Megan's Bout with Deminity - Chapter Three - Book One

Chapter 3: The Blundering Mortal1


Megan could hear a distant buzzing sound as she lay on her side, her head resting on the cool grass. Her eyes were closed shut, and it all felt like she had just fallen out of a tree, as if deja vu had been playing a trick on her. She was too worn out and sore to deal with the peculiar situation, especially with the massive headache that was pestering her. It would all have to wait until she was ready to deal with it.2

But what was that pain on the side of her leg? It felt like she was lying on a round stone.3

Disgruntled and barely aware of anything but her own discomfort, she rolled onto her back and reached into her pocket. She grabbed ahold of the intrusive object inside and placed it away from her body. Then, smacking her parched lips together a couple of times, her conscious mind nearly punched its way to the surface, screaming to remind her of the lack of water in her body, but it was blocked out by a quick jab from her subconscious mind. While her consciousness attempted to recover, it kept Megan's brain active enough to remain in a semi-conscious state, so long as she remained unperturbed by further annoyances that could energize her consciousness, much like a protein bar could invigorate the muscles.4

It wasn't unusual for her conscious and subconscious mind to constantly wage war on one other, particularly when her body was fatigued in some manner. They would often trade painful blows and try to banish one another into the deep shadows of precarious brain waves. Naturally the consciousness was the stronger foe and would eventually win, but it was always a prize fight nevertheless.5

Much to the exhausted Megan and her subconscious mind's dismay, the buzzing sound continued to grow louder, so she turned back onto her side with frustration edged under her closed eyes. To block out the noise, she covered her left ear with her free hand, while the ground took care of the right.6

The sound wouldn't be denied so easily.7

"Stop..." whined Megan, her voice no more than a whisper, as if coming from a parallel dream.8

The buzzing came nearer still, which brought her beyond her breaking point. In her daze, she reached for the intrusive round stone that she had set down in front of her, blindly feeling around in the grass. 9

Her consciousness was currently wrapped in a headlock, so it couldn't stop Megan as her hand made contact with the glass ball, gripped it, and then tossed it forcefully over her head, aiming to hit the one responsible for the irritation. 10

The object missed its intended target and flew on by, and whatever was making the sound chased after it. Megan breathed a sigh of relief and settled into a more comfortable resting position. Maybe now she could get some peace. 11

"bzzzZZZ..."12

The sound was coming back for her like a thirsty mosquito on a hot summer evening. It started poking at her curled back, oddly attracted to her yellow t-shirt. 13

"Leave me alone," said Megan grumpily, pounding her fist on the ground. She had used to do the same thing at 6:34 am. That's when her alarm clock would go off for school.14

"I'll say, you aren't very appreciative."15

Megan's consciousness leaked through with a vengeance. She opened her eyes in surprise, and the bartender of human biology began to pour all her short term memories into her mind. 16

Once the daze wore off, the first thing she did was reach frantically for her head, feeling around her forehead and ears to see if she still had a bowl of popcorn in her skull, but everything seemed to be in the right proportions. She was also relieved to see that her skin was no longer the color of Kermit the Frog.17

'That Hooded Man and his stupid green gas', she thought angrily, but there wasn't time to dwell on it for now, not with all the other annoyances jockeying for position.18

First off the blocks was the stabbing pain that was ravaging her dry and brittle throat, whenever she happened to swallow. Out of curiosity, she swallowed again, and again, which was ultimately a stupid thing to do, but it fascinated her just the same.19

Following in behind was the constant buzzing sound in her ear, but her desire for water was slowing this annoyance down.20

Bringing up the rear was her headache, but that was a racer past its prime. Headaches had been an all too common thing lately, so it didn't have the fresh legs to keep up with the other two.21

As the race of annoyances progressed, dehydration was still leading the pack. She hoped that there was a water fountain near, but all she could see for miles ahead was a large empty field with blue grass and a blue sky littered with graying clouds. If there was water anywhere in the desolate plane, she couldn't see it, but how could she concentrate with all that constant buzzing in her ear?22

Just like that, the unpleasant noise took the lead as the prime annoyance, and thus Megan's concentration turned to figuring out this blaring disturbance.23

She had been in a stupor at the time of the poking, and she couldn't remember the voice exactly when she had woken up in a haste, but there was most certainly something buzzing behind her the whole time. It had the distinct sound of vacuuming, which was a silly notion. Nobody would ever vacuum a field.24

