Scene One:
Fade in:
Interior: Kenton Mental Hospital, 2nd floor, outside of room 207.
Insert- full screen: clipboard with medical symptom, fade in on patient’s name: Rose Johnson.
Cut in: A doctor impatiently tapped his shoes. Wider angles showed the name tag: Richard O’Connor. A scowl marred his face as he sarcastically returned a response.
RICHARD
That’s the only reason you’re here. Right, I believe you.
A woman in her early thirties stood before him in a stylish suit. She exasperatedly took off her glasses and with her other hand poked sharply at Dr. O’Connor’s chest. Just as the woman was about to opened her mouth a frantic nurse came running up.
NURSE
(She clutched her clipboard to her chest as she tried to calm her racing heart.)Dr. O’ Connor, we need you at the front desk.
Turning his gazes back to the woman, who raised an eyebrow, Richard followed the nurse down the hallway without another word. The woman stared at the Richard for a few moments, expressionless, before entering room 207.
Angle shot from outside window. A young woman in a green hospital gown stared down at the hospital’s courtyard. A wind chime hanged from outside her window. She was smiling for no reason, but at the sound of the door opening, she quickly erased her smile. Standing up, she acknowledged the presence of her aunt with a tilt of her head.
ROSE
Aunt Julia. (Rose turned her head away) What are you doing here?
Aim angle toward a glass of tiger lilies beside the bed. In the background, the soft sound of wind chime tinkled. O.s. a conversation began. Shadow fell as clouds past over the afternoon sun.
JULIA
How have you been?
ROSE
Fine. (A moment of pause) Were you talking to Richard? (She turned on the T.V., a weather report indicated rain) What were his diagnoses?
A nurse knocked on the door. Julia walked over to open it, relieved she didn’t have to answer Rose’s question.
NURSE
A telephone call for you Ms. Wilson. (Turned to look at Rose) There is visitor here for you. A young man named Kevin. Should I let him in?
JULIA
(Turning around sharply) You’re still seeing him? What have I told you Rose? Nurse, please tell him to leave.
ROSE
NO! Aunt Julia, you will not dictate who I should or should not see! (Sunlight returned, widen camera angle to capture Rose’s anger. Her dishevel state caused the nurse to nervously look out the door. Camera shot on a young man’s shoe.
Julia signed exasperatedly before she walked out the door, purposely walking past the man without sparing him a glance. The nurse quickly followed her.
ROSE
Are you planning to stand outside all day? Come in already.
KEVIN
You missed me? (A smirk danced on his lips) Here, these are for you. (He thrust forward a vase of tiger lilies. He frowned at the flowers already next to her bed) Oh. He was here earlier.
ROSE
(Quickly taking the flowers out of his hands) Victor was here yesterday.
The weather man had been replaced by an anchor. Kevin stood there awkwardly. Silence fell between them. Across the hall, a man began the piano.
ROSE
Moonlight Sonata. (She smiled shyly)
KEVIN
Yeah. Do you still play? (He took a step toward her, before he paused. Widen camera angel to show outreach of an arm)
ROSE
Sometimes. (She turned toward him) So. Besides a regular visit, any reasons for the flowers?
KEVIN
It’s our one year anniversary. (He looked nostalgically toward her and closed the distance between them) May I hug my girlfriend?
ROSE
Kevin. (She broke her sentence when he suddenly wrapped his arms around her. Camera angels slowly fade out. Music played softly in the background before the final note ended. In the shadows of the room, Rose let out one teardrop.)
Outside the door, a man peeked in the room before he quietly walked away. A janitor nearby chuckled and whistled a happy tune.
Author notes
A screenplay I'm working on
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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This is a good piece of writing. It got a bit confusing in the beginning, but then when I read more I understood it. Thanks for entering my contest!
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It looks alright. Pretty good screenplay. Above average everything I guess: beginning, ending, characters, plot, language and dialog. Is this going to continue? If it does, I would be interested to see more of it. Keep up the good work!
beginning: 3, language: 3, plot: 3, ending: 3, dialog: 3, characters: 3.

