All His Sins Remembered

I followed Hoyle to the abandoned well and looked down. Dammit. His putrefied corpse was wedged inside, just like he'd told me.

The body was swollen. Absurdly so. Blackened skin filled with miasmic gasses and liquefied organs stretched like a balloon, expanding to the edge of the well so that his body encompassed the entire diameter. Beneath the skin of his all-too-recognizable face I could see movement. A thousand wiggling things were squirming, adjusting, thriving beneath his forehead and his cheeks and his shoulders.

I turned my head away and closed my eyes. The sight was too much to abide. I forced myself to think about something else.

It was a hot day today. Too hot. Maybe because of that, the stench was unbearable. There was a thick forest between the well and my family's mansion, true, but it seemed weird that no one had even noticed the smell of rot. The stink was so strong that anyone within two miles of the corpse would have to realize that something was wrong.

"Okay," I said. "So maybe there is a dead body on the property, but you didn't say it was your body."

"Doesn't matter," Hoyle argued, floating above the well. "That wasn't the bet. I just said that there was a body. You didn't say it had to belong to anyone in particular."

It was fascinating to watch him drift barely over the surface of the earth. I couldn't stop staring at the way I could see the trees move through the trunk of his body. And the fact that his face was bone white and his lips were tinged with blue was friggin' impressive. Despite how cool he looked, however, he still was completely wrong about the bet.

"But you totally didn't win..." I started to argue. Right then, a breeze blew against my face, carrying with it a fresh wave of stench from the well. Gagging, I started to retch uncontrollably. I closed my eyes and fought against the wave of nausea. After a few moments, the breeze disappeared and the smell wafted away. That helped considerably.

I paused for a moment, and then relaxed. "I'm okay again," I said.

Hoyle looked miserable. "I'm sorry, Gina."

"Why are you apologizing? It's not your fault."

He shrugged his insubstantial shoulders. "It's my body down there. I'm the one who's making a stink."

I rolled my eyes and walked towards him, patting him on the back.

"Don't be a retard," I said and grinned at him. He smiled back, tentatively, before glancing down at his body.

"Do you remember what happened?" I asked him, cautiously.

He stared down the well, leaning over the edge so that his entire face hovered over the opening and he had a perfect birds-eye-view of his bloated corpse. He wasn't affected by the stench at all, which I found rather unfair. Maybe it was because it was _his_ body, or maybe he just didn't have that good of a sense of smell. What were the rules of being dead, anyway? Hoyle hadn't explained anything about that, even though I'd asked.

Hoyle wrinkled his forehead and twisted his lips, sucking them into his mouth so that I couldn't see them. All the while, though, he didn't take his eyes from the body. He seemed fascinated with it.

"Well?" I repeated. "Do you remember?"

"I think you already know," he said.

I didn't want to admit it. "Tell me anyway."

"Fine."

He tore his gaze away from the body and moved to stand very close in front of me.

"Your brother," he said, "grabbed me when I was leaving the showers."

I opened my mouth to argue with him, but no sound came out. There was nothing to say to him. I knew my older brother. I could picture Denny in my mind; his cold green eyes, his dirty blond hair, his thin lips and scarred knuckles from when he punched walls and faces.

I remembered the way Mom had freaked out when she'd found Mr. Muggles, our pet dog, stabbed through the neck with a garden fork.

Oh yes. Denny could have grabbed Hoyle from the showers. He could have done even more than that.

"Did he rape you?" I asked him. It was strange, how easy it was to ask that question. It didn't bother me at all, whereas I knew if I'd asked it before, I'd have started crying and making a fuss. Today, however? I might have been asking about the weather, rather than the sexual violations committed by my older brother.

Hoyle shrugged. "I don't know."

"How can you not know?" I demanded. "It's not like it's something you can forget."

He lowered his head and, for the first time that day, I felt a tinge of sadness in my heart.

