“I’m sorry, honey,” he whispered into my hair, “It’ll never happen again.”
I nodded, breathing in his familiar scent of sweat and alcohol.
“Now lets go get you to bed, sweetie,” he coaxed, pushing me towards my room.
I let him lead me up to my door.
“’Night Ellie.”
As he walked away, back to the room he shared with my mother, I pulled the gun from my pocket. “Stop.”
He turned slowly, looking slightly alarmed. “Ellie, what are you doing?”
“Get out of here,” I paused to cock the gun, “Now.”
“What the hell?” Andrew took a step forward. Glaring down at me, he growled, “Put the gun down.”
When I didn’t, he reached out a hand to grab me. I dodged his hand, shoving the gun in his face. “I said,” I repeated calmly, “get out.”
A look between surprise and terror was plastered on Andrew’s face in a lopsided grin as if he realized how serious I was. He walked out of the apartment without a word. He didn’t look back. Like the others, I knew he wouldn’t return.
“Honey, have you seen Andy?” Fiona, my mother, asked as she passed my room where I was doing my homework after having hidden the gun in my sock drawer.
“Nope,” I answered, smiling pleasantly.
“Oh well,” my mother sighed, pulling a hand through her curls, “he was a jerk anyway.”
I nodded in agreement, turning back to my algebra.
“I’ll probably be home late,” Fiona muttered, pulling on her faux fur jacket, “There are some leftovers in the fridge.”
“Ok,” I murmured, wishing she’d stay, “Bye.”
I didn’t go to school that day. Instead, I went to the movies. The movie theater was one of the few places I felt safe. Hidden by the darkness, watching the large glowing screen, I could forget for a while. After paying for my extra large popcorn and diet coke, I showed an employee my ticket. “Straight and to the left,” he instructed in a monotone, “Hope you enjoy the movie.”
The theater was virtually empty except for an elderly couple and a group of Goth-looking teenage boys. They paid no attention as I walked in and slid into a seat in the back of theater. There were ten or twelve of them in all. All except for one had their hair dyed black. The blonde boy turned, revealing blue eyes, a nose sprinkled with freckles, full lips, and a scar running from his jaw to his ear. He smiled as he noticed me. “Hey.”
“Hey,” I answered, keeping my eyes on the screen.
“Lonely?”
I pulled my eyes from the screen to glare at him, “I’m fine, thanks.”
The boy turned back to his friends, sniggering.
The rest of the day was uneventful. I ended up going home early. Not wanting to walk home, I decided to take the bus. After paying the driver, I sat down in an uncomfortable seat in the back and pulled out a book I’d taken from Fiona’s room. When she was younger, Fiona had been an avid reader, devouring whole books in record time. Grandpa had said she’d been very smart. “Top of her class,” he’d say proudly. Then his face would darken, and his brow would furrow as if he didn’t understand, “Until she met Tony.” Tony was in a band, smoked, was a high school dropout… In other words, Tony was everything my Grandparents disapproved of. So Fiona ran away from home and moved in with Tony. I was never sure what happened next. Fiona would never say. But I had a pretty good idea of what happened. Fiona got pregnant. Tony got scared, wasn’t ready to be a father, and abandoned us.
When I got home, I heated up the leftovers Fiona had left and settled in on the couch, flipping channels while I ate. I settled on the CW, which was playing a One Tree Hill re-run.
“Ellie,” Fiona greeted me as she walked into our apartment, arm in arm with a scrawny dark haired guy, “Meet Dave.”
I just stared, disappointed but not surprised.
“Dave, honey, this is Ellie, my daughter.”
Dave grunted a hello, wrapping an arm around my mother’s waist.
“I think I’ll go to bed now,” I sighed, leaving the sound of Fiona’s giggles as she led Dave to her bedroom.
A few days after Dave’s arrival, I knew it was time to get rid of him. He wasn’t good for my mom. So when Dave got home, I took out my gun and slid it into my pajama pocket. It was late. Fiona was already asleep.
“Hey Ellie,” Dave greeted, noticing me as I walked into the hallway.
I didn’t answer, just glared.
As he walked away, back to the room he shared with my mother, I pulled the gun from my pocket. “Stop.”
He turned slowly, looking slightly alarmed. “Ellie, what are you doing?”
“Get out of here,” I paused to cock the gun, “Now.”
“Hey honey,” Fiona greeted Dave groggily, walking up to him. She stopped suddenly, noticing me. I still had the gun pointed at Dave who looked terrified.
“What’s going on here?” she asked shakily, looking from me to Dave.
We all stood there for a moment, frozen, speechless.
“That *bunny* is trying to kill me!” Dave screeched, breaking the silence.
“Ellie?” my mother murmured, turning to look at me, “What is this?”
“He’s no good for you,” I whispered, “He’ll just let you down.” I paused, taking a deep breath, “Like all the others.”
Dave backed away as my mother stared at me as if she was seeing me for the first time, horrified.
“They love to let you down,” I said, looking her straight in the eye.
Author notes
Love To Let You Down - Life Of Agony
(inspired by title)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
option #4
A contest entry
- Ok, here's the deal... by Drac.
510 points, ended July 2, 2008, 21 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - American Idol Collides with SW by Andrew Timothy.
260 points, ended June 19, 2007, 16 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - More Options by Embitter.
345 points, ended June 10, 2007, 13 entries
Honorable mention
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Watev!! by asthray.heart.
1100 points, ended June 20, 2007, 56 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Not Dumb by tacobell4me08.
310 points, ended July 2, 2007, 23 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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Very good! Love how you used the title of the song here, and I love the way you wrote it! Very good story, with a natural flow to it =D
Well done, good job!
beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 4, characters: 5.
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This was good, rather confusing why she would shoot them all.
Thanks for entering and goodluck
Lady Madeline.
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Hmm. I liked the ending, that really picked it up for me.. But for some reason I really just couldn't get into it.. It seemed to not move at all. like the story didn't really go anywhere.. there was no direct tone or atmosphere in the wording, even though the overall plot and structure is very nice..
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Wow
I don't know who this but you are very talented i hope im cool wit you, loev to see what you come up with next.beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 4, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.
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thanks!
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Wow
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Hmm...in the beginning I thought it was something about the men raping or molesting her, and maybe it was and I'm not getting it. I don't think it was descriptive enough, though I like it for being short.
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sorry, my stories tend to not always make that much sense. i like to leave a lot to the imagination.. maybe too much.
thanks for your comment
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Great story. i hope she sgot the bastard!
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lol thanks
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"All expect for one had their hair dyed black." - you mean 'except" :-)
Oh. My. God. This was fucking awesome! Seriously seriously awesome. Really well written and abso-fucking-lutely AWESOME characters, so well-developed and realistic. If I met the main character in real life, I would totally hang out with her, she is THAT well-developed in personality and dialogue.
The random everyday elements you included in your story were wonderful as well.
Everything about this was wonderful. You did an excellent job with this and I strongly hope that you continue it.
Awesomeness.
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thanks so much!!
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Well Done
Hey, this was a very good write, I couldn't spot any mistakes, and it leaves you turning the page. If you ever write another part, please, let me know!
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glad you liked this! i'll let you know if i add more
thanks!
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Great write. I see you managed to out a one tree hill reference in there lol. It was very good. Keep on writing.
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lol yes, i just needed to add One Tree Hill to my story.
thanks Jazz
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Wow. Ellie is pretty protective of her mother, who has a bad taste in guys.
This is a great piece. I like it a lot, and it's kinda scary (guns!), but that makes it even better. Great write!
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thanks so much!
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