This is taken from part of a novel I'm writing. It goes through the actual life of a star (star -> red giant -> white dwarf/neutron star/black hole), only it is twisted in a bizarre way. Did you know that when our Sun runs out of hydrogen to burn, it will expand into a red giant and engulf the Earth? Just a little astronomy for you. This story takes place in Deminity, a different dimension, a place where a confident mind can control things.1
Although this is a section of a novel, it has been edited to read like a mini and complete story, focusing on the Star's life cycle.2
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The Life of an Eccentric Star4
In all the fantasy worlds that Megan had thought up or read about in her short life thus far, never once had she imagined being hurled across the universe in a moon posing as a golf ball. But as her round face was poking out of the tiny crater, there was outer space, zooming by her at a fantastical speed. She wondered if this was meant to be her eternal prison, flying forever through space with only her own thoughts to torture her. 5
She didn't have much time to feel sorry for herself, however, because it wasn't long before she was on a collision course with a massive cosmic object. A long way in front of her, directly on her moonball's path, was a burning star. However, she noticed that the universal design of Deminity was nothing like the one found around the Earth. For one thing, the star she was heading for was a luminous orange, and two, it was shaped like a giant Q. Although it was still in the distance, she could see that the edges of the star had the appearance of a hula hoop on fire, only it was burning her eyes to look at. She put her hands over her face, since her hands were also sticking out of the crater, and opened her fingers slightly so she could peer through them. This allowed her to avoid looking at the searing edges and focus on its hollow center. She could see that the middle part of the star had a hazy appearance, as if smoke was lingering there. 6
'I hope I'm heading for the center of that thing, I'd rather take my chances there. If I hit any part of the Q's fiery wall, I'm fried', thought Megan, breathing the non existent air heavily. 7
Sure enough, the moonball was on the proper vector that would pass right through the orange star's middle, but her confidence was still waning. When she had been a child and had picked up an astronomy book, one of the first things she had read had been the mass and energy of a star. Although she had overcome some painful encounters in Deminity, her mind couldn't help feeling pessimistic about her chances against the burning inferno, regardless of its bizarre shape. She wasn't even sure if she would even survive the middle of that thing, knowing how far the heat of a star reached, but the smoky inside wasn't hurting her eyes, so that had to count for something. 8
Once she was much closer to the Q, she was able to inspect the star much more thoroughly (the parts that didn't sear her eyeballs). There was a part of the star sticking through its donut design, which was what gave it its Q shape as opposed to just a regular circle. From a far distance, this section had appeared orange as well, simply because it had blended in with the burning, circular ring, but she noticed it was actually a brownish color instead. It also happened to be the cause of all the smoke in the hollow center, because the smoke was most dense on the inner tip of the brown section. In bewilderment, she turned her head so she could see the outside of the star through her fingers, searching for the Q's outer tip to see where the smoke was originating from. She was being very careful about it, trying to avoid burning her eyes on the ring of fire again. Unfortunately, she couldn't predict that the Q's outer tip was the hottest part of the whole star. It was a furious red color, scolding her beautiful blue eyes.9
"Ouch!" she yelled in shock, closing her eyes hastily and rubbing them with the palms of her hand, watching the flashes of light dance in the back of her eyelids. Though it had been a quick glance, she had gotten a good enough look to have formed an opinion of what she had seen. 10
"That star's smokin' a galactic cigar!" she yelled out in a blind rant.11
While her eyes were closed, the orange luminous body shifted the position of the cigar so that it now looked like a backwards Q. Somehow it was sucking on the middle of the cigar, inhaling the smoke into its hollow center. In turn, its inner wall was absorbing the smoke, giving it the energy to continue on burning happily. 12
By the time Megan had recovered enough to risk another peak through the gaps of her fingers, she could see that its center was looming near. Now that she knew the smoke was coming from its energy source, it was likely still hot enough to burn her to a crisp. It was one thing to be bitten in the stomach and walk it off, but another to survive a star's wrath, even in its coolest section. She couldn't help the feeling of having her confidence shaken. 13
"Great, I'm going to die from second hand smoke," she called out in frustration as the moonball edged closer and closer to the heat trap. "Isn't it bad enough that you're killing yourself with that filthy habit?"14
