[Chocolate Cupcakes]

I giggled and threw some flour at him. I ducked as he tossed some of his own flour at me. We were making chocolate cupcakes, with a little bit of extra flirting. I don't remember who started it, but somehow we were in the middle of a flour fight. I grabbed an egg, laughing and then ran around him, ducking, and then jumping up on a chair behind him. I cracked the egg, and he screamed, laughing anyways. He turned around and looked up at me. He wrapped his hands around my waist, and I jumped on him, wrapping my legs around him.

"I love you so much," he whispered.

"I love you too." I whispered back.

- - -

I raised my hand, unsure of what to say. I looked at the ground, thinking it over. I turned the thought over and over, but no matter how many times I thought about it, I still panicked. I looked down at my white dress, and sighed. I was supposed to be getting married to Derek today. It was a special day. It was every girls' dream. To get married. So, here I was, with the perfect wedding. Nothing went wrong. At least, not until the priest started to speak. The doors opened, and there he was. The guy I'd spent two years trying to get over. Two years of pure torture. I tried to forget him, but just seeing him standing in the door way, completely soaked with the rain, everything hit me with such a force. I felt like I'd been swimming for the middle of the ocean, only to be swallowed up with the undertow. I felt a tug at my hand, but I pulled it away from Derek. I looked up, and there he was, perfect as aways, staring back at me. I felt myself giving in to his deep brown eyes. Taking a deep breath, I looked around. People, my family, Derek's family, our friends, they all stared. Only my family, and my friends, knew what was going on inside me. The rest of them? They were just plan confused. But so was I. I didn't know what to do. I had finally gotten part of my life back together, with Derek, but here was Sam, just standing there looking at me so desparately. He always looked cute whenever he was wet, from the rain or just after a shower, it made him seem more...sexier or something. I'd never forget his smell. He always seemed to smell like coconut, with a hint of something that I'd never been able to place my finger on. His eyes always used to make me feel light and dizzy, always were able to make me unable to speak, talk or even think. His smile was heart stopping and his voice made me go crazy. When I touched him, it burned on my skin, forever emplanted in my memories. And when we used to kiss, it was like a fire that never went out. I was so head over heels for the guy, I lost track of myself. I don't know, he was my "high" and when he decided to go off with the blonde, it was like I went into drug withdraw. Except, like ten times worst. It took me a year and four months to get over him. Well, not over him, persay, just to have the capabilty to smile again. That's when Derek came into the picture. First boyfriend since Sam left me and then somehow, Derek fell in love with me as I finished mending my broken heart. I guess, someday, I fell in love with him. We planned the wedding, big, beautiful. He was rich, so it was no biggy. However it happened, he asked me to marry him, and I'll admit it. Sam entered my mind the second he asked, but in my defence...I have none.

So anyways, that's basically how I ended up here. See, Sam left me two years ago, but now he was standing there, asking me, begging me, pleading with me, staring at me. He wanted an answer. Whatever I was supposed to say, I know I didn't say the right thing. How do I know this? Because I didn't say a thing. I just looked at Derek, who murmered my name, and then at Sam, who just stared at me and then I ran. Just ran for the door. Escape. That's all I needed. Pushing the doors open, I heard my name being called from different directions. Ignoring them, I ran into the fresh air, and the fresh rain. Picking up the skirt of my dress, I ran down the street, taking my shoes off. I ran barefoot for a long time, until finally I came to my apartment, which took me about three hours, considering the wedding had taken place in the chapel out in the country. My apartment was about forty-five minutes away from where my wedding was. My feet hurt like crazy, and my head was spinning like crazy. By then, I was way out of breath, and totally confused on what to do. I hadn't made a decision yet. I didn't realize I needed to, until I entered my apartment and my best friend, Becky, sat on my couch, flipping through a magazine as if her best friend running out on her wedding happened everyday.

Okay, so there's a minor detail that I left out. About four weeks ago, Sam came in contact with me. Actually, he didn't "come in contact with me" on purpose. He, apparently, was selling his house. Which is what me and Derek had been looking for. We went to his house, and I was looking around by myself, while Derek talked to the real estate agent. That's when I saw it. I was walking around in the bedroom, and on the nightstand there was a picture. But not any picture. Because it was a picture of me. Which I found really scarey. Around my face, with a red marker, was a heart. Okay, I had thought, not creepy at all. But then, I saw another picuture of me and Sam on the wall. That's when it hit me. Sam's house. My heart started to pick up pace, and I searched the entire house, looking for anymore pictures. I was in the spare bedroom, when I tripped over a book. There it was. A scrapbook. I giggled nervously at the real estate agent, who smiled. I bent down to pick it up, but a picture slipped out. A picture of me and Sam kissing at the park. Becky had taken the picture. I know this because I had the exact same picture in my own scrapbook. Of Sam and I. And our time with us together. Then, sighing. I flipped it open, to put the picture back in.