Knowing that lying on the ground all day wouldn't solve the mystery, she got up to her feet and turned around to investigate, but found only more of the droning blue grass.25

"That's odd," she said, swearing that someone was just behind her. 26

Guessing that a trick was being played on her, she turned again in a hurry, hoping to catch the sneaky bugger. She was foiled again, playing the fool to perfection.27

"Who's making all that racket?" asked Megan.28

"If you insult me one more time, I'll turn up my setting and suck you right into my belly," said the voice again.29

It was definitely coming from her rear. This time, however, she felt a light sucking sensation move up her tingling spine, so she reached around in desperation and felt a handle. She grabbed ahold of it and tried to yank it off, but it wouldn't release its grip on her tasty shirt. 30

"Hey! I'm not finished yet," said the voice.31

"This is my shirt," said Megan.32

"It's filthy."33

The whirling became more intense, sending shivers through her back.34

"Get...off..." said Megan, tugging as hard as she could.35

With a loud growl, the weird thing released its grip on her, which happened to be only the good news. The bad news was, with the force of her pull and the increased setting of sucking power, her shirt was ripped right from her body.36

Megan grabbed at her chest to cover herself up, standing there in nothing but a yellow bra and jeans.37

"Now look what you made me do," said the voice.38

"I'm the victim here," yelled Megan, turning to face the one who had stolen her shirt. She was shocked to see that it wasn't a person, but a talking vacuum. It had a short silver tube for sucking things up, and a small, rumpled blue bag where it stored sucked up things. The bag also doubled for its face. On it was a set of large, flat silver eyes that didn't blink and a square mouth in which it was talking with. She noticed how well its colors blended in with the blue field, but suspected he wasn't a good hunter with all the noise he made.39

"Don't worry, I can fix this. I'm fully equipped with reverse settings," said the vacuum40

It started to rumble and shake as it aimed its tube high into the sky, but nothing was coming back out of it. Something larger than the tube was lodged inside.41

"Uh oh...that yummy glass ball must have gotten dirt caked on it from my belly. It's stuck."42

"Glass ball?" said Megan, wondering why that sounded familiar.43

"The one you threw at me," cried the vacuum, its eyes steaming red.44

"The compass!"45

She reached down and frantically patted her jeans, but the compass was nowhere to be seen. A sickening feeling overcame her, and all the blood in her face seemed to vanish.46

Meanwhile, the vacuum's mouth was beginning to release loud clouds of dark smoke, looking like it was on the verge of exploding. He beckoned Megan to get out of the way, so she dove to the grass and buried her head in her arms. While her eyes were poking out, her gaze was momentarily transfixed on the bruise on her upper left arm (which had already turned a purplish blue color). Then something strange happened. The dark clouds of smoke floated towards her and began circling her body. Even stranger still was when they started raining water down on her. It was a blessing and a curse, but mostly the latter. Although she could feel the water splashing against the side of her face, the amount of water she could funnel into her mouth was just a tease, particularly since she was trying to protect herself at the same time. 47

Coughing from its own rainy smoke, the talking vacuum managed to say, "Fire in the hole," as the dirty compass finally broke loose and shot far into the sky. Immediately following it was a ball of loose blue grass and Megan's yellow shirt. Unfortunately, the force of the previous blast had caused the vacuum to lose control of its tube, and it spun right in the direction of the cowering girl. 48

Megan - who wanted to follow the compass' trajectory - lifted her head just in time to catch the patch of grass directly in her face, which stuck to her like glue because her face was soaking wet from the strange smoke clouds. The clouds were now empty and white and floating to join their fellow kind in the sky.49

"Pfft," said Megan, attempting to dislodge the grass from her mouth, which was an all too familiar taste by now.50

"I'm not used to reversing things out of me, usually they stay in my belly," said the vacuum, chuckling in amusement. "At least you got your shirt back."51

In that moment, with her grass-stained face and her soaked body, she was staring in horror at the yellow shirt that used to be whole and fresh. It now had various holes burned in it, and it was extremely dirty and wrinkled from being in the vacuum's filthy bag. She put it on anyway, because it was still better than standing there with nothing but a wet bra on. Besides, there was more pressing matters to address: a talking vacuum, her location and a missing compass to boot.52