Before the Q star - an avid smoker who was going to lecture her about the importance his warming energy was to all living things - could give its answer, the flame of his cigar snuffed out. Since all star's use up the energy of their core eventually, whether its hydrogen or cigar smoke, it wasn't an unusual occurrence, but she had to wonder about the timing of it all. She was just about to enter its hollow center, watching the last of the smoke be absorbed into the star's wall, wondering if it was simply great timing that she was about to go through a dying star, or if Flexius had counted on it happening when he had smacked her moonball with his golf club on this unnerving path. Whatever it was, she was happy for her fortune, breathing a sigh of relief as she entered the Q's now smoke free center unharmed. This was followed by an awkward laugh and a miniature fist pump to celebrate her luck. 15
The only thing that was bothering her now was the remnant of vanilla cigar scent in her nostrils that was still lingering inside its body, but that was only a small price to pay for her safety.16
The Q star was very stubborn and wasn't about to go away so easily. Realizing that there was nothing left for it to smoke, it became very upset and mistook Megan's laughter as mockery. In a fuss, it decided to collapse itself, regardless of the consequences it might have on the safety of anyone who might happen to be in the area. Just as Megan was halfway through to the other side, assuming that freedom was all but assured, the dying wall started to cave in on her with a loud growl. 17
She watched what was happening out of the corner of her eye, feeling her heart jump into her throat and cursing the luck that she had so eagerly put on a pedestal. With nothing left to do but hope, she felt her muscles tighten as she willed the moonball on. 18
"GO GO GO," she yelled, feeling the heat build around her and watching the skin of her hands boil in horror. What was even more frightening was that she was experiencing excessive pain for the first time since entering Deminity. When she had been bitten by the shark and had felt nothing, it had given her the extra strength to conquer the beast. Although she had been acting ruthlessly on behalf of her addiction, it had truly been the first time she had felt free from her human weaknesses. It had been a feeling she had longed for, had even dreamed about since the dissatisfaction of her trembling mortality had consumed her thoughts at a young age, but the Q-Star was now robbing her of the inner strength she had built, reverting her back to her old feeble self. 19
Feeling vulnerable, she closed her eyes in panic and hoped that she could hold on a few more seconds. All of her exposed skin were forming skin bubbles and popping painfully. Even her eyelids were starting to sizzle, which was so horrifying that she didn't know how she could remain conscious. It was the most agonizing moment of her life, feeling a single second draw out to eternity. 20
Just as the walls of the collapsing star were about to collide with her, she was finally out the other side with not a moment to spare. With a deluge of relief, she opened her eyes to see that her skin was no longer sizzling. The assurance of her safety in another impossible scenario lifted her spirits slightly. No human had ever gone right through a star before. 21
"I'm invincible!" she called out, her voice trembling with fear and triumph.22
Oddly, this heightened level of unexplainable luck and uniqueness circled her mind, which seemingly help quiet down the searing sensation that was ripping through her skin. As a large smile emerged on her face, some of the intense burn marks even went away. However, she was still partially horrified from the experience, so there were still some minor scarring and burns, but she considered this a small inconvenience considering that she should have been ashes by now. 23
Unfortunately, the intense getaway didn't end there. When the round wall of the star crashed into itself, the act of the contraction supplied an abundance of energy, creating a surge of fury that was far hotter than it had been before. The increased activity of the fueled core then exploded outwards, allowing the outer layers of the collapsed wall to expand enormously. The star became a fierce red color and was once again chasing Megan and her moonball, gaining ground on the distance between them. It was getting so close, in fact, that she could feel the heat building on the back of her neck once again. 24
When she turned around to see what the problem was now, she quickly looked away and sighed. She then rolled her eyes, annoyed with the stubbornness of the red giant star that was forming out of the old star.25
"Was I in such a temper when my grape juice ran out?" she yelled, but then she remembered that she actually was. She may not have had the power of the star, but her attitude was just the same. "O.K., bad example..."26