"Is that you?" Derek's voice had come from above me. Okay, so on the first page, it had said, "The Good Old Times", with a picture of us on the rollarcoaster. It'd been taken at the amusement park with one of those automatic cameras. Anyways, I'd been laughing so hard, and he'd been looking at me.

"No. She looks like me, right?" I asked.

"Yes, very much," Derek had said, glaring.

I had told our real estate agent that I wanted to look through it again, just really quickly, about four days later. I hadn't been able to get the place out of my head. When she went, she'd forgotten to tell Sam that she was coming, apparently, because he was really surprised that we'd shown up. Or maybe because I'd shown up. Whatever the reason, he said to give him fifteen minutes and he'd be out of our hair. Which, I thought, he didn't need to do. I asked the agent if I could just look around by myself, just to see what I thought. She kind of got offended because of this, but let me go around on my own anyways. Going straight into Sam's bedroom, where I knew he was, I sat on his bed. He was in the bathroom, which was attached to the bedroom.

When he came out, he almost screamed. But he didn't. He said, his voice almost cold, "What are you doing here? How'd you know this is where I live? Why are you here?"

I'd said, my voice light, "Well, me and my fiance came here four days ago. I didn't know this was your house until I saw the photos of me," I waved my hand in the direction of them, "and then me and you and that's when I realized you lived here. Then, I saw..."

About to tell him about the scrapbook, I decided not to. Instead, I trialed and he said, "God, do you know how good it is to see you?"

That's when I smiled.

We'd made a date to catch up and then you know, it unraveled from there. Not once did we kiss, or do anything that would make me unfaithful. We flirted, but nothing more. We were friends...



"Hey," Becky said as I kicked my shoes off and looked down at my muddy white dress, "Derek started to cry after you left. And Sam was too shocked that you actually left, you quit the wedding, to do or say a single thing."

I smiled, because she was such a straight-forward friend, who could make it seem so casually. Anyways, I said, with a soft smile on my lips, "Well, I didn't..."

"I know." Becky said, not even looking up from the magazine. She repeated it, "I know, I know."

"You know? You know what?" I asked, walking over to her. I sat down on the couch with a big sigh. My head was still spinning. Why had I run out on Derek? After all, he was the guy I wanted to marry. Not Sam. Sam was my ex. He meant nothing to me now. And yet, seeing him again, he meant everything.

"I know you're confused and you don't know what's going on." Becky said, her voice even, she looked up at me, "But if you were meant for Derek, you wouldn't have ran from him, would you?"

"No." my soft reply came. I looked at the muddy bottom of my dress. Oddly enough, Becky wasn't scolding me about getting mud on my new couch.

"Exactly, so that's why, I told Derek the wedding's off." Becky said, searching my face for my reaction. I was too exhausted to react. Instead, tears started to pour down my face and I leaned towards Becky, falling on the pillow near her legs. She sighed and then, stroked my hair. I closed my eyes and fell into a deep sleep.

Waking up to a bunch of sunlight after crying your eyes out really hurt the eyes. I closed my eyes immediately and the slowly opened them. After a moment of adjusting them, I sat up and looked around. I was laying on the couch, which didn't make sense to me. Why wasn't I in bed? Then, boom, it hit me all over again. I grabbed my pillow and hugged it. What to do now? I wondered. Then I heard a bang, a crash, and a scream from my kitchen. Groaning, I slowly stood up. I remembered that Becky had been here. So, I walked, a little tispy, towards the kitchen. Suddenly, I heard two voices. I stood in the doorframe, and I was toss back into time.

I was standing in the doorframe, Sam was cursing because he cut himself with a knife. I held my First Aid kit in my hand and walked slowly towards him. I sighed and asked, "Is it bad?"

"It hurts, but it's fine." Sam said, looking up at me. He smiled as I opened the kit to get out the bandage. Sam muttered a "Thanks," with a grin.

"Here you go." I said, smiling. It was our first date, we'd went out and come back to my apartment. I was just starting college next week, but I'd met Sam throught Becky's boyfriend. Now, her ex, but at the time, I could've kissed Becky's boyfriend for the idea of a double-date. Of course, Becky and Tony left us half-way through the date, but it was okay. We basically "clicked". So, I remember wrapping the bandage around his finger, and him closing his eyes. I asked, "Do you use a knife often?"

"Hey," he said, acting offended, "That's unfair. I was trying to cook you a good diner, because that Chinese place was disgusting."

"Why Becky loves that place so much," I said, smiling, "I'll never know. I think she has a thing for the chef."

"Guess I shouldn't tell Tony that." Sam said, smiling. He looked down at the food that he had spread out. Then he looked at me and murmered, "God, you're so goregous. You know that, right? I mean, I guess you would know that. Bet you have a different guy out every night?"

"No." I said, smiling, "I don't normally have one night stands. I'm not that kind of girl."

"Oh?" he asked, and then he place his hand on the back of my head. Our first kiss. The most passionate, burning, must-have-more-even-if-it-kills-me kind of kiss. Ever have one of those? If so, it can't have been more powerful than our kiss. Impossible.

