"KYLE!" screamed the police officer, who had to THROW my dad back to keep him from jumping on Kevin, the other police officer hustling to get his clothes on. "Um...Angel, if you want this to be our secret...it can! We don't have to tell anybody about you and Mr. Daniels or me. Sounds good, right?" I nodded, still wanting the release. Ah ha! I had an idea! I shoved the police officer down, who hadn't even gotten his boxers on yet. I slammed the door shut and locked it, to the dismay of the other police officer and the anger of my dad.
"DRIVE!" I screamed at Kevin, who hastily drove to an empty cabin i'd pointed him out to. It was a very private place-only i-and now kevin-even knew about it. "I want you," I said seductively, ripping off his boxers and leading him, in the freezing cold, to the cabin, three miles away. His erection became deadly against the harsh winds, and for a couple of minutes i thought maybe he'd gotten blue balls. By the time we reached the cabin, he went wild, whipping out a mass of chains and tying me to the bed left behind by owners long gone. He slid his finger down my clit, making me moan in pleasure. I felt my nipples stiffen, and watched him cup both in his bare hands, bouncing them along my chest. He sucked hard, making sure i stayed alert as he slid five fingers straight up my hole. I screamed as he plunged them deep inside me, then pulling them out as a steady stream of white cum shot out of me. He licked up every last drop, and i knew it was time. He was too horny. He arched his back once more, than rammed his pulsating dick right into me, causing me to arch my own back and my tits to plunge into his mouth. He sucked furiously as he corned my G-spot, ramming into it every couple of seconds, me begging him to go faster. He released the chains, and i sat on top of him and bounced furiously, causing him to scream too. He plunged me straight down, speeding up, his balls slapping his legs every second in his urge for a release. Finally, i felt the orgasm coming, over and over and over,cum pouring onto his shaft. Finally he screamed as he cummed, releasing seeds deep inside me and pulling out to have it sucked for cum once more. Finally, we lay down, panting, and fell asleep right away.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Well, at least they didn't get interupted this time!
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Once again this is really good. But once again it could have used a bit more detail. Its awesome and you should really write more. I agree with you it is the best out of the three. I enjoy it and I'm sure the girl in the story does too. *claps*
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all three were too short.
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Tempting
It is very strait and has got the pace of the act which is literally transformed into the words by means of description. It is really nice to read this piece.
beginning: 3, language: 4, plot: 4, ending: 3, dialog: 4, characters: 3.
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hey thanks
but im not afraid to use dick, penis, cock, vagina, pussy, cum, semen, balls,knuts, clit, or anything like that. I really didn't feel like using them in this one
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Not bad, but...
Not bad...Read the first two. If I may make a suggestion?
Try to be a bit more descriptive about the "not so adult" moments. Such as the drive to the cabin. You did a good job with the sitting in the principles office. And you may want to make the characters a bit more 3 dimensional, if you know what I mean. Give them common ground with the reader, so to say. Other than that, Nice job. I liked the storyline.
Oh, and don't be afraid to use "Dick, Penis, Cock, Vagina, Pussy" or any down to fact terms. It helps excite a reader more which seems to be your goal with these sort of stories.
(My ratings are of all three storys, btw)
beginning: 4, language: 3, plot: 5, ending: 3, dialog: 1, characters: 2.
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