"You can talk," said Megan.53

She realized how stupid that must have sounded.54

"So can you," said the vacuum.55

"What's going on?" said Megan, picking a piece of grass out of her teeth.56

"Just hanging out," said the vacuum.57

"I mean, what's the deal here?" she asked again, ringing out the water from her blond pigtails.58

"I wasn't aware we had an arrangement," said the vacuum.59

"No no," said Megan in frustration. "I'm talking about this place. Where are we?" 60

"In a field," said the vacuum.61

She realized she had to rephrase her questions more specifically, so she calmed herself and tried again.62

"Yes, I can see that," she said, spinning and looking all around in a sarcastic display. "But is this what Deminity is? A giant field?"63

"It is what it is," said the vacuum, twirling its tube in the air.64

Megan sighed. He was as helpful as the vacuum she had in her house back home. It had been held together with duct tape and had taken three frustrating trips over the carpet just to get the dirt out. She supposed she would have to be equally persistant with this vacuum now.65

"Listen -"66

" - I was already doing that."67

"I know," said Megan in a matter-of-fact tone. 68

"Did you?"69

"It was an expression. You are taking my words too true."70

"So what you say is false then? I don't like liars."71

"That's not what I'm saying!"72

"If that's false, then you just said, 'that is what I'm saying.'"73

"Fine. That is what I'm saying then."74

"I knew you were a liar."75

Megan growled something fierce, her eyes bulging out of her head. She reached for her aching temple with her hands and roughly massaged them. If the race of annoyances was a real competition, the headache would have been making a charge from the back of the pack. Sadly, few humans could live their lives without being annoyed in various ways, so the race would only come to an end when the breath of life would leave them.76

In the meantime, Megan had rubbed her skin raw with her palms. Once enough angst had exited her body, she was ready to attempt communication with the vacuum again. This time, she would do her best to project a kind persona, however fake it would be.77

"Could you please just help me find that round compass you launched into the sky?" asked Megan politely "It's really important to me."78

"No."79

"Why not?"80

"It couldn't have been important if you threw it at me."81

"Forgive me, I was delirious at the time," said Megan with a little laugh. "Rainbow vortexes aren't my thing."82

"Don't care."83

"Well," said Megan, her angry creeping back into her voice. "Considering you ruined my shirt, I think it would be the civil thing to do."84

"I was trying to do you a favor. Your shirt was all dirty from rolling on the ground."85

"But I told you to stop, and you kept doing it."86

"I'm a sucker for cleanliness," said the vacuum, eying her dismantled shirt. "I'd be happy to finish the job."87

"You've done enough damage, thank you," said Megan.88

The vacuum frowned.89

Megan knew she had a long search in front of her, the compass could be anywhere (if it's glass frame even survived the trip). She had already become disoriented with the direction it was shot, much like sailors in the middle of the ocean without markers to judge their course. The only thing she knew for sure, was that she had never been so thirsty in her entire life. Without adequate hydration, she didn't expect to make it far.90

"If you don't want to help me find the compass, fine. I would, however, appreciate it if you could point me in the direction of drinkable water."91

The vacuum looked muffled by such a request.92

"What's the fun in drinking water?"93

"I need it to survive, don't you?"94

"You're strange."95

Megan thought she understood his reaction for once. Just because humans needed water, didn't mean eternal beings from another dimension did as well. It was still strange to imagine a vacuum as eternal, but she supposed dwelling on her past reality wouldn't do much good.96

"Ha...well I'm a mortal from a different world. Our bodies need water."97

"I don't think I like mortals much," decided the Vacuum. "Water has no flavor."98

"You judge an entire species based on that?" asked Megan in bewilderment. At least she had reasonable arguments when she disliked someone.99

"Bland tastes, bland species."100

Megan had enough of the Vacuum's discourteous behavior and started to walk away, but he followed her, nudging the back of her ankles with his tube.101

"Yes?" asked Megan, looking over her shoulder at a set of flat, curious silver eyes staring up at her.102

"You didn't say goodbye," said the Vacuum with a vacant expression.103

"Didn't think you'd care," said Megan sarcastically.104

"I don't."105

Megan shook her head in disbelief and started walking again, but felt a familiar rap on the back of her leg.106

"What!" snapped Megan, turning right around to face him.107

"It's rude to walk away without closure," said the Vacuum, frowning.108

"Well I don't care what you think either," said Megan, playing its little game.109