So, when I thought about the kiss, I felt dizzy. I mean, really pass-out-on-the-floor dizzy. That's what happened. Who was in the kitchen didn't even connect with me. I just fainted. BOOM. And I was tossed back into the past once again.

It was our year-anniversary. Mine and Sam's. In the entire year we were together, I had calculated we didn't see each other for a total of fifteen days. Otherwise, we'd spent a total of 350 days together. It was amazing, there was never a dull moment. I fell in love with him in the two days after our first date. We were irreseparble since that kiss. I swear, I'd never been more happy in my entire life. So, anyways, Sam had went all-out-romantic for our year anniversary. A recarination of our first date. Minus Becky and Tony. We went and got the same thing we had before. Surprisingly, the Chinese restuarant's food had gotten better. We talked for hours once we got back to our apartment. OUR apartment. It had once been MY but it turned into OUR pretty quickly. Sam looked so cute.

When I woke up, I was laying on my couch once again. Without thinking, I sat up right away. Getting a head rush, I groaned and laid back down. My head pounded. Memory, once again, flooded me.

"Hey, she's awake." I heard a voice come. I looked around and saw Becky sitting on the chair, with another magazine in her hand. Becky smiled and flipped the page, saying, "Sam was worried we'd have to take you to the hospital. I just said it was the shock of seeing him."

"Sam?" I asked, my voice kind of weak. I looked around, and sat up. There he was, sitting on the same chair he used to sit everyday in. Well, it was either the chair or my lap. I blinked and said, "What are you doing here?"

Sam looked up at me, his eyes were big and puffy. It'd taken me a second to realize he'd been crying. He looked horrible. Not at all sexy like he'd been last night, soaking wet. He looked so bad, I just wanted to wrap my arms around him. He said, his voice gruff, "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to."

"Mean to what?" I asked, staring at him. "Mean to save me from my own stupid wedding?"

Sam looked at me, his eyes wide. Then he looked at Becky and said, "You told me she wanted to get married!"

"No, I didn't." Becky said, calmly. She flipped another page in her magazine. "All I said was, I'm pretty sure she wanted a wedding. Never said who's bride she wanted to be."

"What?" Sam asked, looking at me.

"I don't get you." I said, finally, because I nedded to. Because I had to. Because if I was going to figure out what I was supposed to do, I had to finally tell Sam how I felt. I stood up and tried not to raise my voice, "I don't get how you can just walk out on me after everything we've been through. After four years! You left me for that stupid blonde! Then out of no where, you come back and stop my wedding. The wedding that I was supposed to have! The one with another guy. The one I moved on with. The one who helped me get over you. The one who I fell in love with," the tears broke out, "The one who helped me forget my pain when you left."

Sam didn't say anything, and when I looked at always-cool-never-surprised-knows-everything Becky, she was staring at me, surprised. She was never surprised. I stared at her for the longest moment and she said, "Get out of here, Sam. I was wrong. She doesn't have feelings for you anymore. Get."

I looked at Becky, how could she say that? That she was wrong? She was one hundred percent right. I did still have feelings for him. I just had to look at him to know that it was him that I always loved. No matter how badly he broke my heart. He'd always be the one who made life worth living for. Except, I thought, staring at him, he left me. And now he wants me back?


"Izzy," a soft voice came. I jumped, opening my eyes. Everything went blurry, then slowly came back into focas. Sam stood really close to me. The smell of him swarming around me.

That's when I did it. I kissed him. I was wrong. There is a possibilty of a kiss being more passionate, more burning, more need. How do I know this? Because this kiss was like our first kiss, just ten times more powerful. Finally, my broken heart, the one I never really did mend, floated back into it's place.

And with that, I dragged Sam towards the kitchen to make some chocolate cupcakes, whispering, "Screw Derek, the wedding and the past."

Sam laughed and said, "I never stopped, you know."

I turned to look at him, smiling, "I never stopped either. Look in the freezer and you'll find a chocolate cupcake from almost four years ago."

He laughed. Everything fit perfectly. I heard the door shut as I gathered, Becky left the apartment to give us privacy. She was probably going to her boyfriends' house. But then, I heard her voice, soft and coming from the bathroom. So she didn't leave, and she said, "Hi, is Tony there?" Pause and then, "Tony, hi. It's me."

"Watch out!" I heard Sam say, but when I turned to look, I was covered in flour. Laughing, I grabbed an egg. But he already had one in his hand. With two 'cracks', we were both covered.

"I love you, you know that?" I asked him.

"I love you too." he murmered, kissing my lips, trying to advoid the raw egg, that was running down the side of my face. He said, smiling, "Marry me?"

My heart pounded, and tears came to my eyes, "Yes, yes, yes!"

- - -

So that's how I stood at the alter, about a week and a half later, in a different dress, in a different church, with half of the same people, and I couldn't have been more happier in my entire life. I mean, I said, "I do." before the preist even finished the speech. Everyone laughed of course, and normally I'd been embarrassed, but I wasn't. I was giggling and kissing Sam. Too soon, I know, but I couldn't help it. He was so handsome in his tux.