I walked hand in hand with my fiancee down the beach. The waves were gentle and slow moving at this time of day. It was early evening and the breeze felt nice after a long, hot day.
Shane asked me to marry him the night before and I accepted right away. We were high school sweethearts and even though we had our rough patches, I knew we loved each other. I met Shane my first day of my freshman year, he was a sophmore. All of his friends ganged up on him for hanging out with a "freshie" but he didn't care. That surprised me, as most of the guys back then were assholes. Shane just being as sweet and caring made me feel, protected.
All throughout high school we went out, that is until he graduated. I was upset because we had been going out for three years and then, he was leaving for college. The good thing however was the college was local so I could see him on the weekends but it was still hard. My senior yea was hard on me. Guys hit on me all the time and tried to feel me up. Also, my grades were not doing so well. I barely passed my main classes. Shane saw this and made me study, he came over whenever he had a free minute and helped me. Slowly, I started passing my classes and by the end of the year, I was in the top 5% percent of my class.
After graduating myself, I went to the same college as my sweetie. It's been two years since I grauated college, three for Shane. So that brings us to today.
As I said before, Shane proposed to me and I said yes. But the romantic thing was, was that it was here at this very beach. Every summer since I was little I went to New York to spnd time with family. My grandfather live on the beach and fo the last year Shane and I was been living with him.
Author notes
Not done yet for contest
Option 2 - Write me a romance story
A contest entry
- Options... or Fantasy! by Radiance.
225 points, ended May 24, 2007, 14 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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romatic! so is this ur life?
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LOL sure
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Good . I love romance,too!
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lol, thanks
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I will! Thanks for the comment
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This was really good, and has great potential. A few small spelling mistakes, but it was seriously very good. Let me know when you continue please!
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thanks again sakumo for commenting.
Angel - thank you for your suggestions, I do realize I had spelling mistakes and I should not repeat myself as I did. It was not harsh, it was the truth. I may fix it up and redo I'm not sure though.
Mem -
Hmm...
Ok, I honestly, I've read better things. There are some speeling mistakes too. For example,
The sentence "My senior yea was hard on me." is supposed to be "My senior year was hard on me."
Also in the sentence "Shane just being as sweet and caring made me feel, protected,"
you do not need the coma after the word 'feel'.
I also think that you are a little too repettive. At the end, you don't need to say "As I said before. Shane proposed to me and I said yes." Instead, try "Now, the beach we're walking along is the same one we were on when he got down on one knee and asked for my companionship." That way it doesn't soound like you're saying the same thing you did at the beginning.
One more thing...The ending doesn't seem like and ending, either that or a poor attempt at one.
Just some suggestions. Sorry if I seem harsh, I do not mean to be. This story has potential.
*Frozen Angel* -
short, but I think it could turn into something...
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Ok! I will
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Let me know when you finish it!
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