Megan had earlier scowled at the ozone layer - who had been upset that Megan had fallen through him - due to the withdrawal of her beloved juice addiction. It had been a large hole, and the ozone layer had already taken enough grief from toxic waste in his day, so he had been justified in his anger. However, Megan's screams of 'Nobody cares about the ozone layer anymore' had been most unfair, but addiction can do funny things to the mind; even bring those kind and pure to darkness. 27
Now she was on the receiving end. It was very unnerving to have a persistent, expanding, red giant star trying to swallow her. The heat (although not quite as intense as before) was again becoming a burden, nipping at her tail and smothering her skin until Megan was near the boiling point once more, much like a pot spitting quietly on a hot stove. Before she could go through all the hopeless motions that she normally would do, the star stopped its pursuit. It had expended all its energy at the core from the quick and angered expansion. Without a core to maintain itself, and thus becoming unstable, there was only one natural course of action. With its last cry, it caused a giant supernova explosion which was brighter than the entire galaxy around her. 28
Megan was temporarily deafened and blinded as the wave of energy thundered from where the red giant had been, engulfing her moonball and sending her flailing even faster through outer space. She was yelling at the top of her lungs, unable to hear her own voice, unable to even see her hands, riding the energy like an inexperienced surfer. The worst part about it was that it caused her moonball to start spinning recklessly out of control, making her extremely dizzy. On the plus side, she was still alive, and would sail on through space for future adventures. 29
The former Q-star turned red giant was also alive, just in a new state of life. It had shrunk into a dense neutron star and would have to deal with having no more galactic cigars to fuel its core, but if Megan could defeat her addiction when separated from it, so could it. If anything, it could not live a calm and beautiful life, no longer bounded to its furious nature.
Although this is a section of a novel, it has been edited to read like a mini and complete story, focusing on the Star's life cycle.2
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The Life of an Eccentric Star4
In all the fantasy worlds that Megan had thought up or read about in her short life thus far, never once had she imagined being hurled across the universe in a moon posing as a golf ball. But as her round face was poking out of the tiny crater, there was outer space, zooming by her at a fantastical speed. She wondered if this was meant to be her eternal prison, flying forever through space with only her own thoughts to torture her. 5
She didn't have much time to feel sorry for herself, however, because it wasn't long before she was on a collision course with a massive cosmic object. A long way in front of her, directly on her moonball's path, was a burning star. However, she noticed that the universal design of Deminity was nothing like the one found around the Earth. For one thing, the star she was heading for was a luminous orange, and two, it was shaped like a giant Q. Although it was still in the distance, she could see that the edges of the star had the appearance of a hula hoop on fire, only it was burning her eyes to look at. She put her hands over her face, since her hands were also sticking out of the crater, and opened her fingers slightly so she could peer through them. This allowed her to avoid looking at the searing edges and focus on its hollow center. She could see that the middle part of the star had a hazy appearance, as if smoke was lingering there. 6
'I hope I'm heading for the center of that thing, I'd rather take my chances there. If I hit any part of the Q's fiery wall, I'm fried', thought Megan, breathing the non existent air heavily. 7
Sure enough, the moonball was on the proper vector that would pass right through the orange star's middle, but her confidence was still waning. When she had been a child and had picked up an astronomy book, one of the first things she had read had been the mass and energy of a star. Although she had overcome some painful encounters in Deminity, her mind couldn't help feeling pessimistic about her chances against the burning inferno, regardless of its bizarre shape. She wasn't even sure if she would even survive the middle of that thing, knowing how far the heat of a star reached, but the smoky inside wasn't hurting her eyes, so that had to count for something. 8
Once she was much closer to the Q, she was able to inspect the star much more thoroughly (the parts that didn't sear her eyeballs). There was a part of the star sticking through its donut design, which was what gave it its Q shape as opposed to just a regular circle. From a far distance, this section had appeared orange as well, simply because it had blended in with the burning, circular ring, but she noticed it was actually a brownish color instead. It also happened to be the cause of all the smoke in the hollow center, because the smoke was most dense on the inner tip of the brown section. In bewilderment, she turned her head so she could see the outside of the star through her fingers, searching for the Q's outer tip to see where the smoke was originating from. She was being very careful about it, trying to avoid burning her eyes on the ring of fire again. Unfortunately, she couldn't predict that the Q's outer tip was the hottest part of the whole star. It was a furious red color, scolding her beautiful blue eyes.9
