Save Tonight

"You never know what you have until its gone"1

I chased after her down the street trying to think of some reason to bring her back from Catherine's house down the block, but my mind was blank as always. I would never admit it but I hated when she left me alone. That chatterbox always was talking and reminding me there was someone else in the old empty house, but once again she was gone. I was dumbed for an 8 year old, figures. It seemed everyone in the world knew her name, wether by Julianne or some odd nickname, but no one really ever got to know her. Everyone always thought she was some stupid ADD child with no attention span or option, but i thought much higher of my little sis. I admit, I was never very nice to the rodent, but I did love her. I had to, everyone had to, everyone with a heart that is. Jules looked back at me as she neared the corner, her stupid trademark grin wide on her lips. She was always trying to make friends, always trying to make them like her, but ushally she just got made fun of. That always hurt me more then it hurt her. Teasing Jules was my job, and mine only. It pissed me off when someone else teased her, and I always ended up making a fool out of myself by standing up for her. The stupid brat. I walked home to the lonley old house. Damn it I hated being alone. I ran up and down the stair turning on all the lights, turned up the volume on every radio, even the little fish one in the bathroom, and flipped on every TV. Much better, now I can think. I was always complaining that i couldn't think with Jules in the house, when really it was the opposite. I hated quiet, it made my thoughts too loud. Bored  out of my mind I searched for someting, anything to keep my mind in check. Finally I settled down with my sketch book and drew. I could draw for hours on end, as long as I got up every 10 mintues. I can't stand staying still. My thoughts were lost somewhere as I absent-mindedly drew, but somewhere else something bigger was happening, wilder then even my imagination.2

Skipping across the busy street, Julianne hummed her ushal "Yellow Sumbmerine". She finished the rest of the block by running to the white door, and banging on it as if her life depended on it. No answer came excpt for the howling of their wolfish hound dog, Greta. Julianne sighed, her bad luck causing her best friend to have already left for the pool. She turned around and began to walk home, her mind caught on the lyrics of "Elenor Rigby". Julianne was going through one of her wierd phases, what I liked to call "the Beatles phase". Staring contendly across the street at Matthew, another nieghborhood friend, she waved. Suddenly out of no where an old blue jeep flew along the busy street. She didn't see it coming. Julianne forgot all she knew about cars and didn't run across the reminder of the street, thinking it would stop as cars ushally did. But it didn't, it kept on speeding towards Julianne. With a loud scream, the jeep hit Julianne. It didn't stop, it kept on going, the basterd. Julianne fell to the ground motionless. 3

The scream echoed through the streets, bouncing on windows and into houses. I jumped with a start. What the hell was happening? At first I didn't regonize it, but then i realize it was Jules. Young, smiling, little Julianne. I ran out of the house and sped towards where the noise came from. Stopping filled with shock, I looked down at my defeated sister. Lost and broken, she lay still as a corps. But she wasn't dead. 4

She couldn't be.... it wasn't possible. Jules was the only thing keeping me alive!! Everyone else left me, She couldn't too!! Too shocked to move. Too scared to look away. Someone was pulling me away. No! i wouldn't leave her. I had promised her I'd never leave her. I shook my head. No! this wasn't happening. It wasn't happening to me! Suddenly I ran. I stopped thinking and my legs took over. I ran. Ran past everything until it all became a blur, a never ending blur. Nothing was good. Nothing was kind. It was all evil. It wanted to take her away from me. I won't let go. I won't ever let go.... collaping I found myself confused and lost. My chest heaved as everything slowly shifted back into its rightful place. I was so confused and tired. I needed to sleep. Sleep would be nice... just sleep....5

I woke up in a slightly firmilar bed. I looked up searching for answers. Instead I found Erin, a nieghbor. She spoke to me but the words all jumbled together. Where was Jules? Where was my sister? We got into her car and drove to the hospital. I ran to where the nurse directed me, to find the door locked. I banged on it. I wanted my sister back! They couldn't take her! Some led to to a plastic seat where i stayed for hours. All I wanted was my little sister back. I made promises to her, how I would never steal her stuff, and how she could keep one of the cats. How I wouldn't make fun of her, and how i'd be a better sister, just if she stayed with me. Finally the door opened and before the doctors could get any words out, I rushed into the room. Falling to the ground at the side of her bed, I blurted out everything. Of how sorry I was for not protecting her from the car. I told her that she promised she would stay unlike everybody else. I screamed at her that she better not leave me, but still the little ten year old didn't move at all. She was cloaked in bandages and IVs were stuck in just about every place possible. I refused to cry though. I wasn't allowed to cry infront of her. I remember the night where I ran away to the playground, and she was the only one who came after me. I screamed at her telling her that I hated her and for her to go home. She left and I felt so bad for it I went home and crawled into bed with her begging for her to forgive me. It hurt me so bad to know I hurt her. I wished I could crawl into bed with her again. Slowly I began to sing the one song we both agree on. "Save tonight and fight the break of dawn, come tommorow tommorow i'll be gone."6

A single tear trickled down my cheek. I hoped with all my heart she wouldn't leave me. 7

eventally I was dragged home. I couldn't fall asleep. My whole entire body was telling me to go back. I wanted to save my sister. I wanted to be her hero like I always used to be. But something inside me told me this time I wouldn't be able to save her. Early in the morning, I got the call. She died at 2 AM. A little part of me died that morning. I never seemed to care about Jules, she just seemed to be a annoying brat. But i now realize, that i did care about her, and she was probally the one person who truly cared back.... the next day I went into the hospital to see her one last time. Stopping me, a nurse who had been there when Julianne died told me something. She said Julianne was awake just before she died. She said two words before she died. "Save Tonight"8