THE MOMENT OF TRUTH.1
Once upon a time in a place called home` a young man would take a long walk late a night to relax before going home to bed, every once in a while he would pass a lonely figure walking by and going across a dark field that seemed to lead to nowhere. this figure seemed tall and slim and often left a strange smell in the area as they passed each other` which made the young man question if the figure was a female or not. after thinking this idea over` the young man decided to follow the lonesome figure one dark evening to see where this person often visited, as you would expect` this was a very strange thing to do and the young man got rather worried in case this figure was indeed a young lady who saw him as a stalker of some kind. so` being the careful kind` he decided to leave it for a while and instead he said hello a few times as this figure passed him` only to get no response or a slight nod of the head in return, by now he was a very confused person and he decided that tonight was going to be the moment of truth ... come hell or high water` he was going to find out who this person was and where they went to each dark evening. 2
On the night in question` the young man put on his best jeans and made himself look a bit tasty ... just in case his luck was in` after all he was single and had never had much luck with females, leaving his home` he made a note of his actions and left it on his computer desk ... just in case things got out of hand. by the time he reached the normal location of their passing` it was dark and rather cold with a slight mist starting to rise, all he kept thinking was what do I say if it is a beautiful woman who likes me !!!.3
by now he had been waiting for half an hour and there was no sign of the lonely figure who he so wanted to meet. the night got darker and it became colder` by now he was beginning to give up all hope, then suddenly in the distance a figure came from out of the mist and started heading in his direction` his heart started thumping in his chest and then as if it was a cruel joke ... there was nothing there ?.... shit` where has it gone !!!. not wanting to give up` the young man took the path that the lonely figure often took ... but he found himself at a dead end looking at an old ruined house.4
the next evening he tried again but this time the lonely figure never came past him and he came home feeling rather lonely and over the next few evening the same would happen time and again, by now he had given up all hope of seeing he strange figure again and he decided to go and have a nosey around that ruined house during the daytime ... but he was shocked to find that there was no house there when he arrived at the location. now the young man was very confused ? and he was beginning to think he was losing his own sanity, he asked around his village to see if anyone knew of an old house in that location !!! but nobody knew anything and it started to bug him.5
then` one evening while taking his evening stroll the young man could hear footsteps following him and he looked around but nothing was there ?.. worried for his own safety` the young man started to run home and the footsteps got nearer and nearer ... until the young man spun around and shouted leave me alone, there was not a soul in sight and he was standing near the old ruined house !!! ... the night was dark and as he opened the old front door a voice said don`t be afraid because you belong in my world now.6
to this day` the young man has never been seen again .... but every so often two lonely figures are seen passing across a dark field which seems to lead to nowhere !!!...7
would you be tempted to follow them and see where they go ?.8
Written By9
Carl Spencer.10
( 23rd June 2004 )11
Author notes
tiz my first time .... so be gentle with me.
What did you think? Please comment!
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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that house is 300 years old and very haunted
.... trust me` I know first hand 
.... lol.
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Too much to read right now. I'll read it when I get more time. Very nice picture though. I want a house like that! Carl! Build me a house like that! Please hehe blessed be
Kristen -
good job on your first story! a nice ghost story, perfect for a campfire. thanks for entering, good luck in my contest!
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I had never written a story before ! ... but then someone wanted me to enter a contest and this was the result of a five minute scribble ... lol, the story is alright but I am unhappy with the whole thing because I do not feel that it is really as good as it should be .
maybe I should re-write it ! or try writing another story about a different subject ?... who knows` after all` I am still learning to understand writing as a whole.
thank you for your kind comments. -
I like this. Its very creative. Personally, I've always liked either happy endings or horribly sad and terrifying ones. Now this story really leaves me with things to think about... i can either think that it was a girl, and now they are together. Or I can think about what I would do if placed in this situation... I am a curious one, so I think I would follow...
great write! ~*muchlove*~ Shelly
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creative
I cant say that I like it but I cant say that I don't. Good luck. and oh yeah this is a creative write.
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You definately kept my attention. This was a good story, especially for this time of year. (Thinking of Halloween). I saw some grammar errors, uncapitalized letters at the beginning of the sentences and all but other than that, I thoroughly enjoyed this. Nice job!
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Thanks my friend for entering and thanks for always being a buddy...great job!!Blessed be
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wow....very good write carl.I told you that you could do it.Great story...kinda erie.I loved it.Good luck and blessed be my friend
~~Serenity~~ -
thank you Kelly for the kind comments you made, I will write some more but who knows when ?... I need to be in the correct mood to write a story because I need to focus and write it in an instant or I lose interest in it.
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Spooky! Very mysterious and catching. Couldn't stop reading. Wanted to learn who this lonely traveling figure was. Well done, Carl! Might there be a sequel lurking in that foggy mist somewhere? Maybe someone else would like to find the young missing man that is tagging along with the original "ghostly" loner. Never know, do ya? I like this, Carl! But, now I want more! LOL! Keep writing! You've got a wonderful gift, and I happen to love hauntings, mysteries and anything that deals with phenomenon that can't quite be explained. More power to ya! Enjoyed! And best wishes to ya in the contest! I hope you win! Love ya, fellow scribbler! Be seeing you soon!--Kel
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You have a great storyline here. The length is perfect too. But I really would suggest correcting all capitalization and punctuation. It would help the story be easier to read, and it would flow easier. Also using only one exclamation point would be better. Anyways, nice story idea, keep it up.
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Well penned! Yes!
This is a very intriguing, interesting, edge-of-our-desk-chair drama! It unfolds to a surprise ending! Well done! Thank you for this fine read! -
you never cese to amaze me carl. your work always brillant...well thought out and captivating. keep the amazing work going
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