"Ouch!" she yelled in shock, closing her eyes hastily and rubbing them with the palms of her hand, watching the flashes of light dance in the back of her eyelids. Though it had been a quick glance, she had gotten a good enough look to have formed an opinion of what she had seen. 10
"That star's smokin' a galactic cigar!" she yelled out in a blind rant.11
While her eyes were closed, the orange luminous body shifted the position of the cigar so that it now looked like a backwards Q. Somehow it was sucking on the middle of the cigar, inhaling the smoke into its hollow center. In turn, its inner wall was absorbing the smoke, giving it the energy to continue on burning happily. 12
By the time Megan had recovered enough to risk another peak through the gaps of her fingers, she could see that its center was looming near. Now that she knew the smoke was coming from its energy source, it was likely still hot enough to burn her to a crisp. It was one thing to be bitten in the stomach and walk it off, but another to survive a star's wrath, even in its coolest section. She couldn't help the feeling of having her confidence shaken. 13
"Great, I'm going to die from second hand smoke," she called out in frustration as the moonball edged closer and closer to the heat trap. "Isn't it bad enough that you're killing yourself with that filthy habit?"14
Before the Q star - an avid smoker who was going to lecture her about the importance his warming energy was to all living things - could give its answer, the flame of his cigar snuffed out. Since all star's use up the energy of their core eventually, whether its hydrogen or cigar smoke, it wasn't an unusual occurrence, but she had to wonder about the timing of it all. She was just about to enter its hollow center, watching the last of the smoke be absorbed into the star's wall, wondering if it was simply great timing that she was about to go through a dying star, or if Flexius had counted on it happening when he had smacked her moonball with his golf club on this unnerving path. Whatever it was, she was happy for her fortune, breathing a sigh of relief as she entered the Q's now smoke free center unharmed. This was followed by an awkward laugh and a miniature fist pump to celebrate her luck. 15
The only thing that was bothering her now was the remnant of vanilla cigar scent in her nostrils that was still lingering inside its body, but that was only a small price to pay for her safety.16
The Q star was very stubborn and wasn't about to go away so easily. Realizing that there was nothing left for it to smoke, it became very upset and mistook Megan's laughter as mockery. In a fuss, it decided to collapse itself, regardless of the consequences it might have on the safety of anyone who might happen to be in the area. Just as Megan was halfway through to the other side, assuming that freedom was all but assured, the dying wall started to cave in on her with a loud growl. 17
She watched what was happening out of the corner of her eye, feeling her heart jump into her throat and cursing the luck that she had so eagerly put on a pedestal. With nothing left to do but hope, she felt her muscles tighten as she willed the moonball on. 18
"GO GO GO," she yelled, feeling the heat build around her and watching the skin of her hands boil in horror. What was even more frightening was that she was experiencing excessive pain for the first time since entering Deminity. When she had been bitten by the shark and had felt nothing, it had given her the extra strength to conquer the beast. Although she had been acting ruthlessly on behalf of her addiction, it had truly been the first time she had felt free from her human weaknesses. It had been a feeling she had longed for, had even dreamed about since the dissatisfaction of her trembling mortality had consumed her thoughts at a young age, but the Q-Star was now robbing her of the inner strength she had built, reverting her back to her old feeble self. 19
Feeling vulnerable, she closed her eyes in panic and hoped that she could hold on a few more seconds. All of her exposed skin were forming skin bubbles and popping painfully. Even her eyelids were starting to sizzle, which was so horrifying that she didn't know how she could remain conscious. It was the most agonizing moment of her life, feeling a single second draw out to eternity. 20
Just as the walls of the collapsing star were about to collide with her, she was finally out the other side with not a moment to spare. With a deluge of relief, she opened her eyes to see that her skin was no longer sizzling. The assurance of her safety in another impossible scenario lifted her spirits slightly. No human had ever gone right through a star before. 21
"I'm invincible!" she called out, her voice trembling with fear and triumph.22
