Still You’re Not Alone

“We are gathered here today to remember the life of and grieve the loss of Mr. James Hartsel.” The preacher’s words grimly struck the heart of young Kat. It still wasn’t quite real to her, watching the closed coffin that inevitably held her best friend and her boy friend. Inside her head she recounted everything, every moment they’d spent holding hands, every secret they shared, every story they told. She couldn’t handle this. Kat tried so hard to block out the pain, but she felt like she was Juliet, waking up to find her love dead in her arms.

Beside Kat was her mother, who didn’t seem even the bit phased by the death of Jamie. She was an unwavering stone among broken and fragile eggs shells. Ms. Rebecca Riche disliked that boy ever since he stepped into her house almost three ago. Rebecca had better things to do on this Thursday morning and yet she sat there trying to feel so grief for the worst thing that ever happened to her daughter. She understood Katlyn being upset, but eventually she would get over it just as every other teenager did.

The funeral was going smoothly; Kat had been able to hold her composure. But when it was time for the eulogy, Kat could feel her very heart breaking. She grabbed onto the locket, which held the lyrics “Kitty, only me beside, still you’re not alone” from a song she’d never forget. The picture inside was his smiling face, the one that she no longer had. He wasn’t there anymore; she was all alone. Mr. Hartsel turned to Kat, offering her the stand to say something. What could she say about him? How could she describe when she got the chicken pox, he bought her a kitten to keep her company? How could she tell about how from their first kiss of pure magic, she knew he was the one? How could she explain that their love wasn’t like any other teenage tragic tale of lust; it was the tale of Snow White, so lost to the world so dead, until that fatal kiss that woke her and showed her that life wasn’t as bad as she thought it to be. She couldn’t and so instead of facing the world, like Jamie taught her to do, she ran, so frightened. She was more of a kitten among Pit bulls, then her usual strong demeanor of a tiger-like cat, thus her nickname.

Rebecca watched her usually strong minded and strong willed daughter flee from the church faster then a cheetah. She internally debated her options. Rebecca was never a very caring mother figure. She never put up with tears nor had sympathy for her children. Why should this be different? But as all the eyes followed Katlyn’s retreat from the church, Rebecca considered her reputation. She began to rise to follow after her emotionally distraught daughter, when a slightly familiar boy walked toward her.

When Kyle saw Kat fly down the aisle past him, faster then a speeding bullet, he had to fight his urge to instantly grab her in his arms and kiss away the tears in her eyes. Kyle had been Jamie’s best friend since they were three. Kyle had fallen off the jungle gym. Jamie was the only kid to help him up, and comment, “Wow, your bleeding lots.” Despite his broken arm, he had smiled; thus started a friendship better then Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn. They stood together through school, sports, and most importantly girls. When Jamie met Kat, there were sparks instantly, and Kyle learned how to share Jamie. As time went on, they became the trio, the three musketeers. The three loved each other, but now Jamie was gone, and Kyle had to support Kat. It was his job and no matter how ashamed he felt, he was happy about it.

“Ms. Riche, I’ll take care of her.” He said, in a near whisper. Rebecca looked at him, startled. Now she realized who this boy was. It was Kyle, the other kid who always hung around with Jamie and Katlyn. She leered at him for a second, sizing him up. Could she trust Katlyn with this kid? She gave him a small nod. This boy would do a better job of comforting her daughter then she ever would.

Kyle continued down the aisle, as the rest of the funeral went on. He passed by many people he recognized, others he didn’t. Some threw him a sympathizing smile. Their friendship was known all over Virginia Tech it seemed. Many people wondered how Kyle could go on without his other half. Kyle himself wondered that very often. As he approached the back of the church, he saw no Kat. He turned to the bathroom marked “Women’s”. Hesitating for just a second, he pushed the door; it didn’t budge. He knocked softly; not a sound came from within. Maybe Kat had left, ran away like Kyle wish he had the guts to do.

“Kitty.” He said, using the nickname without thinking about it. “Kitty Kat open the door please.” He heard a sob from within. Patiently he called to her again.

“Come on, Kat. I need you.” He could almost hear her thinking about it. Her tear strained voice answered him back. “No.” She sounded so small, so helpless. Not like the lion he knew her as. Kyle sighed and walked away.