"Rude mortal! You won't live this down!" said the Vacuum.110

Just like that, his buzzing sound came to a halt and his eyes closed shut, as if he had hit his off switch.111

"You've been equally rude!" cried Megan, but the Vacuum didn't rouse. Out of spite, she lifted up it's silver tube and dropped it. "Whatever. Have fun playing dead."112

As she took off in an unknown direction, she was replaying the bizarre conversation in her head, wondering what she could have done differently. Although the Vacuum had been infuriating in every way, she couldn't help feeling disappointed with how it all had gone. She had waited her entire life to meet a talking appliance, and then had blown her first impression once she had her chance. This was supposed to be her defining moment, the beginning of her quest as the ultimate hero. Instead, she had already made an enemy. 113

'I should have asked his name first', she thought, secretly hoping to feel a tapping on the back of her leg, but there was nothing. 114

It also bothered her that she didn't have a clue of where she was, which would have been fine if she wasn't stuck in an endless field. She wondered if this was what the Hooded Man had meant by a world without limits, and whether she was now destined to spend an eternity searching for a glass of water in a sea of blue grass.115

"Hooded Man? Where are you?" she asked out loud, hoping that he would just pop up and help her. Of course, she knew this would never happen. He had already warned her of the dangers she would face if he were to travel with her. It still frustrated her just the same. She also hadn't forgotten about the terrible trip through the rainbow vortex, furious that he had not given her proper warning about the tortures she would experience.116

As she lingered on negative thoughts, it only made her feel more depressed. Perhaps she wasn't being fair and was simply taking out her struggles on the Hooded Man. He had said that she would be the first mortal to come to Deminity. Maybe he hadn't known how painful the Gas of Myriad would be on her human body. She didn't even know if eternal beings could feel pain at all. 117

If anything, the Hooded Man should be the angry one. He had given her a tremendous opportunity to come here, had entrusted much of his remaining power into his compass just for her, and she had repaid him by losing it right away. 118

But it was lost in a dumb, pointless field. And the Hooded Man had called her world drab?119

Before the roller coaster of mood swings could dip back into despair, she forced herself out of it. It really didn't matter if the glass was half empty or half full, so long she was drinking it. 120

"Be positive Megan, countless lives are depending on you. I'll find everything I need before long," said Megan out loud.121

She continued to stray in an aimless direction, her neck tightening with every painful swallow. The headache was really putting a damper on the positive thinking, and the only entertainment was the squishy sound of her own trudging feet.122

Her footsteps would crumple the grass, but the field had a strange elasticity to it. After only a few steps, the indentation of her running shoe would disappear, making it impossible for her to trace her tracks. The worst part of her search was that the scenery never changed, no matter which direction she looked. She wondered if she had made any progress at all. The ground remained perfectly flat, every blade of blue grass was the same height and the grayish clouds remained in the exact same position, as if they were floating along at the exact speed and direction she was. She didn't think it was a funny joke if that was the case, but many of the clouds in the sky were having a good laugh about it.123

Finally, after what seemed like an hour of pure agony, her psyche cracked.124

"How do I discern a compass in a field with no conclusion?" she yelled, dropping to her knees and pulling vigorously on her blond pigtails.125

She was so thirsty that she didn't know what she was going to do with herself. It felt like she was in the middle of the desert, only it wasn't particularly hot and there wasn't a grain of sand in sight. It did feel like she was starting to imagine things though, because when she blinked her fatigued eyes, she could have sworn she saw a large purple pond appear in the distance where grassy field had been before. Whether it was just a trick of the eyes or not, it was worth using the last of her strength to inspect.126

Now that she was on her knees, she didn't have the energy to get back onto her feet, so she crawled at a snail's pace towards her suspected mirage. Ironically, while she was lazily propelling herself forward with her collapsing arms, she noticed a snail beside her in the blades of grass. It was the first sign of life she had seen since the Vacuum, so she attempted to grab it in her hand to get a closer look, but the snail stuck out its tongue, mockingly winked, and then blew past before she could snatch it up. A tiny cloud of dust erupted from the rear of the snail and went directly into her nostrils.127

She stood up at once in an unmeasurable fury, and started to run as fast as she could towards the purple pond, coughing and sneezing the entire way. Her destination was so envisioned in her mind that she completely ignored a wooden sign that read: 'Caution: Do Not Drink,' in big red letters sticking out of the ground.128


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