My Friend Jessie (RIP)

When I was about 8years old, I moved the summer before I started 3rd grade. We moved all the way on the other side of town, so I didnt know anyone. The first friends I gained were named Jessica and Amanda, they were sisters and lived just next door. 1

We would play together, and learn more and more each day about who we were. Not only did I ride to the bus stop everyday, and hang out with these girls, but I guess you could say we kind of grew up together. 2

Jessie was closer to me then Mandy was. She had the same birthday as me, and was just a year older, and a grade higher. Growing up, she would always tell me secrets. Things she didnt even tell her sister, but she told me. Jessie was pretty and could have any guy she wanted, pretty much always been like that. I thought it was so cool just to be her friend. 3

After Jessie left middle school she entered high school, a whole different life. I was still back in middle school, so I guess you could say we drifted a little, and Mandy and I became friends. Jessie got into a different croud. Fast teenagers that were into partying, and sex. She was to worried about what everyone thought of her I guess. At the beginning of the year, she was even suicidal, and had to seek treatment. She also began experimenting with her friends. 4

One night, she went to a party with some friends. It was an hour away, in Detroit. Her sister Mandy asked her to stay home, I guess she had a feeling but Jessie insisted that she was going. Mandy said "I love you Jess" and her she replied "I love you too" with a caring smile, and ran out the door, hopped into a car, and sped away with her friends. 5

Im not exactly sure what she took, all I know is she experimented with some friends. Did the normal thing, get high with friends. But something was in whatever they smoked, and she didnt feel good so she layed down. The next day, the boys that took her there found her dead, paniced and left her there. Whoever found her after that called 911. My friend was dead. 6

It wasnt until the next day that I found out she died. I walked into my school, down the 8th grade hall to my home room, and my friend Dariana stopped me. "Amanda's sister is dead,  you know Jessica?" But it didnt click, I was just like "huh? I gotta go, Im late. "  Then it hit me when I walked in my home room, I seen everyone crying, so I just left. But it never clicked in that it was my Jessie. I walked down the hall to the girls bathroom, and seen my friend Courtney crying. "What the hell is going on Courtney?" She replied "You know Jessica Ayrton, she died yestarday" I couldnt breathe. I was in shock so bad. I walked to the office, and called my mom but no one answered. 7

I sat in school all day crying, I couldnt do my work. I didnt want to be there, but I couldnt just leave. After the last bell rang, I went home and cried. Telling people at home didnt help, talking about it didnt do any good. No one really could understand. "Jessica is dead, dont you get it?" They would just look at me with their arms open. One friend tried comforting me at school the next day "Itll be okay" and that set me off. I screamed and sobbed "No, its not okay, Jessie is gone, she died, and she's never comming back. How the hell is it okay?"8

My mother went with me to her funeral. I seen everyone gathered around her casket. I couldnt bare to look, it was only my 2nd funeral, and I never seen a dead person before. Besides, me looking wasnt going to bring her back. I just looked at pictures, and during the funeral, I broke down. I could hear my loud sobs as they played Angel, and Ill be missing you. No one even bothered to look, because they were all sobbing too. My mom held me for the first time ever, and she didnt let me go. 9

After that, no one really talked about her. It just all went into silence. I couldnt even say her name without the person turning deadly white, and changing the subject. No one understood how I felt, so I entered depression. Started taking pills, and I must say I was pretty close to dying atleast a few times. Im going to skip all the grossom details. 10

I still find myself missing that girl like crazy. I write poems about her almost everyday. I met some great people that got my life back on track, and helped me get through her 1year anniversory, and all this time. They still help me. 11

RIP Jessica Lynn Ayrton12

11-26-87 to 05-04-0313

I love you!14