Blood from a sword,
No metal made.
Scars from wounds,
No weapon made.
Tears of pain,
True sorrow made.
Hope flies in darkness,
Darkness you made.
Wandering,
Wondering,
What to do,
What to say,
To end the pain,
The pain that you caused,
The heart you broke,
The tears you made.
A contest entry
- Under 200 words by QueenWolf.
140 points, ended May 22, 2007, 49 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Blood from a sword,
No metal made.
Scars from wounds,
No weapon made.
The first part. Thats my favorite.
This was a beautiful poem. You did a really good job on it.
The message is clear and the flow is good.
You're an awesome poet
Great job!
xoxo
Kee up the good work!
Tay
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thanks so much glad you liked it.
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Wow, such a well-constructed poem. I liked the last stanza a lot and the lines will probably echo in my mind for days on end. You wrote with a good voice.
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thanks =)
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I liked how you repeated "made" it had a nice effect on the poem. It was a very interesting poem, and what seems to be a poem that you put much thought into. I hope everything turns out alright for you, or for whoever you wrote this for. Good job.
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Thanks, glad you liked it. It didn't work out, but that's OK. Things happen. =) Thanks again.
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I like this one, although the flow seamed a little off but that could just be me.
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You know how to get a message across. Well written and hauntingly beautiful. (i know I am weird) Good luck in the contest.
~Queen~ -
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thanks a lot, glad you liked it.
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I like this. Very simplistic, short. Good job writing this. I really liked your message.
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thanks =) glad you liked it.
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