"Hoyle, man.... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

He grabbed my hand and I could feel the unnatural cool where his skin touched mine. It was like feeling a water balloon filled with freezing water on a hot summer's day. Incongruous cold contained in an abnormal skin.

"Yes," Hoyle whispered. "Yes, he did. And then he strangled me."

I held his hand in mine, squeezing it as we stood over the well and smelled the rot.

"It's gonna be okay," I said.

"I wish you weren't lying," Hoyle said.

"Me too."

We stood there in silence, feeling the occasional whiff of breeze on our faces, feeling the sun beat down its humid and oppressive waves on our heads.

"It's nice here," I said.

"Yeah."

"It's not a bad place to stay, really. There are worse places."

"Really? Where?"

I gave a brief, tired smile. "Denny's room."

Hoyle stared at me in silence.

"Sorry," I said again. "Do you, maybe, want to see where Denny hid my body?"

"Sure," said Hoyle. "Is it on the property?"

"No," I said. "I can't believe Denny was that stupid. Someone's going to find your body any day now. At least he had the presence of mind to bury mine out in the marsh where no one would find it."

Hoyle perked up, suddenly, and grinned at me. "Hey! That reminds me!"

"Yeah?" I said.

"I won the bet! There was a body on the property after all! You owe me five bucks!"

"Yeah, yeah, doofus. Where are you gonna spend it?"

"Doesn't matter," he bragged, sticking out his tongue at me, "I still won. You're still a loser."

"Shut up, Hoyle!" But I laughed. Things were okay again.

Pulling at his arm, I dragged him away from the well. We started to go south, towards the marshlands, where I could show Hoyle where my own stinking, broken body had ended up.

"Come on," I said to my little brother. "I'll show you where Denny buried me."

Author notes

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I must say, that last line is my favorite.

If you noticed any spelling/grammar problems with the story, please please tell me and I'll fix them.

Thank you! Please leave a review!


**Edited for Clarity - Thank you to Ade and BaldMan for pointing out the logical fallacy!**

**Edited Again For The 20349029384th Time - I swear, one of these days I will make this story error free!**

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 23 of 23

  • Stellaqt2
    October 12
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    BTW: THE 7 IS REALLY SUPPOSED 2 B A:&


  • Stellaqt2
    October 12

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    THAT WAS REALLY GOOD & CONFUSING. I MEAN WHAT KIND OF PERSON RAPES HIS OWN BRO. 7 KILLS HIM & HIS SISTER?


  • silent dances
    December 1, 2007

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    At the beginning I was confused, but as it went on, then it explained things slowly, and It didn't say everything untill the last sentence. It was really good, , and you did a good job keeping it short to. Well, good luck in the contest!

  • the shorty
    October 21, 2007

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    I have to admit, I was pretty confused as to the relationship between the two characters up until the last line. A new twist I wasn't expecting, but very good all the same. Good luck in the contest!


  • Natalie-
    October 3, 2007

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    I enjoyed the too, I didn`t even think that they were both ghosts. It`s a good story, sad though with that good twist at the end.


  • EmeraldDreams
    September 10, 2007

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    Yeah, this had a great twist. At first, I thought it was a human and a ghost, so the ending was brilliant and unexpected. It was also rather sad, I thought.
    Thank you for the entry!


  • necronomijon
    September 9, 2007
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    Nicely done- and a take on ghosts that I don't think I've seen before, too!

    beginning: 3, language: 4, plot: 3, ending: 4, dialog: 3, characters: 3.


  • sly fox
    July 26, 2007

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    well...

    i have to say that it was quite interesting. a disturbed older brother killing of his siblings. Sounds like my kind of story. It kept me there wanting more. however i never expected both of them to be dead and when it was said and done, it all sort of came together.

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


  • Violet Moodswing Greeters member
    July 15, 2007
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    Very enjoyable. Thanks for your entery and best of luck in the contest.