Kat listened to his footsteps fade on the marble floor outside the bathroom. She felt relief slide over her like her silk baby blanket she still secretly kept in her pillow case at night. She sat on the floor of the bathroom. Hearing her nickname, the one that Jamie had given her made her yearn for him even more. She gripped onto her locket. It almost made her laugh to remember the rhyme he used to say. “Kitty Kat, Kitty Kat, where have you been?” he’d tease. She knew her lines by heart. “I’ve been alone, looking for you.” She whispered them now, and they echoed off the empty walls, haunting her like a ghost. Suddenly there was a noise outside the open window. It was just big enough for a body to slide through, and that’s what seemed to be happening. Two feet, one missing a shoe, were coming through the window. Kat let out a surprised little scream, but her voice was frozen with terror before she could yell for help. This day couldn’t get much worse could it? What kind of creep sneaks into church bathroom? Then she realized who it was.

Kyle decided, since Kat wasn’t going to let him in, he would just have to find another way in. Friends don’t let friends cry in a bathroom, especially not during a funeral. Kyle had once promised Jamie, if anything ever happened that he would protect and take care of Kat no matter what. Kyle would never break that promise, no matter what Kat wanted. So, as he walked away, Kyle realized that in the men’s bathroom, there was a window, just big enough to fit a body through if you squeezed. He wondered if the woman’s bathroom was the same. He left the large church building, and plucked a daisy from its home in the ground. Turning to the side of the building, he couldn’t help but smirk. Hanging out with Jamie for his whole life, he had really begun to think a lot like the mischievous and sly guy that Jamie was. He followed along the wall, until he found a window. Hoisting himself up, Kyle looked in on some kind of office. “Damn.” He muttered, letting himself fall to the ground below. The next window he found was much lower to the ground. He had to get down on his hands and knees to look inside. He looked in on a tiled room, with a much too familiar face leaning against the far door. Kyle applied some pressure to the screen, and heard it pop out and onto the floor below. Hearing Kat gasp, he quickly pushed himself inside feet first. One of his a little large for him shoes fell off to the floor below. He was having some trouble fitting through. His bandaged shoulder didn’t seem to want to fit through the window. Kat let out a small scream, obviously not knowing who was breaking into a church bathroom; Kyle probably would have screamed too. Finally he slid through, scrapping his head and ripping his button down shirt on the elbow.

Kat scrambled to unlock the door. Right now she really didn’t want to be near the one person who reminder her most of Jamie. Kyle got to her first though, pushing his arm against the door. She scrambled away from him. Didn’t he get it? It was too hard to be around him right now. She just couldn’t deal with it.

“Kitty Kat please, talk to me.” Kyle’s words were phantoms to Kat. They beckoned her to the edge of a cliff, trying to get her to jump into nothingness. She locked herself in a stall and began to sob more violently then before. Gripping her locket, she managed to mew out “Please just go away.”

Kyle felt the words in his very soul. For a moment, he was about to turn around and leave Kat by herself. Instead he sat up against the stall door.

“Kitty, I never told you about what happened.” He took a deep breath. The story had been haunting him. “On April 16, I had an English class with Jamie. I told him I’d meet him there.” He waited a moment, hearing Kat continue to cry. “It happened so fast. I didn’t even know him, but he was shooting everyone. He hit me in the shoulder and I thought, ‘This is it. I’m going to die.’ Jamie came over to me, hearing the noise from inside the classroom. I tried to tell him to forget about me, but he wouldn’t. He wouldn’t leave me behind.” Kyle started to feel drops on his cheeks. He heard the lock click and the door swung open. He turned and saw her, so beautiful. He continued with his words.

“Of course, Jamie didn’t listen. He saw the kid coming back and tried to reason with him, but no, he shot Jamie. What did Jamie ever do to anyone?” Kyle was crying harder now. “If he just would have listened.” He couldn’t keep going.

Kat clutched her locket. “Still you’re not alone.” She thought through Kyle’s story. She realized, now she had Kyle. Now she didn’t need to be scared and alone. They could be together and get through it. You are never as alone as you think you are. Jamie would live on through her, and through Kyle.

Kyle picked up the daisy that sat beside him. He placed it gently on Kat’s lap. “We can do this together.” He said aloud. “Kitty Kat, I love you so much, as much as Jamie did. We can do this together.” Kat collapsed into Kyle’s embrace. He hugged Kat as hard as he could, although she felt as fragile as a newborn kitten. Though they may never have the kind of love he wanted, they could support each other and get through this like Jamie would have wanted.

Kat leaned into Kyle as if he were the only tape holding together her broken pieces. She missed Jamie so much and probably would miss him forever, but at least she had a stable best friend to protect her. “I’m glad we have this friendship. I’m glad I have a big brother to watch over me.” She whispered into his ear. Kyle sighed, half a sigh of happiness but more a sigh of loss. Kat would always be in love with Jamie, and Kyle would always be the big brother.