Oddly, this heightened level of unexplainable luck and uniqueness circled her mind, which seemingly help quiet down the searing sensation that was ripping through her skin. As a large smile emerged on her face, some of the intense burn marks even went away. However, she was still partially horrified from the experience, so there were still some minor scarring and burns, but she considered this a small inconvenience considering that she should have been ashes by now. 23
Unfortunately, the intense getaway didn't end there. When the round wall of the star crashed into itself, the act of the contraction supplied an abundance of energy, creating a surge of fury that was far hotter than it had been before. The increased activity of the fueled core then exploded outwards, allowing the outer layers of the collapsed wall to expand enormously. The star became a fierce red color and was once again chasing Megan and her moonball, gaining ground on the distance between them. It was getting so close, in fact, that she could feel the heat building on the back of her neck once again. 24
When she turned around to see what the problem was now, she quickly looked away and sighed. She then rolled her eyes, annoyed with the stubbornness of the red giant star that was forming out of the old star.25
"Was I in such a temper when my grape juice ran out?" she yelled, but then she remembered that she actually was. She may not have had the power of the star, but her attitude was just the same. "O.K., bad example..."26
Megan had earlier scowled at the ozone layer - who had been upset that Megan had fallen through him - due to the withdrawal of her beloved juice addiction. It had been a large hole, and the ozone layer had already taken enough grief from toxic waste in his day, so he had been justified in his anger. However, Megan's screams of 'Nobody cares about the ozone layer anymore' had been most unfair, but addiction can do funny things to the mind; even bring those kind and pure to darkness. 27
Now she was on the receiving end. It was very unnerving to have a persistent, expanding, red giant star trying to swallow her. The heat (although not quite as intense as before) was again becoming a burden, nipping at her tail and smothering her skin until Megan was near the boiling point once more, much like a pot spitting quietly on a hot stove. Before she could go through all the hopeless motions that she normally would do, the star stopped its pursuit. It had expended all its energy at the core from the quick and angered expansion. Without a core to maintain itself, and thus becoming unstable, there was only one natural course of action. With its last cry, it caused a giant supernova explosion which was brighter than the entire galaxy around her. 28
Megan was temporarily deafened and blinded as the wave of energy thundered from where the red giant had been, engulfing her moonball and sending her flailing even faster through outer space. She was yelling at the top of her lungs, unable to hear her own voice, unable to even see her hands, riding the energy like an inexperienced surfer. The worst part about it was that it caused her moonball to start spinning recklessly out of control, making her extremely dizzy. On the plus side, she was still alive, and would sail on through space for future adventures. 29
The former Q-star turned red giant was also alive, just in a new state of life. It had shrunk into a dense neutron star and would have to deal with having no more galactic cigars to fuel its core, but if Megan could defeat her addiction when separated from it, so could it. If anything, it could not live a calm and beautiful life, no longer bounded to its furious nature.
Author notes
Option 4. My ideal date is May 32nd.. but alas, it doesn't exist!
A contest entry
- Starstruck [stories] by the wonder girl.
300 points, ended May 17, 2007, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Long stories!!!!! by QueenWolf.
350 points, ended May 25, 2007, 24 entries
Honorable winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Contest for All - Big Points to win! by k3nny.
1250 points, ended June 16, 2007, 53 entries
Honorable winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Random Options by Rini.
375 points, ended October 8, 2007, 13 entries
Honorable winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - ~I didn't know what to call it,so this is it~ by Ninja Bubble.
100 points, ended November 24, 2007, 25 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - Original and Best by EphemeralStyle.
450 points, ended April 29, 12 entries
• next story in this contest, remove from contest - The Fire Within. by Doppleganger.
255 points, ended July 12, 10 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next story in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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This was very interesting to say the least. I honestly had never heard to something like this. I whould like to know what megan is of course, but I like being somewhat confused on the subject. This was well written and I could really see what was going on. Very original and beautifully done. I still wish you would enter a new story. There is still plenty of time left to do so. If not the win migt go to whoever writes a new story. Good luck.