  • Barbara Moderators member
    July 5, 2007

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    Wonderful, wonderful. Thank you for entering, and good luck in the contest


  • eyeambaldman
    June 29, 2007

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    I really dig this story. Good to see you cleared the lone confusion in this story. I love the dialogue between the siblings...fantatstic!

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


  • Sunless Spirit
    June 27, 2007

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    Finally. A ghost story. im tired of the murder stories im getting. very well written. Denny is a girl or boy? Nice ending.

    Good luck in my contest


  • SageSyren Greeters member
    June 26, 2007

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    That last line was brillant. I loved the facted that it was a family thing. Loved probably isn't the best word, but you understand. Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest.
    ~*Brooke*~☺


  • sodancewithsoda silver member
    June 26, 2007

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    Chilling.. omg...
    This was.. done beautifully. ^_^ I think you have perfectly captured the essence of the contest Each part here had me reading carefully, absorbing everything, so that I may not miss out on anything I love that they are ghosts.. the first time Gina says it was Hoyle's body just had me shivering I also love how you made 2 playful ghosts... their conversation reminds me of my conversations with my bestfriend (only, my bestfriend and I are alive thankyouverymuch), talks that border on seriousness and joking and just random mirth

    Your ending.. is beautiful. As is this story I think I already know who you are even if this IS an anonymous contest ^_^

    Thank you for this entry! ^_^ Greatly enjoyed!!
    Good luck with the contest!


  • RedTalon
    June 26, 2007

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    I'm speechless...

    I don't truly know what to say about this piece. The way it was written was so... exquisite, the characters were so...real...I just simply loved it. Great work.


  • Saej silver member
    June 24, 2007
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    Interesting concept. Well-written. Good job, and good luck with the contest.

  • werner1221
    June 1, 2007

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    the last line was awesome ill give you that. but howcome one ghost doesnt gag wen the other one doesnt? is like how u dont gag at ur own farts? lol. i dunno. i thought this was good. gj and gl in my contest.


  • asthray.heart
    May 14, 2007

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    Ohh this was good, thank you for still entering and I am sorry bout changing the basis of the contest...I got bored with the subject...I am happy though you enetered your story still I loved it, very intruiging, funny how they were both ghosts too one troubling question though, if one does not gag from the smell then how come the other does?
    I must also agree with you, the last line was a good line and ended well. Makes the reader want more...well eat least I would like to read more...if you ever do make an add to this please tell me I wuld love to read .

    Thank you VERY much for entering this and good luck . You did a splendid job

    Lady Madeline.


  • Ade Conway
    May 13, 2007

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    Oh wow. This is amazing. Seriously. Though I don't quite understand how ghosts can smell and puke and why Hoyle wasn't affected the way Gina was. I loved the subtle ways you revealed critical information, especially at the last line. The story just makes you think "Oh... my... god..." You get bonus points for shock value.


    • Delfishie
      May 13, 2007
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      Pssst! Hey, Ade!


      .....


      .....


      .....

      Exlax.

      • Ade Conway
        May 13, 2007
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        Bwahahahaaaa... I knew that was coming before I saw the word, and I STILL giggled. It never stops being funny, does it?

  • eyeambaldman
    May 13, 2007
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    I didn't see any grammatical/spelling errors in this. What a cool story this is! Your writing is fluid, and it allows the reader to become part of the story.

    The ending was fabulous. You kept the little secret all to yourself and then sprang it on us just at the right moment. Excellent!

    The only thing I wondered about (and correct me if you can explain this) is that Gina could smell the rot of Hoyle's body, but Hoyle didn't seem to be affected by it. This didn't seem odd to me until the end when we discover that Gina is just like Hoyle. So, that being the case why wouldn't Hoyle be affected by the smell of the rotting corpse?

    Other than that little confusion, I thought this was awesome! Nice work!

    beginning: 5, language: 5, plot: 5, ending: 5, dialog: 5, characters: 5.


    • Delfishie
      May 13, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Heh. I probably SHOULD explain that smelling quandary, huh? Thanks for pointing that out.

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