it would improve the poem. "I frame my castle" there's five syllables and the next one there's like eleven.Iambic pentameter would do wonders for you. This all through the poem would make the flow so much better.