SNAP!
The hunter tenses, and holds the awkward position.
Right foot behind and to the left.
He holds his breath and the position for a long minute.
Did she hear?
He curses his clumsiness, how did he miss that branch in the leaves?
Please don’t let her run!
His heart thudding in his chest, he watches the doe dip her head again.
Good, she’s still relaxed, grazing on the new spring fiddleheads.
He resumes his slow, careful movements, getting into a stable position for the shot.
He’s been trying to cross paths with this doe for days,
waiting in her evening tracks for her return.
He carefully widens his stance and lines up for the shot, breath slowing to a stop.
“Can’t mess this one up” he thinks, “Can’t put food on the table that way!”
CLICK! CRACK!
“Got her!” he exults quietly to himself as he walks over to the stream bank.
Bending, he picks up the twig she had been standing on before she wheeled and bolted, snapped by her pointed, delicate forefoot in the mud.
Smiling, he slings his camera back over his shoulder,
“That shot’ll sell for sure” he thought as he turned and began to pick his way slowly down the mountain.
A contest entry
- Under 200 words by QueenWolf.
140 points, ended May 22, 2007, 49 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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you did well to discribe the movments of the photographer. it's well discribed and i didn't know it was a photgraher untill i read the word. everything fits into place perfectly. well done.
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This is not one of my types of stories but i have to say it was a tad confusing. Oh well I think thats me. I`m not good at commenting on stories. Only poems but still I love stories.
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Beautiful Plot Twist
Ah.. My kind of hunter! A camera man showing animals in their homes. Good Job! -
Woah!
I NEVER saw that coming! This Is Great! well done, you had me caught in the moment. I was thinking that the poor deer was done for the wham! Its a camera! Great work! Welcome to SW and good luck in your first contest.
~Queen~ -
Sneaky!
Well done for such a shorty. Very suspenseful. I thought for certain you were going to have a dead deer. There is a contest by Queen Wolf I believe which is for two hundred words or less. There is also a group called 'natures haven' you might enjoy.
How do you like Storywrite?
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Pretty good so far. I've got to start writing more!
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