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Oooh, sounds interesting already. A very strange concept; I'm still not quite sure what Megan is, but I understand that this is part of a longer story. Great description, and an awesome idea to show the life of a star in such an original way. Great work!
Goodluck in the contest
Eph -
Star smoking a cigar,nice...This is an awesome read,and i think you did a great job at shortening it into a mini.Lol,grape juice addiction...
-Keep It Goin!~Z

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Interesting read.
Viewing the death of a star, up close and personal.
Megan the observer, riding on a golf ball struck by a giant, approaches the oddly shaped star just as it runs out of hydrogen and turns into a red giant and then just as Megan passes through the conveniently placed hole in its center, goes into Nova and begins its collapse into a neutron star and eventually becomes a black hole.
Somehow, the images created by the words of this short story, hold the reader’s attention long enough to impress this sequence on memory better than a dry scientific description.
This was a bit confusing until I also read the comments and then reread the author’s preface.

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Wow, The description at the beginning had me a bit worried. I was thinking it was going to be a boring tale about the life of the star but you made it exciting. I actually really enjoyed this. Since normally I don't like sci-fi, that's awesome. Thanks for entering my contest! Keep up the writing!
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Thanks for your entry into the SW Presents Sci Fi contest. I really enjoyed your story. I think you took something that normally might be a bit tedious for some people to think about and by personifying it, you made a very intersting tale. I also enjoyed the humor scattered about.
Best of luck in the contest. -
I've read this before, I read it again
I enjoyed the story even if I had encountered it before
and I would say the same thing - except correct myself.. I wrote "Q shaped planet" when I meant "star"
I greatly enjoyed this! Thank you for your entry and good luck with the contest
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Cool... Today's really my day! Here's your long-awaited scary comment!
General comment
This is interesting dude! Really! I like the way you tackled this issue.
Spelling and other such issues
A long ways at the start of the story should be i think, without the 's'. That's all I could find. Otherwise, the rest is basically good.
Originality
This is really descriptive and in the way you have tackled the theme, it is original. You've made a scientific subject into a sort of story. That's good! You could have added more though!
Accessibility
The fact that it is a scientific issue makes it not really accessible to all. Although you have used simple terms and tackled it differently, which is really laudable, I doubt that most readers would be engrossed because it still is complex. Anyway, it's descriptive; so, it is good this way. So, no need to change anything.(I'm kind of confusing... lol
)
Quality and style
This is high quality stuff and I do hope you get published when you finish the story. This , as i quote soda, "I imagine plucking it off a bookstore and opening the book to just see this piece inside."
Your style is definitely appropriate for this kind of essay.
Conclusion
Overall, you've done a nice job! I appreciate this loads as it is learning by reading. Thank you for writing this!
Good Luck in the contest and thanks for entering! -
wow, if this is only a part of your story i would love to read the rest! Great description, and a great flow! well done on the silver and good luck in my contest.
~Queen~ -
Verrryyyyy descriptive
and it also opens up a whole new different way of looking at stars. ^_^ I did tell a friend that the moon is a giant golf ball - but I'm the "funny" one so I just got laughed at 
But seriously, I loved this
I could very much imagine plucking it off a bookstore and opening the book to just see this piece inside
I love the thought of having a Q shaped planet, and giving planets life - and lol it is a smoking planet too! 
You descriptions are out of this world (no pun intended, seeing that your story IS set in space
) and what I loved here is that you used almost all the senses
or rather, you had me imagining that I was IN the story as Megan, feeling everything (at some point, I could almost smell the smoke ^_^)
Thank you so much for sharing thsi with us
GOod luck with the contest and with publishing the novel ^_^

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I love science fiction. This is great. I can wait to read more of your work. I hope to see you published someday. I would love to have your work in a book. Keep penning. I enjoyed it a lot.
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Whoa.
I like the sci-fi (vibe) that this story gives. It's like, awesome. Keep up the awesome work! -
Very nicely done! great flow and good use of dialouge.
Hope to read some more of your works soon.
Em

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hehe thanks
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yayyyyyyyyyyy good lucks in da novel and in da contest too this is such a fine piece of writing well done


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